This Message Is For The Late Night Scrollers, The Ones Who Prowl Tumblr Late At Night For An Escape.

You have no idea how much I want to do this when opposing counsel calls me to bitch.

OC: “Well really Facebook isn’t supposed to tell the government when their users upload child exploitation material so I’m going to file a motion to suppress-”

Me: BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKER

Me encanta!

If I could draw I’d do Obey Me x my birthplace in Appalachia. Which would be camo pants and a black tank top from Walmart with Tweety Bird and the slogan “Hot Bitch” bedazzled on the front. Also the twins would be fistfighting Mammon for trying to tip a cow, and Asmo would be on one of those portable stripper poles you can attach to the hitch of a truck. Lightweight Satan would be passed out from attempting to drink moonshine. Levi would be failing at Duck Hunt, and Lucifer is just cleaning his gun, muttering under his breath.

Someone please do this. I’m very glad not to live there anymore, but I have a big ole soft spot for glorious, unpretentious trash.

I was born in Ayacucho, this is the clothes that people use in carnivals in Ayacucho.

This is Obey me x Ayacucho's carnivals? Idk! But i love the clothes of my birthplace!

I cannot have children because I envisage the following conversation between myself and their teacher:

Teacher: Little Zeke called Little Polly a “goatfucking twatface” today, do you know where they learned that?

Me: Well, was the bitch playing like a goatfucking twatface? I don’t know what your fucking problem is.

if my son is stealing pies off windowsills its because i taught him to do that bitch 

Reblogging for the important questions:

Why do you look so good in dark lipstick when I always look like a drunk goth teenager, it is not fair.

If I could grow a moustache, would I ever leave the house in anything but that handlebar do? (the answer is no)

I feel like I have a lot of privilege being afab and genderfluid, because that’s sort of accepted as being tomboyish or gamine. I love seeing more people break out of gender roles and rocking their authentic selves.

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Once again, thank you everyone for reading, enjoying, and sharing this comic.  Not just sharing in the sense of re-posting this comic, (which you should totally do) but also sharing your stories with me, letting my know how my comics have touched you.  It means so much to me.  Love ya! Stay tuned for more comics! <3

Hello fellow linguist! What do you think Demonic would look/sound like? I imagine it’s some kind of Greek/Latin/Aramaic bastard child. Maybe it’s the language of the Voynich Manuscript?

Let’s. Make. This. Happen.

My biggest issue with Obey Me is that there is supposedly a full alphabet for the Devildom (and quite possibly a language by extension) and it is mentioned like. Once.

I would absolutely love to see exchanges like:

Mammon: Hey, MC, can you pass me that?

MC: Pass what?

Mammon: You know the... the dry sauce!

MC: ???

Mammon: UGH stupid human language. The [D̴̞͂ȩ̶̐m̵̰̝̼̾ơ̶̢̰̜̿̇̓n̴̪͂͌͒i̸̥̰͇̹͑̏c̸̲͚̉͋ ̵̹̈́ś̵͙͚͓͗̃̍c̴̼̊̇͐̕r̴̺̳̆͠e̶̺̬̜̪̎e̵͇̱͕͛̓͘č̶͈h̶̬̬͐͑̔i̷͇̒̃̕n̷̯̄g̷̻̍̄́́]

MC:

Asmo: Oh, he means the salt

Mammon: YES, THANK YOU

I went mosque-hopping while in Cairo (years ago, because I am An Old) and they are every bit as awe-inspiring as the cathedrals of Western Europe.

Bonus: the kids loved running up to me and touching my hair, because it was red and Euro-looking, and also they wanted to practice English and it was fucking adorable, and that never happened to me in Italy or France so...

And they give you disposable shoe covers and hajibs if you happen not to be a Muslim and wear your hair out, which I thought was neat. I’ve never been treated better at a place of worship - that was also true when I went to a mosque in Greenville, South Carolina, people were so kind and welcoming and happy to talk to someone who just wanted to hear about a different religion. On my religious journey I did have a dude at a church in Rome try to convince me to become a nun, but that felt...uh, different. Lol.

I am always awed by the diversity of human interaction with the divine. I’m an atheist myself, but religion is just so damn beautiful. Much love to all my brothers and sisters of all faiths.

Nobody ever talk to me about the catholics going off with stained glass again because not one window of jesus has ANYTHING on the Nasir al-Mulk Mosque

Click through this link i’m losing my mind its gorgeous

I can info dump you for DAYS mostly about the weirdest shit I can find online, and also my fantasy Supreme Court betting pool (shut up it’s cool I’m not a nerd) so be careful what you ask for.

Anybody who lives in the Southern US probably has seen those Chick Tracts, the comics you find left in gas station bathrooms and liquor stores that tell you how Dungeons and Dragons/Catholics/Muslims/THE GAYS are secretly demonic forces that want to send you to hell forever.

I would pay an unholy amount of money for Jack Chick to return to life, learn that there are people playing a game about dating Lucifer himself, draw a cartoon pamphlet about how evil this all is, and die again of a rage-induced brain bleed.

Then I would use it to make a paper-mache statue of Asmo touching himself.

Or, like, some paper roses, whatever.

So I saw a video on YouTube recently where it was a DIY paper rose. I think it was 5 min crafts but don't quote me on that (I didn't click the video).

But BUT

It got me thinking about an MC who's mad at one of the OM brothers. But of course they still love said brother. Which leads to this:

MC: I made you a paper rose

Brother: Oh, thank y-

MC: It's made out of Bible Paper

Or, alternatively:

MC: It's made out of a pamphlet I got from a church telling me how to rid myself of demons

A sexy college professor.

Why yes, we can study anatomy all day, daddy.

i see no difference.

Why was I a French major and not a Japanese major?

I AM CRYING

"Introducing the eldest brother Lucifer"

By Official Obey Me! (Illustrated by @/Knmc21da)

Translated version by @/SOLOM0AN on Twitter

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It looks like they'll be doing these manga page panels for the Japanese release! How fun! :3