Hello My Hand Is Gonna Fall Off

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Abu Shammalah Family (€953/100,000)

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Alia's Family (€7,870/30,000)

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Maliha Family (€23,446/32,000)

Mahmoud Abu Hamam (CAD $5,348/10,000)

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Ezzideen & his Family (€26,314/75,000)

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Let's do our part to help the people of Gaza!!!!

Lucy in Chapter 118: an Analysis 🫧

Hooo boy

Chapter one-eighteen. Where do I even 𝓫𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷?

Unlike a lot of folks in this fandom (all more imaginative than I could ever hope to be), I had basically no solid predictions for this chapter (or… any chapter thus far, really, and I've been following the manga religiously since 103, so… yeah, there's a reason I'm a BSD analyst, not theorist, lmao). Needless to say, 118 is heartbreak and bombshells galore: Tanizaki and Kenji’s Ame-no-Gozen-ing, the possibility that all of those “Jun'ichirō and Naomi aren't really siblings” theories were just proven dead right, the protagonist and main villain finally meeting because it's about damn time – so on and so forth.

But because a) the fanbase is already abuzz with talk about those things + no doubt in the process of doing them analytical justice, and b) I'm annoying, I’ve decided to dissect the ever-loving hell out of the chapter’s three most innocuous pages: this interaction between Kyōka Izumi and Lucy Maud Montgomery.

Inhales

MY GIRLS ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) 

Does a little jig 🎶

Sorry, had to get that out of my system

No, but seriously. Kyōka has been absent since chapter 91. Three whole years; definitely too long for a character of her importance. Lucy, meanwhile, has been out of the picture since chapter 81. That’s four whole years. So in other words, two significant female characters, sidelined for ages, are back. That’s kind of huge, IMO.

Of course, we have a vague idea of what they’ve been up to. Anne's Room has been shown more than once serving as the ADA’s safe haven and base of operations, and so per the rules of AOAR, Lucy must be nearby if not inside herself. Kyōka we see in silhouette form in Anne's Room in chapter 92. But this is the first time in a hot minute we've seen either of them in the flesh, let alone gotten dialogue out of them. I nearly choked on my cereal when I turned the page and saw their faces, lol.

So then, pray tell, what does this long-awaited appearance in the flesh entail? Well…

Lucy and Kyōka:

Right off the bat, Lucy and Kyōka are seen in Anne’s Room (where they’ve ostensibly been this entire time), standing in front of the Exit Door (i.e., the door opposite the prison, which – unless linked to a surface in the real world – will cause those who leave through it to experience amnesia. Not relevant to the scene, just thought I’d give a quick refresher.) The exit is blocked by rubble; the airport, as well as the surrounding buildings, have all been devastated. How to leave Anne's Room at this point is anyone’s guess.

Kyōka suggests Lucy deactivate her ability, but Lucy shuts her down, pointing out that they'll be flattened by rubble if she does. In response, Kyōka does her signature knife-unsheathing and insists, rather ominously, that they'll just have to take a gamble then. Lucy grabs her wrist and tells her to stop, and when Kyōka asks her why, she replies solemnly: “Because… if you died… it would crush him,” this followed by a picture of Atsushi’s smiling face.

YES. YES. YES.

Now THIS is what I love about Lucy and Kyōka’s dynamic. 

In essence, they're rivals. Thing is, they're not your generic “two girls fighting over the same guy” rivals. Kyōka’s feelings toward Atsushi aren’t even romantically-coded. Their shared love for Atsushi doesn’t divide them; it unites them. After all, following the Guild Aftermath arc, the “rivalry” aspect of their relationship has had almost nothing to do with him, instead revolving around their clashing personalities.

There, they were only at each other’s throats because Kyōka didn’t like how Lucy, still angry about the Moby Dick, was treating Atsushi, and Lucy didn’t like how Kyōka was standing in the way of her talking things through with him. But once a much-needed heart-to-heart was had between Atsushi and Lucy and the latter turned over a new leaf, there was no longer any reason for her and Kyōka to bicker. Kyōka didn’t have the full context of Lucy’s actions, and was thus within her rights to assume she couldn’t be trusted, but Lucy proved that she could be when she led them to the right boat.

Later on, Lucy showcased that she didn't resent Kyōka when she advocated for her, forcing Atsushi to leave her to her thoughts upon learning the truth of her parents' deaths.

The next chapter, Kyōka calls Lucy’s coffee mediocre, but Lucy herself admits that she isn’t much of a barista, and so the comment is more Kyōka not mincing words than actively trying to be rude. Moreover, Lucy is offended at first, but then concedes without any real hostility.

In the Cannibalism arc, Kyōka is shown bowing politely to Lucy while enlisting her help, even if she is just following Atsushi's lead (and later does the same for Mushitarō).

Fast forward to the Sky Casino arc, Kyōka is miffed by Lucy’s hot-and-cold behavior around Atsushi, but that’s not exactly unique to her...

... and besides, they agree without resistance to work together. In chapter 81 (i.e., the last we saw of Lucy until now), the Agency reunites and Lucy encourages Kyōka to join in on the celebration. Perhaps most notable is chapter 78, wherein the two are lumped into the same category by Ango. He recognizes them both as people who would choose Atsushi over the good of the world, and this nearly drives him to kill them on the spot for fear of what their loyalty could turn into.

In this latest chapter, however, it’s underscored that, while Lucy and Kyōka may be the same in their care for Atsushi on the surface, they’re still – at the end of the day – foil characters. 

Both are orphans. Both were taken in – and subsequently exploited – by criminal organizations for their abilities. Both found their place in the story by virtue of meeting Atsushi. Both are undyingly loyal to Atsushi because of what he’s done for them. That’s about where their similarities end.

Kyōka was introduced as a remorseful killer seeking atonement by death. Atsushi managed to save her (twice, for that matter) in the conventional hero way, cementing himself as her savior and playing into the reckless heroism by which he determines his worth.

Lucy, on the other hand, was introduced as a bitter villain who believed she was justified in lashing out. Atsushi tried, but he couldn’t save her in the conventional hero way. Only his vulnerability managed to get through to her, and if anything, Lucy saved him. This utterly subverted the unhealthy philosophy by which Atsushi had begun to define both himself and his relationships.

Since then, Lucy has been trying at every turn to get Atsushi to see himself as more than just a hero. She reprimands him for his reckless heroism when she sees it. She stops him from inserting himself into other people’s plights uninvited. She confronts him when he fails to understand his relationships beyond the framework of hero and savior. Kyōka, meanwhile, has been doing more or less the opposite: she’s passively allowed Atsushi to keep playing the perpetual hero, and this wouldn’t be the first time she’s taken on his credo of self-sacrifice herself.

All of this in mind, the girls’ thought processes in this chapter are perfectly in line for them: Kyōka tries to push forward without care for what could happen to her, whereas Lucy emphasizes self-preservation.

One might perceive Lucy replying the way she does to Kyōka’s question as callous, but I don’t really think so. She isn’t saying “the only reason you shouldn’t risk your life is because it would make Atsushi sad." She’s applying her philosophy of person > hero to Atsushi and Kyōka both at the same time. She's encouraging Kyōka to be more than just a hero by telling her to think of how it would affect Atsushi as a person if she died.

If Lucy is good at anything, it’s communicating what she wants from people in a way that she knows will get through to them. She did this with Atsushi on the Moby Dick when she bluffed about waiting on his salvation, knowing he would be more motivated to stay alive himself if he thought there was someone counting on him to save them. The same applies in this scenario. She communicates with Kyōka in a way that highlights the reason they get along; the reason they’re both here in the first place. And if the way Kyōka re-sheathes her knife without a word is any indication, it works.

Lucy knows that she and Atsushi are close, but she knows that Kyōka and Atsushi are closer. Losing her would be the last straw for him. She recognizes their relationship as something beyond hero and savior – something precious. This is nothing out-of-character for her; on the contrary, it’s in keeping with who she’s been all along. All that’s different now is she’s acknowledging it out loud.

Lucy and Atsushi:

When Lucy pictures Atsushi in her mind’s eye, she sees the spirit that would undoubtedly be broken if he were to lose Kyōka. This in and of itself is heartbreaking, but when you consider the greater implications, well…

In the Sky Casino arc, a huge breakthrough was made in Atsushi and Lucy’s relationship. Her elusive “impossible” debt to him was finally repaid, though not in the way you'd expect.

At the time, all Lucy felt she could give in return for Atsushi’s turning her life around was conventional heroism – or in other words, many a close call and many a trip to Anne’s Room. This conventional heroism was a worthless currency in her mind; it wasn’t the kind that saved her, after all. But on the other hand, the vulnerability she so valued in its stead she wasn’t capable of giving; where she came from, being vulnerable was a death sentence, after all.

Because of this, how she could ever come close to repaying Atsushi’s ultimate favor was a mystery unto itself. All she knew was that she had to do it one way or another, and that’s where her most glaring flaw – her quid-pro-quo mindset – came into play, eventually driving her so far as to override her own philosophy and embody the reckless hero she so discouraged Atsushi from being.

But when Atsushi saved her from Nathaniel – thereby repaying her for her acts of service as he’d promised so many times he would – she realized that, just as her care for Atsushi doesn’t depend on his being a hero, Atsushi's care for her doesn’t depend on her being vulnerable. The illusion was shattered.

From this point forward, Lucy is no longer helping Atsushi out of a sense of indebtedness. She's doing it because she wants to – because she genuinely cares. Not the artificial care that comes with repaying a debt, but the kind she showcases when she stays by Atsushi’s side after he faints, pressing a cold towel to his face. The kind that involves refusing to hurt Atsushi in any way, even to jog potentially vital memories.

Lucy considering what Kyōka’s death would do to Atsushi’s psyche is a perfect continuation of this new leaf she’s turned over, but it also goes to show that her shared arc with Atsushi is far from finished.

Lucy’s development has always been structured rather uniquely. Each arc she’s appeared in has worked either to establish or address her current most glaring flaw, more often than not in unexpected ways. Her appearance in the first half of the Guild arc established her villainous façade as just that – a façade – by having it crumble as she realized the kind of person she was up against in Atsushi. The second half addressed her unhealthy attachment to the Guild by having Atsushi dissuade her from villainy via empathy. The Guild Aftermath arc added the finishing touch to all of this – the last little push needed to propel Lucy into her new role – by addressing her and Atsushi’s “promise” on the Moby Dick. The Cannibalism arc subtly established her quid-pro-quo mindset, which the Sky Casino arc would then go on to address.

Another great subversion of the tropes usually involved in these dynamics is that, despite Lucy being the closest thing to Atsushi’s “love interest,” only he’s managed to bolster her development – not the other way around. This isn’t for lack of trying, of course; Lucy tries. But Atsushi is a tough nut to crack. The fact that she’s still, nearly 15 chapters later, trying to steer Atsushi away from heroism and toward personhood – albeit indirectly – is testament to this.

If she could reach him now, she’d no doubt be trying even still. She’d be conveying to him that none of his friends’ deaths so far has been his fault – that he can’t be expected to carry the burden of hero to all when the world is going to hell in a handbasket. But she can’t reach him. She’s trapped, and so is Kyōka. Thus is the cruel irony.

Anne's Room:

Anne of Abyssal Red has played a key role in pretty much everything plot-related up to this point. To that end, it’s only appropriate that its owner finally appearing alongside it would grant it extra significance.

Lucy’s last line in this chapter is as follows: “So the enemy… even took this into account.” She’s right: Fyodor had countermeasures against her ability. That said, I don’t think this is attributable solely to Fyodor being, well… Fyodor.

AOAR is in the same ballpark narrative-wise as, say, For The Tainted Sorrow in that it’s overpowered to the point of detriment. It’s Lucy’s playground; the product of an imagination run wild due to crippling loneliness. This in and of itself is scary. An ability having rules that malleable is automatically dangerous, as it means that, while its wielder can bend and exploit said rules, so can an enemy. In both major fights Lucy has been a part of, the rules of Anne’s Room being molded to favor her opponent has spelled either victory or loss on her end: Atsushi used the prison room loophole against her, and she indirectly used the transportation loophole against Nathaniel. Hell, her capture by the Guild following her betrayal was thanks to the loophole that, while Anne couldn’t be defeated, she could be restrained.

So basically, for as powerful as AOAR is, underneath that power lies a shaky foundation. Power doesn’t always mean stability, and this is underscored by the fact that, at the end of the day, Anne is only infallible in terms of strength; she could only do so much to alleviate Lucy’s loneliness growing up (which is honestly a pretty clever mirror to her conflict of strength vs. vulnerability with Atsushi).

With Anne’s Room nullified by Fyodor, Lucy has truly nothing at her disposal. She's not physically strong (she’s 165 cm and weighs 44 kg, so… yeah ˙◠˙), and while by no means stupid, she doesn’t say repeatedly in this chapter that she doesn’t know what to do next for no reason. Anne’s Room is all she’s ever had. While at the orphanage, it was her only comfort. While in the Guild, it was her only value. With Atsushi, it was all she had to offer in return for his ultimate favor.

This, I feel, could be the establishing point for the next portion of her arc. She could strive to find a way out of the rubble, working together with Kyōka, and in the process learn to break away from her ability as what defines her role in all of this. One thing's for sure: something has to be done sooner or later – otherwise, they'll starve.

I dunno, maybe that’s wishful thinking given how much is already going on. But either way, I’ll hope against hope that this isn’t some one-off return, because Lucy has proven time and time again that she has a lot to offer to the story, both plot-wise and thematically.

Thanks for reading :)

Our goal was survival, but now survival defines our existence! 🇵🇸🍉

Please don’t rush through this text, read it carefully:

We are living in extremely harsh conditions, where our tent has been severely damaged and no longer provides the necessary protection.

The cost of building a new tent right now is about 1000 euros, and it is an essential shelter for our family, which is suffering from difficult living conditions.

We also face a severe shortage of food, especially basic items like flour, which has now reached 100 euros. Securing daily food would help improve these conditions.

My brother Samer is suffering from the absence of essential medications for stabilizing his health, and their cost is extremely high.

I would like to express my sincere thanks to everyone who has supported my campaign and contributed to alleviating my family’s suffering during these tough times.

The art you see is by the talented artist @ardentblooms , who offers custom commissions in exchange for donations to support my family. Your support means so much to us and shows that art can be a true way to make a difference.

Campaign Link

My campaign is verified by:

@dlxxv-vetted-donations & @a-shade-of-blue vetted

@gazavetters , my number on the list is (#75)

paliliberation, my number on the list is (#171)

Our important links are here

Your support could be a lifeline for our family in these difficult circumstances. 🙏💜

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair: Hi, I'm Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair. Some of my overarching themes are as follows: the power of restoration, the inherent flaws of retributive justice and the idea that no one "deserves" to die for their crimes. I have two entire chapters dedicated to conveying these themes via conflicts and character development; my first two murders are driven either partly or in full by the culprit's retribution-oriented mindset; my antagonist's master plan to play judge, jury and executioner with his classmates is foiled by my deuteragonist sacrificing herself; and my last chapter is literally ALL ABOUT how even BRAINWASHED TERRORISTS deserve a shot at redemption. Any questions?

Danganronpa fans: Cool, so anyway, [insert character here, usually Teruteru, Mahiru, Hiyoko, Mikan or Nagito] DESERVED what they got because [insert reason here]. I jumped for JOY when they died, aren't I so edgy and media literate?

They Took Everything—But Not My Will to Keep Going

💔 Imagine losing everything overnight. That’s what happened to me.

My name is Naser, and war shattered my world. In a single moment, I lost my mother and sister. Our family home was destroyed. My three brothers and I were forced to flee with nothing. No safety, no home, no certainty of what tomorrow would bring.

But even after losing everything, I refuse to lose hope.

🏡 We Still Have Dreams 🔹 I dream of going to university. 🔹 My brother dreams of becoming a doctor. 🔹 Another wants to be an engineer. 🔹 The youngest? He just wants a normal childhood.

The war took our past, but I refuse to let it take our future.

💙 Will You Help Us Rebuild? Your kindness, your support, your voice—can be the reason we get a second chance. Even sharing this post can help.

Chuffed

Help Naser & His Brothers Rebuild Their Future

My name is Naser AbuThaher , and my world has been shattered by war. I lost my beloved mother and sister in an attack that took them away fr

🙏 Thank you for believing in us.

🚫Beware of PayPal links🚫 Scammers steal all the information and images and create a PayPal link.

I only have the campaign link on the Chuffed website.

Chuffed

Help Mahmoud's Family Evacuate Gaza

My name is Mahmoud, and I live in the Shujaiya neighborhood in northern Gaza. I am 21 years old and the oldest of my siblings. We used to li

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #381 )✅️

‼️ its time to help ‼️

🍉 The ceasefire was stopped 🍉

⚠️ don’t ignore my text ⚠️

I am Mahmoud from North Gaza, studying computer engineering. I was working in a programming company during my studies. I got married a day before the war started and I was living in my house with my wife, but because of the war, things changed and I lost my house, my job and my father. 💔

It is very unfortunate and now my family has no breadwinner, so I desperately need your help. My wife is pregnant and we are suffering from famine. My child is my only hope in this world. I am asking you for a small donation so that I can provide food for my pregnant wife, please

✅️UPDATE 17/01/2025✅️

After the ceasefire in Gaza, hope has returned to us once again, giving us the strength to rebuild our lives.

now my wife is five months pregnant. She requires full care, including medications, vitamins, and medical attention.🤰👼

I beg you to help me and save my first child.🫀

My hope is for my child to come into better circumstances than these.

It is incredibly difficult for a child to be born in a tent, in the worst conditions, surrounded by insects and germs.

Please, help me build a new hope for this small family 👨‍👩‍👦

Chuffed

Help Mahmoud's Family Evacuate Gaza

My name is Mahmoud, and I live in the Shujaiya neighborhood in northern Gaza. I am 21 years old and the oldest of my siblings. We used to li

please make a donation 🙏

any amount will make difference to us

$0 Raised Of $30,000

It's with a heavy but hopeful heart that I watch Palestinian families fundraiser on here, slowly accumulating the precious little money to go around that they need to survive. However, not everyone is so lucky. A lot of Palestinians that have not had that kind of luck, that did not get early verification, that did not get massive platforms behind them from large bloggers, have approached me in my inbox, asking me kindly to do what I can for them. It kills me that I have so little to give myself, but I've seen this platform collectively raise enough to change someone's life. I've made a list of Palestinian fundraisers that are extremely low on funds, in the hope that drawing attention to people who have not been lucky at all can help turn that luck around. I know most of us can't possibly give enough to get all of these families safe in one go. But please, reblog this list. Pick one or two fundraisers, give what you can, and then keep track of it. Slowly, collectively, we can make a difference in these people's lives. Share and donate as much as you can. https://docs.google.com/document/d/178EGDFKkHlh3y4TMVX82kqgITHsqtoMdNccI2f_94Os/edit?usp=sharing

Help a disabled family get home

With the announcement of a ceasefire and plans to reopen a safe route back to north Gaza, the Al-Habil family are getting ready to go back home!

But the way ahead is still very difficult. Ibtisam's son Mohammed needs an urgent surgery to try to save his leg, and her daughter Nour needs ongoing medical care and a nutritious diet to live with her heart condition. Ibtisam herself is also still trying to treat severe back pain after a herniated disc.

In addition to all of this, the costs to travel back to their home in the north of Gaza are extremely high. Due to having multiple disabled individuals in their party, traveling by foot is impossible. This means they will have to hire a transport, which will cost thousands. The fact that disabled people are being exploited with such exorbitant prices is disappointing, but there is nothing we can do right now.

To meet the family's needs and arrange safe and accessible transportation, we will need about $6000 USD (about $8,619) CAD. We will raise it increments of $1,000 USD or $1,440 CAD.

Without your support, Ibtisam and her family are stranded in central Gaza, with no way to get home. They still have no income, and likely will not for some time. They should not be forced to remain in displacement, living in limbo on the streets of central Gaza, because of disability.

Please help this family get home!!

Current: $51,925 CAD

Goal: $60,544 CAD

Temporary goal: $53,365 CAD

gofundme.com

Donate to Help a family from Gaza, organized by Yaser Matar

Hello, I am Ibtisam Al-Habil. My suffering began in 2014 when my husband was martyred, and I was … Yaser Matar needs your support for Help

In Defense of Mahiru's Last Words

An aspect of 2-2 that I think a lot of Danganronpa fans get wrong is Mahiru’s last words to Fuyuhiko. I’d go so far as to call them the most misunderstood last words in the series.

Mahiru's role in the second case is often overlooked in favor of Peko and Fuyuhiko's, and this line encapsulates said role, so I figured I'd try to dispel the misconceptions that surround it. Cool? Cool.

---

First thing’s first, my thesis statement (lol): in response to the well-worn criticism that Mahiru’s last words to Fuyuhiko were hypocritical, I’ll grant fans this much: her words were shortsighted and poorly-timed. They weren’t, however, hypocritical.

More often than not when I see people refer to Mahiru’s last words as hypocritical, they mean that she's condemning Fuyuhiko for avenging his sister, meanwhile her friend who committed an act of revenge received her protection. My issue with this? Sato’s murder of Natsumi wasn’t revenge. The third day of Twilight Syndrome Murder Case (which Mahiru played) has Sato explain in depth why she did what she did. She didn’t confront Natsumi with the intent to kill her; she only wanted to talk at first. But when Natsumi began making threats, she saw red and accidentally knocked her out. Knowing how dire the consequences would be if Natsumi woke up and tattled to her family, Sato killed her and pinned the crime on a rumored pervert. This is further highlighted in the trial.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Sato is still to blame here. No matter how much shit Natsumi was talking, she shouldn’t have responded with violence, and she found herself in that situation through every fault of her own. The key thing is that it wasn’t revenge; it was desperation. By the time Natsumi fell unconscious, it was Sato who was trying to avoid becoming the victim of yakuza “justice.”

Recall that the incriminating evidence Mahiru got rid of was a picture of a broken vase. To anyone who wasn’t there the day of the incident, a photo of this nature would prove basically nothing. Sure, one could surmise that it means the killer didn’t actually escape through the window, but figuring out what they did do, and by extension who they are, would require having run into Sato in the hall (given it isn’t brought up at any point, it’s unlikely there was security footage.) It might arouse suspicion, seeing as there were rumors going around that Sato was with Natsumi the day of the latter's murder, but it wouldn't be able to substantiate anything. Either way, the only people who would have any use for it were the police and the yakuza.

Mahiru protecting Sato from the police wouldn't make much sense at all. Blind loyalty toward her friends – to the point of helping them escape consequences for their actions – isn’t a trait she showcases in the main game. There are a few classmates she shows extra care toward (she’s particularly concerned for Mikan, she sticks up for Peko and she offers to help Hiyoko when the latter is struggling with her kimono), sure, but unraveling the mysteries of the killing game takes first priority for her at the end of the day. Moreover, in Twilight Syndrome, before she realizes that Sato is the killer, she takes pictures of Natsumi's body in the hopes that they'll be useful to the police (this obviously isn't the smartest move, but it's in-character: Mahiru is someone who's always trying to do the right thing despite her lack of self-confidence. She feels guilty about agreeing with the other girls not to report Natsumi’s body, and so she figures that utilizing her talent is the next best thing. We see her do something similar in 2-1.) Going from “I need to help the police find the culprit” to “my friend is the culprit; time to destroy the evidence” is a dramatic shift – one that doesn't line up with anything else we know about Mahiru.

What's a trait she does showcase in the main game? Distaste for cruel and unusual punishment. She sympathizes with Teruteru’s motive, heavily implying that Monokuma shouldn't have executed him, and she criticizes Nekomaru and Kazuichi for hogtying and isolating Nagito, before eventually bringing him food. The second example is especially noteworthy. Nagito got both the Imposter and Teruteru killed – he's an unstable individual, no two ways about it. Mahiru doesn't object to his being restrained; she objects to the over-the-top, vigilante-style methods used by Nekomaru and Kazuichi to do so. There's a clear parallel to be drawn between this and Twilight Syndrome. If she's so against Nagito – a murderer who isn't her friend – receiving inhumane treatment, then there's no question she'd be against it for Sato, a murderer who is.

It's only reasonable to assume that, when Mahiru realized the truth of the incident, she destroyed the evidence for the same reason Sato committed murder in the first place: she knew that, if it got into yakuza hands, there would be hell to pay. She wasn’t too far off the mark, either. The rumors in mind, all it took for Fuyuhiko to connect the dots was witnessing Sato’s failed attempt to discard the sole intact copy of the photo (Mahiru needed at least one if she wanted to corner Sato and coax a confession from her; she couldn't have anticipated that it would be absconded with.) And even if he didn't, say someone else found it: they might report it to the police, yes, but more likely (given the lack of solid evidence) they would start another, more potent rumor – one that would eventually reach the wrong ears, inciting action. All told, Sato was lucky to have only been killed, as the yakuza are capable of much, much worse.

Mahiru didn’t think what Sato did was right. Far from it; she was shocked and horrified when her suspicions turned out to be true. Furthermore, even outside of the TSMC, she believes her covering for Sato is something to atone for, which automatically requires thinking Sato was wrong. But if it was within her power to throw the mafia off Sato’s trail, she absolutely would, including by decidedly immoral means. You don’t have to condone murder to not want your friend to be kidnapped and tortured.

When Mahiru tells Fuyuhiko during their final confrontation that “nobody has the right to judge others for their crimes,” “judge” is another way of saying “take revenge on.” Think the phrase “playing judge, jury and executioner.” Fuyuhiko judged Sato as deserving of death for her crime, and carried out that judgment by murdering her. That’s what Mahiru is condemning. She’s not dismissing his loss – she acknowledges that his sister’s murder was terrible. She’s saying it didn’t give him the right to become a murderer in turn. This isn’t hypocritical; it’s entirely consistent with her actions in the TSMC. She never sought revenge, nor did she enable anyone else’s. She was trying to prevent revenge from the start.

That said, Mahiru isn’t above reproach (if she were, none of this would be happening to begin with.) Though I stand firm that she had every right to be angry here, I can appreciate that Fuyuhiko did, too.

Mahiru went into the beach house intending to figure out how to atone for a sin she couldn’t remember committing. Fuyuhiko went into the beach house intending to kill Mahiru as further revenge for Natsumi. Thing is, Fuyuhiko isn’t a cold-blooded killer. He thinks he's supposed to be, but deep down he’s conflicted. And so, to cope, he has an out: if Mahiru denies the game's reality, he'll call off the plan. He’ll spare her. More than anything, he just wants to believe that none of it happened; his sister isn't dead and Mahiru didn't cover for her killer. But it's too late to hope for denial. He'd already accused Mahiru of the cover-up and sent her the photos as proof, and she’d been taking it very seriously ever since. The threatening letter he left her, combined with her knowledge of the game’s true ending, would have been more than enough to convince the others to apprehend him like Kazuichi wanted – not to mention the most obvious thing to do for her own protection. And yet from the moment she received the letter, the only thing on her mind was making amends. There was no going back.

These conflicting goals are a recipe for disaster. Fuyuhiko, who had initially compelled Mahiru to face her sin, is now wanting her to deny that the events of the game ever took place. Mahiru, who came for help collecting her thoughts, is now face-to-face with the very person she needed to prepare to talk to. Keyword: prepare. Again, the important thing to understand about Mahiru is that, despite her headstrong attitude and emphasis on “doing the right thing,” she doesn’t always know what the right thing is. She lacks the confidence necessary to support her levelheadedness, and so she agonizes and deliberates. Instances of this include:

When she stays quiet as Hiyoko berates Teruteru, claiming he deserved to die, only to come to terms with the issue later (main game).

When she’s implied to spend the night awake pondering what to do about the Twilight Syndrome motive (main game).

When she waits several days before getting rid of the vase picture, showing that she didn't take the decision lightly (TSMC).

When she ruminates over how best to make amends with Fuyuhiko, leading him to think she’s avoiding him (main game).

The fact that, in the TSMC, Mahiru finds herself in a situation that tests her moral compass is what makes her involvement in the case compelling. She’s not someone who believes the ends justify the means, and yet all of a sudden she’s thrust into a scenario where they have to – where “the right thing” (not destroying the evidence) and “the wrong thing” (letting Sato suffer and/or die) intersect. No wonder she handles the entire thing so clumsily; it’s completely foreign to her.

Now consider this situation. Mahiru has been lured to a secluded area. She never got the chance to talk things through with the other girls and hasn’t the first clue about how to make amends. Fuyuhiko has proven that he isn’t all bark and no bite and could actually hurt her if provoked. Hiyoko is nowhere to be found; who’s to say Fuyuhiko hasn’t killed or severely harmed her? It’s a perfect storm of stress. Needless to say, the interaction is already doomed.

Said interaction starts when Mahiru, treating the game as though it were real, asks if Fuyuhiko killed Girl E (Sato). At this, Fuyuhiko is furious. But wait… this whole thing started because Fuyuhiko accused her of being an accomplice to his sister's murder, and yet now, when she's asking about what he did in the game, he says he doesn't want to hear it? When she says he shouldn’t have killed Girl E, he replies that nobody cares? How does this sound to Mahiru? A man who doesn't think he did anything wrong, refusing to accept responsibility? Only at this point does she get angry.

On the other hand, from Fuyuhiko's perspective, Mahiru had been avoiding him ever since he left her that letter, and so the fact that she isn't answering his questions is insulting. Even though he'd already decided on revenge, he’s giving her a chance to avoid the fate he had planned for her altogether, simply by saying she doesn’t remember anything from the game or believe that it happened. Yet not only is she doing the opposite of that, the girl who supposedly tried to protect his sister's killer is claiming that he was also wrong. His anger skyrockets.

All in all, it’s pretty easy to understand where both of them were coming from. In Mahiru’s efforts to protect her friend from revenge, she prevented Fuyuhiko from getting justice for Natsumi in any capacity. There was no way the authorities would believe him, a member of the criminal underworld, over a seemingly normal high school girl – not without evidence. Sure, a picture of a vase wasn’t substantial, but it was something, and she got rid of it. Meanwhile, if Fuyuhiko hadn’t been out for blood, Mahiru wouldn’t have felt the need to destroy the evidence to begin with. In other words, they both felt they had no choice but to do what they did – Mahiru to cover things up, Fuyuhiko to kill. Their goals clashed at nearly every turn, right up to the end.

Mahiru messed up – that I won’t deny. She lost her cool and chastised Fuyuhiko while he was in the middle of interrogating her about his sister. She shouldn't have done that – not because she didn't have a point, but because it wasn't the right time to make it. Chances are if she’d kept treating the game as real, she still would have angered him enough to convince Peko it was necessary to step in, but straight-up condemning his actions more or less sealed her fate. It’s almost ironic how her go-to method of yelling at people to do better led to her death in this instance. Keep in mind, though, it was Fuyuhiko who put her in that position to begin with. He backed her into a corner, deprived her of the chance to think things through and expected her to simply… read his mind and say what he wanted her to say so that he could find an excuse not to kill her. That’s why I don’t think it’s fair to claim she brought her death entirely on herself.

Moreover, her last words in and of themselves weren’t off-target. Fuyuhiko spends nearly the rest of the game trying to atone for rushing into revenge. He realizes that Mahiru was right; “an eye for an eye” is a flawed credo, and it’s through this that he manages to earn the forgiveness of all of his classmates, even Hiyoko. Losing Peko might have been what springboarded his development, but Mahiru’s contribution shouldn’t be understated. Hell, the scenario of Mahiru's death echoes some of Goodbye Despair’s most important themes, namely restoration over retribution and being punished for a forgotten sin. The mindset that certain people deserve to die for their crimes is what leads to much of the cast’s misery, and ultimately the opposite philosophy is what saves them.

Thanks for reading :)

Banana day 🧡

おめでとう🐣