And I Love Them Both.

So I have this headcanon.

Whenever I read a fanfic that says “MC” instead of being written in the first or second person, I do not picture my MC. I picture Dolly Parton.

1) Because I am pretty sure she is a literal angel.

2) Because she would have those demon boys eating out of the palm of her hand in thirty seconds flat.

Dolly X Diavolo OTP

In the immortal words of Queen Bey:

And in the immortal words of JoJo:

LEAVE

GET OUT

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

First of all this is beautiful.

Second of all my first thought was “oh hey it’s Bruise-ifer” and I am going to joke hell now, ok bye.

Some fallen lucifer :( this was greatly inspired by the song 'Saints' by Echos - and by inspired I mean I listen to only that song while I was making this because it just fit the mood for me.

I’ll simp Lucifer all day long and nobody can stop me

Don’t think you can make me feel bad about it cause I’m already dead inside

not y’all bashing people for what character they simp for

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

“Just a doodle” that perfectly captures Lucifer being tired and wistful and also beautiful and basically encapsulates the whole character. I love your watercolors!

Just a doodle again 😚👍

Aww thank you! I absolutely adore Portia! She’s got those pretty curves and all the hot goss - we could have so much trouble fun together. Now I have to go catch her latest chapter! 

Could I request an Arcana matchup pretty plz? I'm 5'2", a bi redhead lady, lawyer (former French major turned child abuse prosecutor), and whiskey-loving introvert. Most of my free time is devoted to reading nonfiction, caring for any animal I can bring home, learning new languages, and traveling (if my animals have a sitter). I lived in New Orleans and Rome so I know some good recipes to cook for my gf/bf. And I may or may not have been in a bar fight. You're the real mvp :D

I pair you with Portia!

 - Portia would be so impressed and inspired by your work as a lawyer. She cares about protecting those who are vulnerable, so knowing that her partner is actively fighting to make sure children are safe would make her trust and confide in you pretty quickly. 

 - Portia prefers fiction pretty often, but she also loves learning about history and real adventures from the past, so she’d love to read or watch things with you about those subjects. She can find something interesting in any subject though, so she’d be happy to learn more about some of the nonfiction topics you enjoy. She also loves animals and would love to give them a home if you both have enough room. 

 - She loves to cook and do domestic things with her partner, so the skill you have with cooking would lead the way to you both spending a lot of time with each other having fun in the kitchen. 

 - Portia is a sweet and caring person, but she can also go hard when she needs to. She’d definitely want to hear about your bar fight story. Though some would expect her to be a little taken aback, she’d have at least one story that’s similar to offer you in response. She’s a lot stronger than people think. 

All their tiddies are bigger than mine ;_; but they could maybe wear one of my big sleep shirts for failed political campaigns that I get from thrift stores?

Mammon in a Perot/Choate 1996 shirt would be on brand af, I guess.

(also literally every time my husband - a foot taller and 120 lbs heavier than me - buys me clothes, he insists on going to the register by himself and asking the cashier how they think he’d look in the outfit. Send help plz)

You remember that trend where your favorite character wears your clothes?

He's trying to cover his tiddies, I don't know if that's clear

One of my relatives always gives me a box of pears for Christmas. Like, a wooden box done up with a bow and fancy paper stuffing, and there’s just like four big-ass pears sitting in there. Apparently it’s supposed to be a posh gift, like a pineapple. Which, fun fact: in early America, you could rent pineapples to show off at parties.

Southern people are weird about fruit that we can’t deep fry, y’all.

genuine question: where do people get pears??? i literally have never seen one in person. as a kid i thought they were made up for animal crossing, like persimmons

i dont know how to tell you this but persimmons are also real