Chosen: It's April Fools Day.

Cop: What do you call disobeying the law?

Dark: A hobby.

Chosen: *stares pointedly at Dark*

Dark: That we do not engage in.

Dark: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

Dark: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life. Chosen and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Chosen.

Red: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Red: And I started thinking.

Red: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Red: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Green: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Yellow: Actually Green, it’s salt.

Green: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Yellow: Uh Green, that would be salt.

Yellow: *takes salt packer from Green* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

Chosen: There's no way they like me back.

Yellow: Dark would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Chosen: Dark would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

Purple: Valentine's Day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart-shaped chocolates for their significant oth-

Green: I wrote you a song.

Purple, already crying: You did?

Second: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Dark: Please, just say fuck.

Second: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Gang: Awwww-

Second: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Gang: Oh.

Dark: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?!

Red: We don’t do anything with dignity!