It's So Easy To Deny Yourself Basic Things, Like Food And Sleep, In Order To Punish Yourself. But You

Midsummer’s Eve: A Reverence to Roses - John Henry Lorimer

imagine, you’re in paris. la vie en rose is playing as you’re watching the rain pour from your window, looking at the eiffel tower, sipping on a glass of rosé, preferably with your love.

Maybe if I hadn’t been so afraid of rejection I could’ve shown you how much love I had in store.

k.b. // i missed my chance tho (via whendidmythoughtsgocrazy)

the inherent romanticism of being thought of.

“He is half of my soul, as the poets say.”

— Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

give me the old-school love. write me letters. leave me random notes. kiss my hands. slow dance with me. write a poem. lie down with me on the grass. read to me.

why is it that whenever I am disillusioned with the world I go back to the epic of Gilgamesh

“It is the story of their becoming human together.”

This is it. This is the oldest written literary work that we know of, and it’s a story of becoming human together.

This is a story about love, and it’s a story about death, and we told this story thousands of years ago, THOUSANDS of years. We have always, always, always been wrestling with this profoundly beautiful existence and with knowing one another, while knowing that we all will die and be forgotten.

We become human by loving, but we also become human by knowing death.

And I’m just sitting here touching other human beings, another human experience, from across millennia, feeling a bit more human too through it, and I am trying very hard not to cry.

the most beautiful words in the english language

ineffable — indescribable, unspeakable

eudaemonia — the state of consummate happiness

sumptuous — extremely costly, luxurious, magnificent

nadir — the lowest point (of something abstract)

lassitude —tiredness, lack of energy

scintilla — a spark or a trace of something

aurora — the dawn

quintessential — perfectly typical or representative of a particular kind of person or thing

renaissance — revival

bodacious — remarkable, admirable

ebullience — the quality of excitement and enthusiasm

REINVENTING MYSELF-Femininity

Simply put, I don’t like the woman I am now. I am a manifestation of my parents neglect, insecurities rooted in me since a child, along with suppressed and very obvious trauma. I want to see better, I want to do better, I want to attract better.

In preparation for spring (the actual “New Year”) I am currently throwing away EVERYTHING and starting completely fresh. Clothes, wigs, sheets, I even thought about tossing my diploma not a soul asked me for (not even school, everything is electronic).

This is she, me. Anew

Personality

She is mysterious, yet has a welcoming aura about her. You know she’s not the woman to step to unless it’s worth her time, but intimidating isn’t the feeling that comes over the admirer. She’s playful, actively laughing and playing with her dogs. Publicly and privately. A hopeless romantic, though a seductress first. Her love (and lust) is earned. She’s very hard to get.

Hopeless Romantic

Adventurous

Rebellious

Creative

Bookworm

Athletic

Hobbies

She’s always trying something new to see if she finds something she likes. Fear of dislike is never on her mind. As a curious spirit, she not only has hobbies but works to advance and meet those who share the same hobbies as her

Art museums

Theatre

Cooking & making recipe books to pass down

Scrapbooking

Learning about nature (plants, Survival skills, history)

Baking (for anyone)

Chess

White Wine

Astrology

Teapot Collecting

Reading research articles

Boundaries

Again, she’s very hard to get. Hard to impress. Hard to convince. Hard to plead to. As warm as her aura may be, she’s very no nonsense. She is in tune with her inner voice and intuition, who are the first to advise her about whatever you’re telling her.

No sex before substantial financial/personal commitment

Limited debates, always held with class and even tone. Never arguments or fights

Not surrounding self around people who don’t share the same ambition

I come first. My safety, my priorities and myself, period.

No unannounced guests (gift deliveries excluded)

I don’t entertain conversations with men after a certain time

I am selective about what I choose to listen to, so I cut all unproductive/negative conversations very short

Goals

She is an “overachiever”. Whatever that means.

Purchase first property

Travel to 5th country

Obtaining black dermatologist

Selling select art pieces for over ($XX,XXX)

Approved for American Express Platinum Card

Accepted into Ph.D program

Complete first few books/scripts

Learn Spanish and ASL fluently

I went deep into depth privately, and I highly suggest you do the same. Sometimes, it helps to have an organized, detail breakdown of who you are, who you want to become, and most importantly who are you leaving behind.

$TufaniTalks

I feel so left out. I don’t know why, but I feel as though people don’t actually like me. So I slowly distance myself from people and eventually I have no friends.