My Sexual Orientation Is Bloody Lucifer And Bloody Lucifer Only

“Just a doodle” that perfectly captures Lucifer being tired and wistful and also beautiful and basically encapsulates the whole character. I love your watercolors!

Just a doodle again 😚👍

And

I just want a daddy, stop kink shaming me, otome :(

Me: I don’t have a type. What even is a type?

Otome games: I present to you, your type

Me: I- my taste is expensive 🤭

OMG I’d buy Luke a little Prince Charming costume and have Beel go along as Cinderella. I’m sure I’ve got a Fairy Godmother costume lying around somewhere for me as well...

ok beel is my least favorite bro and all but i just thought of how mf cUTE it would be to take him trick or treating omg

like going house to house with him all happy cause he got a shit ton of candy and maybe mammo can tag along (cause duh FREE candy plus he goes anywhere MC goes what) and luke can come too cause he baby and deserves to have fun as a kid like YALL 🥺

TBH you’re much better off dating Lucifer than a lawyer. We’re all kinds of messed up and we don’t have the excuse that we have to punish Mammon all the time.

i-

how this year’s review makin me feel

Aww thank you! I absolutely adore Portia! She’s got those pretty curves and all the hot goss - we could have so much trouble fun together. Now I have to go catch her latest chapter! 

Could I request an Arcana matchup pretty plz? I'm 5'2", a bi redhead lady, lawyer (former French major turned child abuse prosecutor), and whiskey-loving introvert. Most of my free time is devoted to reading nonfiction, caring for any animal I can bring home, learning new languages, and traveling (if my animals have a sitter). I lived in New Orleans and Rome so I know some good recipes to cook for my gf/bf. And I may or may not have been in a bar fight. You're the real mvp :D

I pair you with Portia!

 - Portia would be so impressed and inspired by your work as a lawyer. She cares about protecting those who are vulnerable, so knowing that her partner is actively fighting to make sure children are safe would make her trust and confide in you pretty quickly. 

 - Portia prefers fiction pretty often, but she also loves learning about history and real adventures from the past, so she’d love to read or watch things with you about those subjects. She can find something interesting in any subject though, so she’d be happy to learn more about some of the nonfiction topics you enjoy. She also loves animals and would love to give them a home if you both have enough room. 

 - She loves to cook and do domestic things with her partner, so the skill you have with cooking would lead the way to you both spending a lot of time with each other having fun in the kitchen. 

 - Portia is a sweet and caring person, but she can also go hard when she needs to. She’d definitely want to hear about your bar fight story. Though some would expect her to be a little taken aback, she’d have at least one story that’s similar to offer you in response. She’s a lot stronger than people think. 

I’m drinking and tired of politics, so let’s do this.

Nickname: I always go by Nikki, which is the short form of my middle name. My mother named me Whitney specifically so I wouldn’t get a nickname, but my dad decided that since he was Ricky, it would be cute to have a kid whose name rhymed with his.

Zodiac: Cancer, the crybaby bitch of the zodiac meme pages.

Height: 5′2″ but I refuse to leave the house without heels so TAKE THAT NATURE.

Hogwarts: Gryffindor forever.

Song stuck in my head: “Save Your Tears” - The Weeknd

Number of followers: Fuck if I know, my fragile ego won’t let me look.

Amount of sleep: Not more than 4 hours at a time, but I usually get two or so blocks of sleep so I guess it adds up.

Lucky number: I don’t know, I usually play 20 when I play roulette.

Dream job: Independently wealthy guinea pig trainer.

Wearing: My fluffy bathrobe I haven’t washed in several weeks so it smells like my dogs who use it as a bed when I’m out of the house (I’m sexy).

Favorite instrument: Played the piano as a kid, sucked ass at it, but still love a good Satie bop.

Aesthetic: Dark academia or bubble goth, depending on how drunk I am.

Favorite author: I usually read nonfiction, but I own basically the entire collection of Mary Roach’s books.

Favorite animal noise: When guinea pigs hear a bag crinkle and they go whee whee whee

Random: My past jobs have included tanning salon manager, sex ed teacher, math tutor, DMV clerk, and staff writer at a newspaper.

17 Questions 17 People

Tagged by: @emilycollins00 !! (>♡<)

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Nickname: I actually have, lots of them;;; my name is not much of a nicknamable one (Ray) but I have been called Mal (it was a typo but then it stuck lol), I am used to being called Kitten/Kitty and also I love when you guys give me nicknames in here such as Honeybee! Other nicknames include: demon, angel, beauty, mallow, bee, tiger, etc etc etc ^^;;

Zodiac: Leo ♌

Height: I haven't measured in years but since I'm quite taller than my mom and she is 1,57 meters and have been taller than some people at 1,60 meters, I supose I pass the 1,63+ meters line.

Hogwarts: everytime I do a quiz it gives me Gryffindor so that's that-

Song stuck in my head: Traumerei to Kuhaku

Number of followers: currently a bit over 1,600

Amount of sleep: I try to get 8 but then my body says

And I get 5 instead. I force myself to sleep 3 more hours or so but it's always with a bit of waking up from time to time.

Lucky number: 3

Dream job: I have no dream job, my full time wish is just to get enough money to spend on what I like and to my own happiness.

Wearing: the most used sweater I have that I refuse to give away no matter how old it is, pajama pants and one of my knee high striped socks.

Favorite instrument: Violin

Aesthetic: hmmm, I'm not really sure! Any aesthetic I use for something is used to match whatever mood I am trying to give or just something that looks good.

Favorite author: myself lol

Favorite animal noise: any bird noises are my favorite noises even if it is them screaming at 2am.

Random: I once tried to impress my crush by doing a high kick with flip flops and the one that was on the foot I used ended up on my house's roof.

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Honestly the only person that comes to mind is @jae-tries-writting-stuff but there is no pressure! And it would be fun if others did it too! I would like to know about you guys if possible! I really find everyone really interesting and just want to know about silly things-

I’ve been a prosecutor for as long as I’ve been an attorney. Nowadays, I prosecute child sexual exploitation, and I don’t feel bad at all for the motherfuckers I bury under the jail. 

But are cops bastards? Yes. I can tell you fucking stories of the times I got into screaming, cursing matches with police that I thought were doing a bad job and they didn’t like that I wouldn’t back them up. I can tell you that when I first started in a rural Southern county, the Sheriff told me, “well, I figured they’d hire a n------ or a woman”. I can tell you about my colleague, a Black woman who was a prosecutor, who got pulled over on her way to work multiple times because she was being profiled by the cops she saw in court every day.

Is the criminal justice system broken as fuck? Yes. I hated sending people to prison for drug crimes especially, because hell, if I got caught doing drugs in college, maybe I’d be in the same place. It fucks with you. That’s why I went to the sex offense work, it’s gross and awful and psychologically taxing, but I don’t have to wonder whether I’m prosecuting a victimless crime. I can feel like I’m protecting people instead of persecuting them. And my defendants are mostly white dudes, so my white privilege is a little bit lessened there.

Am I a bastard? Yes but I am a recreational bastard and I would like to be recognized for the hard work I’ve put in to be a bastard in my private life, thank you.

some people need to realize that acab means all cops and  not american cops 

You have no idea how much I want to do this when opposing counsel calls me to bitch.

OC: “Well really Facebook isn’t supposed to tell the government when their users upload child exploitation material so I’m going to file a motion to suppress-”

Me: BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKER

Yesss I love my big Boomer Daddy Luci! Thank you so much for my matchup! I’m all warm and fuzzy inside now.

See mom I know how to write a thank you note

(Part 1) I only use Tumblr to lurk and I've never done an ask before, so I hope this comes through ok! You're an angel (devil?) for doing matchups, so I thought I'd humbly request one! I'm Nikki, and I'm an old lady by fandom standards. I grew up in the deep South US (NC and New Orleans), and lived in Italy for a while. I wanted to be a linguist when I was younger, and I still love learning foreign languages. I have a degree in French (cont in pt 2)

(part 2) and I'm now a lawyer, because academics don't pay the bills. I work with child abuse victims, which is rewarding. I love to travel, but I can't much because a) I got court to go to and b) I also love animals, and it's hard to find someone who will take care of dogs, guinea pigs, and reptiles all at once. I'm sarcastic, kind of flippant as a defense mechanism. I'm usually the funny friend, but I get sassy when I'm on the whiskey (cont in pt 3) (part 3!) I'm a big fan of nonfiction books, especially about science and history, and historical dramas on Netflix. I love Netflix and chill with my partner, but I am pretty independent, so I like spending time alone traveling, taking care of critters, or working out. My love language is acts of service, so I show I care by cleaning the house or running errands for my man/lady. (last part incoming!) (last part!) My partner needs to be independent, with a dark sense of humor, who doesn't mind me venting about the grisly and/or weird stuff I see at work. I do like a responsible guy, 'cause I don't wanna be your mama and your gf at the same time. He should also be accepting of weird backwoods southern-isms, like buying taxidermy, saying "bless your heart", and listening to Dolly Parton and Rebirth Brass Band. Thanks! I love your blog!

Hello love!

Thank you for sending in a request! awwwww i’m glad to be your first! 

I hope you like the result! 

Okay so lets’ see... I’m kind of torn between Lucifer and Barbatos. 

I decided to match you with Lucifer! 

So i’m going to keep it real with you, I think your southern upbringing would add to this relationship a lot. First I thought it’s super risky to do this but let’s go anyway. I mean I don’t really want to bring religion into this, but we all know their background in the game. 

Lucifer would be very wary with anyone coming from a highly religious area, but sooner or later he would learn about your own perspectives. (since you play the game I assumed you’re not the stereotype being an English major taught me)

It would take him quite some time to share his views with you in depth, honestly you have a better chance at getting anyone else to open up about their past than him. But I think once you get someone else to do it and now you already know briefly whats up, he would just tell you himself. After all he takes buliding a relationship seriously once he is truly interested in someone.

I think your academic career and the fact that you are a lawyer would impress him and after he learns this about you, his respect for you will grow. Which is very important when it comes to Lucifer.

Lucifer had quite a lot of centuries to pick up languages. Although he isn’t speaking them all either (i mean he is a demon how many languages would he really need), he sees the value of being a multilingual human. Just to test you, he would sometimes switch between them.

It is canon that he is supposed to be outgoing as well, were it not for his very limited amount of free time. So he definitely understands your struggles to get away, as he is the most responsible demon in the household. Once in a blue moon he would probably get to have a couple of days off with you though. I’m sure he knows people who’d take care of your animals for a few days. (probably not one of his brothers though.) 

He appreciates a sarcastic s/o as he can be a bit sarcastic as well. Your flippant nature will only turn him on, especially since you are also responsible so flippant attitudes coming from you hit differently. 

Drinking with him is something you probably wouldn’t be able to avoid. I’m sure he would enjoy your sassy nature, he is one of the best at handling that so don’t worry about conflicts.

 I’m sure he would be able to talk in detail about historical events as he was there when it was all written. So this would be a common topic of conversation! in a healthy relationship good conversations are a must, so you two got that down as well. None of you is bored! Also I don’t really see him reading fiction tbh, so you are on the same page. 

Netflix and chill is up on his priority list as well, so again no trouble on either side.  

Lucifer in canon can fall in love with whoever it happens with, but an independent partner makes his life easier. By this I mean that he is usually busy so his partner would be very disappointed if they expected him to entertain them for many hours a day. Sure, he does make time for you so you don’t feel neglected as he wants to be a good partner. At the end of the day he is in love. 

He would definitely appreciate your love language! He always needs a helping hand, although he is usually too full of pride to actually ask for help with big things. So basically you’d probably get to do the easy stuff. 

His love language is affection so hopefully you are prepared for lots of private times! 

Also love language is just something you have to talk about with him, I think for his beloved he is willing to do things he normally wouldn’t. like you need a new dress?? want to hold hands in public?? want some reassurement?? gotcha (ok with some of these he might struggle but he tries so we gotta give him that)

I think he fits into everything you described your wish for a partner. he is mature and respnsible, and don’t worry he has heard and seen some stuff your stories would be hard to compare. 

so he has his own sense of decoration and if you look into his room, some taxidermy is just fine... 👀

hmmm idk about “bless” in his case because of reasons mentioned above but thats a conversation he will have with you

 He is also very keen on music, so thats also a topic to discuss. he is probably more into classicals, but he just wants to learn more about his partner to be able to fully love and understand them. so if it means listening to Dolly Parton, then so be it. 

A sexy college professor.

Why yes, we can study anatomy all day, daddy.

i see no difference.