Can You Imagine How Much Fun It Would Be To Take A Baseball Bat To A Giant Fucking Sea Cucumber And Just

Y’all can go sit in the corner with my husband who used to steal my lighter and now steals my juul AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

(jk my forgiveness can be bought in those cute bic lighters with pigs on them)

I'm that annoying friend that steals everyone's lightners too!! *insert spiderman pointing to other spiderman meme here*

YAAAAAY LIGHTER THIEF FRIEND!! 😂💖

You have no idea how much I want to do this when opposing counsel calls me to bitch.

OC: “Well really Facebook isn’t supposed to tell the government when their users upload child exploitation material so I’m going to file a motion to suppress-”

Me: BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKER

This reminds me of that National Geographic article that said, statistically, everyone of European heritage alive today is a descendant of Charlemagne. That is, everyone alive in Europe in the ninth century who had children is related to everyone of European extraction today (including Charlemagne’s unfortunately named kinfolk Drogo and Pippin). So, mathematically, if Lilith lived eons ago, basically every human is related to her in some fashion, and probably a good fraction of humans would be her direct descendants. So…

WE ARE ALL MC!

Not a request, just curious about something. Idk if I should say spoilers or not but just in case, spoilers. I just started playing but I know that MC is Lilith's decendant but doesn't that mean Lilith had kids and those kids had kids? Wouldn't it make more sense to say that MC is Lilith's reincarnation or am I just reading things wrong here?

NOOOOO

MC is NOT Lilith's reincarnation.

Lilith got reincarnated as a human EONS ago and had kids and those kids had kids and then those kids had kids, etc...

We are, as MC, a descendent of Lilith. Like. A million and then some Generations down

Hope that helped

I feel like I need to bring this post to my therapist so we can work out why I am solely attracted to moody daddies.

Oh no, they’d get along perfectly. If anything, Lucifer comes to him for advice.

Lucifer: I like someone what should I do?

Jumin: Hmm, have you considered locking them away? A cage would be preferred—

Lucifer: *taking notes* ...And of course, I don’t embrace my feelings. I let this emotion fester and die.

Jumin: *nods* Obviously.

oh god, they bond over wine and music and then bounce ideas off of each other on how to deal with emotions without actually dealing with them 💀

If Elliot Page isn’t Sexiest Man Alive 2021 I will cut a bitch.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

If you claim to hate cats and can’t stand them but as soon as you see one you go “pssst pssst here kitty boo boo who’s a baby?”

You are not controlling.

You are just my dad.

(will you send me some money?)

hey so, as a man who works with other men, here’s a quick relationship tip: if he doesn’t much like cats, that might be just a personal preference. if he hates cats, if he tells you he hates cats as soon as he hears that you have a cat and love your cat, he’s an asshole. he’s telling on himself.  

every guy i’ve ever worked with that makes a point of telling me how much he hates cats as soon as i mention that i have a cat and love my cat, is always someone who is regularly cruel for fun and who laughs in the breakroom about the mean things they do for fun to their girlfriends and children. 

Reblogging for the important questions:

Why do you look so good in dark lipstick when I always look like a drunk goth teenager, it is not fair.

If I could grow a moustache, would I ever leave the house in anything but that handlebar do? (the answer is no)

I feel like I have a lot of privilege being afab and genderfluid, because that’s sort of accepted as being tomboyish or gamine. I love seeing more people break out of gender roles and rocking their authentic selves.

Website I Twitter I Patreon

Once again, thank you everyone for reading, enjoying, and sharing this comic.  Not just sharing in the sense of re-posting this comic, (which you should totally do) but also sharing your stories with me, letting my know how my comics have touched you.  It means so much to me.  Love ya! Stay tuned for more comics! <3

When you’re riddled with anxiety over living in another four years of a fascist hellscape and you’re still hungover from drinking an entire bottle of Wild Turkey during election night coverage and you had to be hungover in court and the judge thought you were a monumental dumbass

BUT

THERE’S A PROPOSAL POP QUIZ

AND I GOT THE SATAN SSR

Literally what happens every time my dog sees himself in the mirror.

MIRROR DOG WON’T PLAY WTF

Mammon: [screaming]

MC: What happened?

Asmo: I don't know, I think he saw himself in the mirror

Mammon: ASMO THERE'S ANOTHER ME ON THE WALL

Asmo: It's okay Mammon. Just introduce yourself, I'm sure he's nice!

I really like this art style a lot. It seems, I dunno, Symbolist in execution?

And yes I will go shopping for heels with my Luci.

a concept i’d like you to consider: lucifer in his normal outfit, but with heels.