Autumn Love

" I would've loved you forever if you had only let me."

-H.Asteid

15 more seconds before midnight

I'm sitting here, staring at my phone

Thinking how to hit your phone up

Should I text you or hit the caller icon?

It's been a year since we last talked

Today, it's like my mind keeps drifting back into the memories you engraved in my heart a year ago

The Good morning texts

The later night conversations

How often we quarrel over what "we" really are

The time you told me

" I love you but I can't keep your heart."

It shattered me.

You were scared just as I was

But I never gave up on us

Sent you sonnets everyday

Sang you lullabies at night

Showed you my scars

For you, I turned myself inside out.

Still, my everything wasn't enough.

You came with the smile of October then left me alone with the gloomy November.

You left.

You left without a goodbye.

I tried to run after you in the dark

I called your name several times

On my knees, I fell to the ground

You're already gone

You're already gone.

15 more seconds before midnight

With tears in my eyes,

I put my phone down

And whispered into the void

" Happy birthday, I'm letting you go now."

-H.Asteid ,10-22

"Trust me on this. After a millisecond in the middle of the highway or free falling in midair or after kicking the chair or when your lungs are already filled with water, only then will you realize that death isn't what you wanted, that you just want to be genuinely happy again. But it would be too late. It would all be too late."

-H.Asteid

" What made you so afraid of people getting too close?"

-H.Asteid

"Why would you want to be with someone who only love you sometimes?"

-H.Asteid

"I hope every love poem written is true

The rhymes, the delicate and intimate words, the metaphors

I hope that when a boy tells you that you drive him crazy

or that he constantly thinks of you,

It's true."

-H.Asteid

"And if you're going to lose me, I'm going to make it so hauntingly beautiful you'll remember every second of it."

-H.Asteid

A Winter Tragedy

Amidst the tragedy of it all, the snow fell over our darkest sins, in haunting words I confess to my psychiatrist.   I was as pure as the winter snow, beautiful and cold, a masterpiece he desired but now I am merely a ghost. Trapped beneath the floorboards that bellow and breathe, behind locked doors listening to demons he talks to in his sleep.

© October, 2020  Kathlene

" You still have a lifetime to be who you really wanna be."

-H.Asteid