If You, For Some Reason, Still Have A Subscription To The Atlantic, Cancel It

Rohit Gurunath Sharma has always deserved the world. Can't express how heartening it is to see him getting showered in all the love.

In another universe, my mom doesn’t get married off into this mockery of a family. Her youth doesn’t get over even before she has the chance to feel it. Her ankles aren’t bound by chains. I’m never born. She is free. She is happy.

1) Mother and daughter Art Print by Natalia Tejera // 2) Pinterest // 3) Michal Pudelka // 4) Emma Neill // 5 - 9) Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin

Seeing a negative review of a book I hate: my beloved brother in arms, the smartest and most beautiful person in the room, we are staring into each other's eyes and there is a place in my heart just for you. nobody understands you like I do

Seeing a negative review of a book I love: I spit on you. You are intellectually and morally beneath me. Clearly you didn't understand the book because you're thick in the head. May moths eat your garments.

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

In another universe, you are seven and sitting on the staircase, rereading your favourite fairytale. It’s winter and the soft sunlight streams through the window at just the right angle. You’ve never left your childhood home. 

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

“How are you?” Oh I’m fine just thinking about Don McLean’s American Pie. And Don McLean’s Vincent. And Don McLean’s Sister Fatima. And Don McLean’s Winterwood. And Don McLean’s Wonderful Baby. And Don McLean’s Crying in the Chapel. And Do

being a only child is like. I'm the eldest. I'm the responsible one. I need to live up to their expectations. I'm their baby. I know everything. I don't know anything that matters. I'm their golden child. I'm their biggest disappointment. I'm nothing like my parents. I'm the worst version of my parents. I'm the exact copy of my parents. I miss them. I can't stand being on the same house for more than a week. They love me. They regret me. I get everything they can offer. I get their whole attention. I can't do anything wrong. I can't fail. I inherited every flaw they have. I'm a mistake. If they fight it's my fault. Everything is my fault. I'm not that important. I'm everything for them. They don't need me the way I need them. They raised me and now they expect me to be somebody else different from them. I'm nothing without them. I'm my own person. I can be everything I want to be. I can't cross their beliefs. When they die I'll be alone. I have been alone since I was born.