• An Oxford Comma Walks Into A Bar, Where It Spends The Evening Watching The Television, Getting Drunk,

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

More Posts from Autumnal-hues and Others

1 year ago

Rewatching Taare Zameen Par, bawling my eyes out, being totally mentally wrecked etc etc. Nice cycle this.


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11 months ago
❝i Never Imagined My Career Would Turn Out The Way It Has. After All, I'm Just A Kid From Rosario Who
❝i Never Imagined My Career Would Turn Out The Way It Has. After All, I'm Just A Kid From Rosario Who
❝i Never Imagined My Career Would Turn Out The Way It Has. After All, I'm Just A Kid From Rosario Who

❝i never imagined my career would turn out the way it has. after all, i'm just a kid from rosario who loves to play football.❞

happy birthday to world cup winner, lionel messi ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊⊹

10 months ago

Seeing a negative review of a book I hate: my beloved brother in arms, the smartest and most beautiful person in the room, we are staring into each other's eyes and there is a place in my heart just for you. nobody understands you like I do

Seeing a negative review of a book I love: I spit on you. You are intellectually and morally beneath me. Clearly you didn't understand the book because you're thick in the head. May moths eat your garments.

9 months ago

every year someone on this hellsite invents a new way to dehumanize and trivialize people who do not believe in religion or supernatural things and then it gets hundreds of notes its sooo amazing lmao


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10 months ago

I wish I could describe how this book made me feel. It’s almost astronomical, the array of emotions and feelings that emerged straight from the soul as I flipped each page. The detail, the love, the uncertainty - to describe it with the fewest words, it’s magnificently unpredictable.

The characters, each one of them, inscribed something deep within my spirit. The love and bonding between Marie-Laure and her father, Etienne and his demons, and Werner and his sister, Frederick and his birds, and his powerful resentment towards something wrong - his power. Madam Manec with her peach jams and the big pot where she carried all the love. The big museum with its exhibits, all those herbarium sheets and fossils, and the curse of a diamond that was equivalent to eight Eiffel Towers that should've been thrown out into the deep trenches of the oceans long ago, but only an insane would throw eight Eiffel Towers into the unknown. Papa, with his crafty hands, built the whole of Paris with his bare hands. Marie-Laure is so unaware of what everything around her looks like, yet she hears the very minor details. Jutta, the little girl who had a mind of her own, who had words of her own, and her elder brother, who was nothing by himself, who really lived under the shadows of others, had a heart so weak to resent, too weak to fight, that the heart decided to do what everyone else was doing - a heart scared of rebellion. Frau Elena served the abandoned children till her very last breath, showering those nameless breathing corpses with so much love. Von Rumpel and his war - his war with the world, his quest to find the cursed diamond, his greed, his unfathomable hatred, his desire and passion for war and victory, his dying body, his quest for immortality that the diamond is rumored to confer on anyone who possesses it, his selfish greed, his undying fear of the unknown,and, his trembling fear of death.

The depths that this particular book touched are unmatchable. It feels like loose sand slipping through your fingers, and the helplessness that comes with it - the haunting beauty of the magnificent pain of separation, of lost identities, and of lost people. It’s remarkable. Anthony Doerr, you are a genius.

9 months ago

Growing up in a dysfunctional joint family really f*cks you up in ways that leave you scarred forever.


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4 years ago

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

10 months ago
Fatima Aamer Bilal, Excerpt From Moony Moonless Sky’s ‘i Am An Observer, But Not By Choice.’

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]

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autumnal-hues - Books and coffee cups
Books and coffee cups

She/her | 20 | Mostly failing to "hold my balance on this spinning crust of soil."

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