Nobody Told Me 30 Year Olds Were Wrinkly And Unenergetic. Some People Write 30′s Like They’re Geriatric

Nobody told me 30 year olds were wrinkly and unenergetic. Some people write 30′s like they’re geriatric (not OP, more directed at the anon). Maybe my social circle is just rowdy, but half the fifty-somethings I work with can drink me under the table and get up for a run in the morning while I’m hungover-ly pouring Bailey’s in my coffee.

Also I look better at 34 than I did at 24 (as do a lot of people), because I have a sense of style and enough money to pay for a nice haircut/makeup. Honestly, who let me out of the house dressed like a goth at Woodstock when I was in college?

Which is a lot of words to tell anon not to worry about hitting 30. You’re never too old to be a bad bitch.

Nobody Told Me 30 Year Olds Were Wrinkly And Unenergetic. Some People Write 30′s Like They’re Geriatric

How would the brothers react on their (human) mc stressing about getting older? Mc isn’t as adventurous as before and has some wrinkles. Somewhere near 30?

JWSJSJSJ HOLD UP YALL THINK 30 IS OLD ???? DAMN... Man.... I guess half of my followers are basically in the grave, sorry guys. I'll prepare the funerals.

THE BROTHERS to MC worrying about getting older

Lucifer:

For a while, he will just brush your worries off and think its a phase. Maybe he hasn't loved you right lately? He will put a day aside, if not then a few hours, to just thoroughly love you and your changing body. It's in this time that you can get him to fully understand your worries. He'll take your hand and kiss it, reminding you that that's just part of being human and no matter how old you get, he will still cherish you.

Mammon:

He noticed, of course. The slight change in your appearance over the years and how you seem less energetic. He won't tell you but he's been thinking about the inevitable and although he knows it's still long before that, it just becomes more real with your own worries. He'll silently curse your fragile human being and spill his worries out in a heated argument that started over nothing. How dare you be human! That was the cruelest joke of all. He struggles with it too, but maybe you can lift each other up.

Leviathan:

The fact that he even has someone to love like that is amazing and so he avoids thinking about the negative. To him, this is a dream that should never end and when you get worried about that it just reminds him that this isn't a dream and it could end. He'll become whiny and needy, holding you close in fear of you going way too soon. Sure a few wrinkles arent the end, but they're the beginning of the end. He'll be sure to keep you close until then and remind you of why hes with you in the first place.

Satan:

Hes guilty of messing with that a bit. Your lack of energy forced him to use some "energy boost" spells and he is quick to offer something against the wrinkles too. Theres nothing wrong with getting old, he says, but theres something wrong with you getting old. He cant change fate, but he can try to keep you as youthful as possible on the outside with magic, if you want. Regardless, he will love you until you take your last breath. You changed him for the better and the least he can do is keep you filled with love and comfort throughout your life.

Asmodeus:

He starts freaking out FOR you. This is not just beauty gone wrong. This isn't just something you can fix with concealer. This is real. And it reminds him on how very mortal you are. He might shut down and avoid the topic at all costs. If he doesn't notice it, its not real, right? But he knows he has to accept it at some point. He just isn't ready to yet. So please, MC, take the creams he gives you and cherish every little bit of energy you have. Make him feel better while he tries to make you feel better.

Beelzebub:

Hes actually so calm about it at first. He holds you and tells you thats just life, that you're still beautiful to him and that he could still eat you up no matter what. But slowly.... As he lays awake at night through another hunger session, he realizes that time truly is really short and you have maybe 60 more years at best, 30 more at worst. Time runs different through him. Time is irrelevant to him. Having to think about this makes him anxious and he doesnt like it. Is there nothing he can do but to make you feel comfortable?

Belphegor:

Your worries will be ridiculed for a time because much like his twin, he thinks you still have so much time, right? But soon he'll lay awake at night and look at your sleeping form. You have changed.... Grown older.... And that's scary. Is he just supposed to lose you like he lost Lilith? He'll be angry with himself and his father for you being human, knowing thats not really your fault. He'll remind you every day how much you make him feel. And hopes that you feel him too. Don't worry about the details, he'll hold you anyway.

More Posts from Automatictastemakertheorist and Others

Well, damn. As someone who is also independent af (and has gotten dumped for “not needing [the person] enough”, who was raised by a mom who told me not to rely on any “shitty fucking boys”, I can appreciate that.

Don’t you dare make me a Barbatos stan.

Don’t --

Aw, fuck. You did it.

Well, Damn. As Someone Who Is Also Independent Af (and Has Gotten Dumped For “not Needing [the Person]

You know whats sexy? Barbatos. Barbatos is sexy. You know how?

Because hes the type of man that could care so deeply about you but is still so fiercely independent. He doesnt need you. He wants you. And to be wanted by someone is the best feeling. He'd make you feel save and ache for more, tease you and leave you yearning.

But above all else, he would never lose himself and what he stands for, for someone, and that, to me, is sexy as hell.

If you know, you know.

automatictastemakertheorist - Otome Sleeper Agent

If you don’t listen to this song to hype yourself up before a run

We.

Are.

Not.

Friends.

Y’all can go sit in the corner with my husband who used to steal my lighter and now steals my juul AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

(jk my forgiveness can be bought in those cute bic lighters with pigs on them)

I'm that annoying friend that steals everyone's lightners too!! *insert spiderman pointing to other spiderman meme here*

I'm That Annoying Friend That Steals Everyone's Lightners Too!! *insert Spiderman Pointing To Other Spiderman

YAAAAAY LIGHTER THIEF FRIEND!! 😂💖

Why was I a French major and not a Japanese major?

I AM CRYING

"Introducing the eldest brother Lucifer"

By Official Obey Me! (Illustrated by @/Knmc21da)

"Introducing The Eldest Brother Lucifer"

Translated version by @/SOLOM0AN on Twitter

"Introducing The Eldest Brother Lucifer"

-

It looks like they'll be doing these manga page panels for the Japanese release! How fun! :3

Satan! How dare you! It completely ruins the book when you snap its spine! You. Are. A. Monster.

...Where is my fainting couch?

Satan: What's the difference between a child and a book?

Lucifer: *sigh* What is it now?

Satan: One doesn't scream when I snap it's spine.

ONE MORE DAY

ONE MORE DAY

You can only reblog this on 14th march

I swear to Diavolo I will set my own hair on fire if this man and his doggo come save me.

automatictastemakertheorist - Otome Sleeper Agent

Remember fellow demons, fire safety is important! That's why the Devildom Fire Station has instituted a canine training program to better protect you and yours. Would you trust three-headed dalmatians (and their handlers) to come to your rescue?

Barbatos is [here]

Mammon is [here]

💜✨commission info✨ 💜


Tags

Aww thank you! I absolutely adore Portia! She’s got those pretty curves and all the hot goss - we could have so much trouble fun together. Now I have to go catch her latest chapter! 

Aww Thank You! I Absolutely Adore Portia! She’s Got Those Pretty Curves And All The Hot Goss - We Could

Could I request an Arcana matchup pretty plz? I'm 5'2", a bi redhead lady, lawyer (former French major turned child abuse prosecutor), and whiskey-loving introvert. Most of my free time is devoted to reading nonfiction, caring for any animal I can bring home, learning new languages, and traveling (if my animals have a sitter). I lived in New Orleans and Rome so I know some good recipes to cook for my gf/bf. And I may or may not have been in a bar fight. You're the real mvp :D

I pair you with Portia!

 - Portia would be so impressed and inspired by your work as a lawyer. She cares about protecting those who are vulnerable, so knowing that her partner is actively fighting to make sure children are safe would make her trust and confide in you pretty quickly. 

 - Portia prefers fiction pretty often, but she also loves learning about history and real adventures from the past, so she’d love to read or watch things with you about those subjects. She can find something interesting in any subject though, so she’d be happy to learn more about some of the nonfiction topics you enjoy. She also loves animals and would love to give them a home if you both have enough room. 

 - She loves to cook and do domestic things with her partner, so the skill you have with cooking would lead the way to you both spending a lot of time with each other having fun in the kitchen. 

 - Portia is a sweet and caring person, but she can also go hard when she needs to. She’d definitely want to hear about your bar fight story. Though some would expect her to be a little taken aback, she’d have at least one story that’s similar to offer you in response. She’s a lot stronger than people think. 


Tags

Pro tip! Make a 1:1 solution of water and white vinegar and spray it on the pee spot. The vinegar should react with the ammonia in the urine and help neutralize the smell.

Mum and I let a stray cat into the house just now and he pissed on the curtain so we’ve been frantically trying to cover up the smell so Dad doesn’t tell us off.

I sprayed the scene of the crime with a load of dettol but now the whole room smells of that which is even more suspicious.

So I said to Mum: “what if he questions why it smells like a toilet in here now?”

To which she replied: “We’ll just tell him you farted so I had to light the candles but they weren’t enough.”

THANKS MUM

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • beeduoislive
    beeduoislive reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • beeduoislive
    beeduoislive liked this · 3 months ago
  • lyra-hls
    lyra-hls liked this · 6 months ago
  • odhdhs
    odhdhs liked this · 7 months ago
  • kendraslow
    kendraslow liked this · 1 year ago
  • whydoievenneedablog
    whydoievenneedablog liked this · 1 year ago
  • hybridinfatuation
    hybridinfatuation liked this · 1 year ago
  • amdlflamdl
    amdlflamdl liked this · 1 year ago
  • little-duck
    little-duck liked this · 1 year ago
  • atronomiii
    atronomiii liked this · 2 years ago
  • datboyyeet
    datboyyeet liked this · 2 years ago
  • citrusisticdreams
    citrusisticdreams liked this · 2 years ago
  • kittyflows
    kittyflows liked this · 2 years ago
  • m3sblog
    m3sblog liked this · 2 years ago
  • xs0rin
    xs0rin liked this · 2 years ago
  • tinypersonavenue
    tinypersonavenue liked this · 2 years ago
  • taiyoandluna09
    taiyoandluna09 liked this · 2 years ago
  • luc1ferx0
    luc1ferx0 liked this · 2 years ago
  • simpmeetsworld
    simpmeetsworld liked this · 2 years ago
  • cowabummwerdude
    cowabummwerdude liked this · 2 years ago
  • nothermit
    nothermit liked this · 2 years ago
  • ailynyan
    ailynyan liked this · 2 years ago
  • nicholas-andrew99
    nicholas-andrew99 liked this · 3 years ago
  • libzx
    libzx liked this · 3 years ago
  • misspetals
    misspetals liked this · 3 years ago
  • ancientmanfromvalleysofthorn
    ancientmanfromvalleysofthorn liked this · 3 years ago
  • solarsa
    solarsa liked this · 3 years ago
  • jungsh00ksworld
    jungsh00ksworld liked this · 3 years ago
  • lapislalooly
    lapislalooly liked this · 3 years ago
  • floreoo
    floreoo liked this · 3 years ago
  • katy-the-same-as-tsuki
    katy-the-same-as-tsuki liked this · 3 years ago
  • goldie-mammon
    goldie-mammon liked this · 3 years ago
  • penguingirlanzu
    penguingirlanzu liked this · 3 years ago
  • bl888ck
    bl888ck liked this · 3 years ago
  • lgaristocat
    lgaristocat liked this · 3 years ago
  • selenainwonderland
    selenainwonderland liked this · 3 years ago
  • multifandom-simp
    multifandom-simp liked this · 3 years ago
  • paulowniatormentosa
    paulowniatormentosa liked this · 3 years ago
  • fandomhell97
    fandomhell97 liked this · 3 years ago
  • rdqt
    rdqt liked this · 3 years ago
  • kerra-that-one-random-fangirl
    kerra-that-one-random-fangirl liked this · 4 years ago
  • leviathanslongshlong
    leviathanslongshlong liked this · 4 years ago
  • amordcerezas
    amordcerezas liked this · 4 years ago
  • hiziana
    hiziana liked this · 4 years ago
  • minecraftmagic
    minecraftmagic liked this · 4 years ago
automatictastemakertheorist - Otome Sleeper Agent
Otome Sleeper Agent

She/her (in the most nonbinary way). Mostly lurking otome blogs because horny on main. Too old for this mess.

157 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags