Uh So I Never Do This But Maui Is Quite Literally On Fire And There Isn't Nearly Enough Care Or Consideration

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

The Alastor delusion on tiktok is actually bewildering, like this comment on a video about how sweet and fatherly Alastor is to Charlie

Oh yeah?

This guy?

This guy right here? He's the one singing about guiding her with pure intentions???

Oh this is the face of a man with no nefarious intent to you? An honest, well meaning, all around swell fella??? This is your non-manipulative guy??????

Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like “Evil volcano inspection unit” and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You heard them, call emergency services

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

It can be really hard to learn to engage in positive self talk, but sometimes it's easier to start by pretending it's coming from a friend, first 💜

Here is your mission.

queer people of all kinds. i am looking you in the eyes. do not fucking kill yourself. are you listening to me it will be okay. it will get better. i am shaking you by the shoulders do. not. fucking. do. it. you have so much to keep going for and so many people who love you. the cost of the present will not outweigh the life ahead of you. i love you. chin up or down keep walking you'll get there. we will pull you back up onto your feet should you fall. i love you