I Went Mosque-hopping While In Cairo (years Ago, Because I Am An Old) And They Are Every Bit As Awe-inspiring

Oh no, honey, this is BLESSED.

I’m taking him home and we’re going to play Fire Emblem until we murder each other over whether we’re team Black Eagles or Golden Deer (Black Eagles come fight me)

@automatictastemakertheorist asked if I could make the boys as rats and I tried, but when I finished Levi- I just gave up because it's so cursed to me 🤣

Lucifer is Jumin Han, but with the superior pet species, and that’s why I love him.

Who doesn’t love a guy who loves dogs? Lucifer with a puppy Cerberus anyone? Yes? Yes.

I’m sure that there is a demon somewhere who is the Avatar of Florida Man, and he is smiling at this post from hell.

Also, the guy who ran the McMillions scam, Jerry Colombo, literally opened a “Church of the Fuzzy Bunny” in South Carolina which was literally a strip club, so Asmodeus clearly has a simp here on earth (which he apparently shares with Mammon, since Colombo loved him a scam).

om! boys as florida man headlines

now datables + luke here

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Okay when we give Mammon the Valentine’s chocolates and he’s like, “you aren’t gonna say something hurtful now, right? Like, pass these on to Levi for me?”

I. DIED.

Baby I could never -

MC: I love you.

Mammon: ... You promise?

Also MFW I send a brief to my supervisor and get back an all-caps email saying “I TOLD YOU TO STOP PUTTING COMMAS OUTSIDE THE QUOTATION MARKS DON’T DO THAT AGAIN”

Me, seeing fucking spelling errors in my shit that has already been reblogged:

🤣 Honestly. Its always basic shit to. I type too fast.

If the Lord is testing me, I have failed.

And I’m 100% okay with going to hell to see some hot demon boys.

TFW the month dedicated for “no simping” is the month in which your favorite character was born

You can pry my Picrew out of my cold dead hands.

Cold.

Dead.

Hands.

(Picrew me has had enough of your bullshit)

i know people are calling picrews cringe and all but i can not hate the simple joy of making and dressing up a little cartoon person and then looking at it and going “it’s me! :D”

I got it for both PS4 and PC, and the PS4 version is way smoother for some reason. Still love it.

Also I’m really disappointed I don’t get cyber enhanced genitals, at least not to the point I’m at in the game. :(

Gonna be loosing my life to Cyberpunk2077 as soon as it downloads, can't wait 😂🤘🏻 hahaha

Nobody told me 30 year olds were wrinkly and unenergetic. Some people write 30′s like they’re geriatric (not OP, more directed at the anon). Maybe my social circle is just rowdy, but half the fifty-somethings I work with can drink me under the table and get up for a run in the morning while I’m hungover-ly pouring Bailey’s in my coffee.

Also I look better at 34 than I did at 24 (as do a lot of people), because I have a sense of style and enough money to pay for a nice haircut/makeup. Honestly, who let me out of the house dressed like a goth at Woodstock when I was in college?

Which is a lot of words to tell anon not to worry about hitting 30. You’re never too old to be a bad bitch.

How would the brothers react on their (human) mc stressing about getting older? Mc isn’t as adventurous as before and has some wrinkles. Somewhere near 30?

JWSJSJSJ HOLD UP YALL THINK 30 IS OLD ???? DAMN... Man.... I guess half of my followers are basically in the grave, sorry guys. I'll prepare the funerals.

THE BROTHERS to MC worrying about getting older

Lucifer:

For a while, he will just brush your worries off and think its a phase. Maybe he hasn't loved you right lately? He will put a day aside, if not then a few hours, to just thoroughly love you and your changing body. It's in this time that you can get him to fully understand your worries. He'll take your hand and kiss it, reminding you that that's just part of being human and no matter how old you get, he will still cherish you.

Mammon:

He noticed, of course. The slight change in your appearance over the years and how you seem less energetic. He won't tell you but he's been thinking about the inevitable and although he knows it's still long before that, it just becomes more real with your own worries. He'll silently curse your fragile human being and spill his worries out in a heated argument that started over nothing. How dare you be human! That was the cruelest joke of all. He struggles with it too, but maybe you can lift each other up.

Leviathan:

The fact that he even has someone to love like that is amazing and so he avoids thinking about the negative. To him, this is a dream that should never end and when you get worried about that it just reminds him that this isn't a dream and it could end. He'll become whiny and needy, holding you close in fear of you going way too soon. Sure a few wrinkles arent the end, but they're the beginning of the end. He'll be sure to keep you close until then and remind you of why hes with you in the first place.

Satan:

Hes guilty of messing with that a bit. Your lack of energy forced him to use some "energy boost" spells and he is quick to offer something against the wrinkles too. Theres nothing wrong with getting old, he says, but theres something wrong with you getting old. He cant change fate, but he can try to keep you as youthful as possible on the outside with magic, if you want. Regardless, he will love you until you take your last breath. You changed him for the better and the least he can do is keep you filled with love and comfort throughout your life.

Asmodeus:

He starts freaking out FOR you. This is not just beauty gone wrong. This isn't just something you can fix with concealer. This is real. And it reminds him on how very mortal you are. He might shut down and avoid the topic at all costs. If he doesn't notice it, its not real, right? But he knows he has to accept it at some point. He just isn't ready to yet. So please, MC, take the creams he gives you and cherish every little bit of energy you have. Make him feel better while he tries to make you feel better.

Beelzebub:

Hes actually so calm about it at first. He holds you and tells you thats just life, that you're still beautiful to him and that he could still eat you up no matter what. But slowly.... As he lays awake at night through another hunger session, he realizes that time truly is really short and you have maybe 60 more years at best, 30 more at worst. Time runs different through him. Time is irrelevant to him. Having to think about this makes him anxious and he doesnt like it. Is there nothing he can do but to make you feel comfortable?

Belphegor:

Your worries will be ridiculed for a time because much like his twin, he thinks you still have so much time, right? But soon he'll lay awake at night and look at your sleeping form. You have changed.... Grown older.... And that's scary. Is he just supposed to lose you like he lost Lilith? He'll be angry with himself and his father for you being human, knowing thats not really your fault. He'll remind you every day how much you make him feel. And hopes that you feel him too. Don't worry about the details, he'll hold you anyway.

My husband is mortified that I wear my dressing gown to take the dogs to poop in the mornings. I have only this to say: if you see my butt when I’m scooping poop, you. are. welcome.

Had to go out and save my cat (from another cat) at 5am this morning wearing my dressing gown, and my neighbour may or may not have seen my butt.

How was your morning?