All Their Tiddies Are Bigger Than Mine ;_; But They Could Maybe Wear One Of My Big Sleep Shirts For Failed

TFW you’re a grown-ass woman with a paycheck that you can spend on otome games, but you’re also a grown-ass woman and you’re supposed to be responsible with said paycheck. 

Here we fucking go.

Raphael is about to see some gangsta shit, ngl

I dare you. I double dare you.

OMG I’d buy Luke a little Prince Charming costume and have Beel go along as Cinderella. I’m sure I’ve got a Fairy Godmother costume lying around somewhere for me as well...

ok beel is my least favorite bro and all but i just thought of how mf cUTE it would be to take him trick or treating omg

like going house to house with him all happy cause he got a shit ton of candy and maybe mammo can tag along (cause duh FREE candy plus he goes anywhere MC goes what) and luke can come too cause he baby and deserves to have fun as a kid like YALL 🥺

Can you imagine how much fun it would be to take a baseball bat to a giant fucking sea cucumber and just watch it go

GOOSH SPLAT

And then it panics and ejects its guts at you and you just keep beating it

GOOSH GOOSH GOOSH

I'm really mad about the fact that in the new event the brothers didn't let me fight against that fucking giant sea cucumber and just told me to stay away from it, they even told Solomon to fight, but not ME?! 😤 I'm so indignated right now I am not kidding 😡

Look, I love me some spicy East Asian cuisine.

However.

I’m from the Carolinas, spent several years living in Louisiana, and therefore did not agree with the options the game presented. Any Obey Me fans who want to try something approaching devildom spice need to try:

Carolina Reaper in just about anything - it doesn’t have much flavor on its own, just shitloads of heat. I’d mix it up in a vinegar-based BBQ sauce and toss pulled pork in it, and you can cut the heat with applesauce if it’s too much. Actually, ema datshi with reaper or ghost pepper would be pretty good, I should try to make that.

Nashville chicken - ramp up the cayenne: brown sugar ratio for extra spice.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin sausage, or manque choux - again, you’re gonna be drowning your recipe with cayenne to make it spicy, and you can throw in a ghost pepper or Carolina Reaper if you want.

Just remember to wear gloves when you slice your peppers.

Lucifer is Jumin Han, but with the superior pet species, and that’s why I love him.

Who doesn’t love a guy who loves dogs? Lucifer with a puppy Cerberus anyone? Yes? Yes.

Yes yes which of the brothers with abs that cut steel is the flabbiest?

(I ask, as I stuff another piece of pizza into my gaping maw)

I'm taking a hit out on Satan for the sheer DISRESPECT

Made this in five minutes in MSPaint. Sorry not sorry for the shit quality, but this is literally all I can think about when someone calls Lucifer “Luci”.

My sexual orientation is bloody Lucifer and bloody Lucifer only

5I lucifer

Why is everyone a mess around here? Someone get Barbatos, quick.

Satan! How dare you! It completely ruins the book when you snap its spine! You. Are. A. Monster.

...Where is my fainting couch?

Satan: What's the difference between a child and a book?

Lucifer: *sigh* What is it now?

Satan: One doesn't scream when I snap it's spine.