Latest Posts by ayoungwomansthoughts - Page 2
may these memories break our fall
"Life is so largely eating and sleeping and going places without ever getting there."
– Sylvia Plath
The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947
“One day it just clicks… You realise what is important and what isn’t, you learn to care less about what other people think of you and care more about what you think of yourself. You realise how far you have come and you remember thinking that things were such a mess they’d never recover and then you smile. You smile because you’re truly proud of the person you have fought to become.”
— Unknown
these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die; like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume.
— William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet.
i wish i had a window seat with lots of pillows that i could sit in and drink tea and read books in and watch the rain in
bitches say they’re fine and then scream the “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all” in bohemian rhapsody louder than everyone else
give me the old-school love. write me letters. leave me random notes. kiss my hands. slow dance with me. write a poem. lie down with me on the grass. read to me.
it’s the idea that god creates people only to destroy them for me
Tony Hoagland, from “Peaceful Transition”, What Narcissism Means to Me
morgan harper nichols
to want and be wanted
georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin
There are men out there who will woo you. Men who will kiss you senseless on a Tuesday afternoon because they thought your eyes looked extra beautiful. Men who will provide for you and build a future while holding your hand.
Wait for that kind of man. He’s worth it.
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.
REINVENTING MYSELF-Femininity
Simply put, I don’t like the woman I am now. I am a manifestation of my parents neglect, insecurities rooted in me since a child, along with suppressed and very obvious trauma. I want to see better, I want to do better, I want to attract better.
In preparation for spring (the actual “New Year”) I am currently throwing away EVERYTHING and starting completely fresh. Clothes, wigs, sheets, I even thought about tossing my diploma not a soul asked me for (not even school, everything is electronic).
This is she, me. Anew
Personality
She is mysterious, yet has a welcoming aura about her. You know she’s not the woman to step to unless it’s worth her time, but intimidating isn’t the feeling that comes over the admirer. She’s playful, actively laughing and playing with her dogs. Publicly and privately. A hopeless romantic, though a seductress first. Her love (and lust) is earned. She’s very hard to get.
Hopeless Romantic
Adventurous
Rebellious
Creative
Bookworm
Athletic
Hobbies
She’s always trying something new to see if she finds something she likes. Fear of dislike is never on her mind. As a curious spirit, she not only has hobbies but works to advance and meet those who share the same hobbies as her
Art museums
Theatre
Cooking & making recipe books to pass down
Scrapbooking
Learning about nature (plants, Survival skills, history)
Baking (for anyone)
Chess
White Wine
Astrology
Teapot Collecting
Reading research articles
Boundaries
Again, she’s very hard to get. Hard to impress. Hard to convince. Hard to plead to. As warm as her aura may be, she’s very no nonsense. She is in tune with her inner voice and intuition, who are the first to advise her about whatever you’re telling her.
No sex before substantial financial/personal commitment
Limited debates, always held with class and even tone. Never arguments or fights
Not surrounding self around people who don’t share the same ambition
I come first. My safety, my priorities and myself, period.
No unannounced guests (gift deliveries excluded)
I don’t entertain conversations with men after a certain time
I am selective about what I choose to listen to, so I cut all unproductive/negative conversations very short
Goals
She is an “overachiever”. Whatever that means.
Purchase first property
Travel to 5th country
Obtaining black dermatologist
Selling select art pieces for over ($XX,XXX)
Approved for American Express Platinum Card
Accepted into Ph.D program
Complete first few books/scripts
Learn Spanish and ASL fluently
I went deep into depth privately, and I highly suggest you do the same. Sometimes, it helps to have an organized, detail breakdown of who you are, who you want to become, and most importantly who are you leaving behind.
$TufaniTalks
Go after the career YOU want.
Not the career your parents want you to have, not the career that makes the most money, not the career that seems the most practical.
Go after the career you want. Study the craft. Be the best, and watch the money come to you.
SUNDAY RESET ROUTINE 🛁
morning stretch / yoga
meditation
lots of water
journal & reflect on the past week
clean & change out bedsheets
laundry
fold & put away clean clothes
take out trash
dust & clean surfaces
clean dirty dishes from the weekend
clean bathroom sink and mirror
weekly grocery shop
refill & reorganize pantry and fridge
meal prep for the week
self care shower, skin care & beauty routine
set up planner and to do list for the week ahead
Doses of Glamour ⚜️
Networking and the Social Hierarchy
Some personal background on my upbringing, both my late grandfather and father were influential in the political and business sector. We’d host politicians, two of whom are presidents today actually, their business colleagues and we were constant fixtures at society events.
The importance of networking is one of the most valuable things both the men in my life taught me. They were constantly building and nurturing relationships, irrespective of the individuals place on the totem pole. My father never failed to mention that it was the biggest component to his success.
If you’re not making an effort to expand your network and climb the social ladder, I can only assume you have no desire to advance in your career or improve your dating prospects. The sooner you understand that everyone is trying to achieve some kind of upward or social mobility, is the moment you’ll no longer pedestalize individuals in a higher social class and move through the spaces that once intimidated you with ease.
Hierarchies are omnipresent in all societies weather you’re aware of this or not. The social hierarchy is defined as an implicit or explicit rank order of individuals or groups with respect to a valued social dimension. Social hierarchies are influenced by income, wealth, education and occupation.
Based on where you presently rank in the social hierarchy the strategies you’ll implore for your advancement into a higher social class and the circles you’ll target will differ. As you advance up the pyramid your strategies for further advancement will have to be reevaluated and adjusted.
With that being said, here are the key factors that will determine your upward mobility in today’s social hierarchy as well as
How to navigate the challenges that come along with these factors.
And how to achieve upward mobility through networking strategies.
Education:
I can’t emphasise enough how important it is that you get an education. If you have the opportunity to go to college weather it be an Ivy League or a community college please do so. If neither of those options are financially accessible to you, make use of free online courses, paid certifications and YouTube university. There are a lot of well paying job opportunities that don’t require a college degree (I’ll do a post on this if anyone is interested) What’s important is that you become an expert at something, find what you’re skilled at and master it. Focus on mastering your skills through internships and practical training programs as it will equip you with experience making your transition into the workforce easier.
On that note when you’re pursuing your education you must be networking by:
Connecting with professors, when they are well connected they could refer you for internship opportunities and write you recommendation letters.
Making contact with professionals in your desired industry for guidance and mentorship opportunities through LinkedIn
Attending networking events related to your desired industry, to build a network of industry professionals thus opening doors for career opportunities in the future.
Career:
Finding a well paying job at a entry level (entry level refers to 1-2 years of experience) can present as a challenge for many but it is not impossible. Here are two ways to combat this challenge
By mastering high paying hard and soft skills within your desired field. Hard skills are learned abilities acquired and enhanced through practice, repetition, and education. Hence why outside of your educational pursuits you should be acquiring these hard skills through online courses, training programs and internships as mentioned above. Soft skills include attributes and personality traits that help employees interact with others and succeed in the workplace. Showcasing and highlighting both hard and soft skills in your resume will help you stand out with recruiters. ( I’ll do a post on resumes if anyone is interested as I’ve got HR experience) So it’s imperative that you research hard and soft skills within your desired industry for long term success.
I will always reiterate that the key to succeeding at any goal isn’t to work hard but rather to work smart. The second way to land a well paying job at a entry level is by targeting emerging or growing industries with a low-medium entry barrier. Research these industries, the roles that are most in demand and the skills required for that role then pursue the role that aligns with your personal career goals.
A obvious example of such an industry is the tech industry, there are plenty of technical and non technical roles that pay an average of 60k and upwards from customer success,sales, operations and digital marketing ( side note, digital marketing skills are high in demand due to the technological age we live in). I am highlighting the tech industry because a lot of the opportunities in the tech industry are remote, meaning you have a shot at a well paying job regardless of what country you live in.
As a career woman you should be networking by:
Attending top industry events hosted by successful companies and industry professionals
Ensuring that you purchase the best tickets for these events as they normally grant you access to VIP lounges, granting you the opportunity to expand your network into the realm of managers, directors and executives.
Joining a master mind group in your industry, a master mind group being a peer-to-peer mentoring group used to help members solve their problems with input and advice from the other group members.
Joining organizations in your industry, as this will expand your network as well.
Conclusion:
We all have different starting posts, by no means does that imply that you will not be successful at the goals you’ve set for yourself. I am simply stating that your goals should be paced in terms of your present circumstances, so that you are fully equipped for the position you desire to hold in society. There are two other key factors in addition to the ones mentioned above that I will expand on in another post.
Signed
Doses of Glamour ⚜️
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 "𝐈𝐓" 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
It’s always been my dream to be viewed as a living goddess. When anyone encounters me, I want them to feel as though they have just come in contact with an ethereal being. Someone who is so uniquely feminine, elegant, skillful, kind, elegant, and charming. I want them to be captivated by my beauty and enraptured by my intellect. There is no spell that can accomplish this. Only dedicated and precise hard work. You have to be dedicated. You have to show up for yourself every day, even when you’re tired. Even when you’re sad. Even when you feel totally uninspired. Put in the work for what you want. Here is your guide.
𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓
Start the day off by thanking God for all of your blessings that are tangible and intangible. Starting the day off with a grateful heart is step 1 to having a great day!
Literally, stay prayed up in everything you do. If something feels wrong (or even if something feels right) consult with God about it. Let Him be the governing force in your life. Lean more on his word than your own understanding. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Read your Bible every day. Utilize the guidebook that helps you read the whole bible in one year. Utilize the S.O.A.P method to study and get a firm understanding of what God says and what he expects of us.
Read Christian literature by reputable authors. Books that will help you strengthen your faith, become a woman of God, who is secure in her faith and in herself. Books that will help you become a better servant and a kinder person. (For example: The Esther Anointing by Michelle McClain-Walters)
Supplement some of the entertainment you indulge in now with Christian music and podcasts (from reputable creators)
Attend church every Sunday and once schedule allows, attend Tuesday young adult ministry
Serve in the church in some capacity. Preferably in youth ministry, but wherever the help is needed.
Have a prayer network— friends who can call on one another whenever they need prayer (Matthew 18:20)
It is the famous Palladium Dress designed by Gianfranco Ferré for a 1992 Dior collection.
“He is half of my soul, as the poets say.”
— Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles
the statues of apollo and athena, at the academy athens, in a full moon night.
Mary Oliver
Instagram: peculiaracademics
Hang on. It gets easier and then it gets okay and then it feels like freedom.
Taylor Swift (via nightlyquotes)
All day long there has haunted me
A spectre out of my lost youth-land.
Because I happened last night to see
A woman's beautiful snow-white hand
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
~Some Rules on Self Love in no particular order~
Challenge Yourself: know that anything you want to achieve, you’re worth the time and effort that goes into it. Challenging yourself and setting new goals builds self confidence
Be in competition w/ you and no one else: don’t compare yourself to others, for you do not know their path or their desired destination. You’re unique because you’re you and no one else has your lives experiences or exact perspective.
Do what you say you’re going to do: not just for other but for yourself. If you promise yourself something, if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, do it. Not only will you be more productive, but you won’t feel the need to wallow in self loathing over something you said you were going to do and never got to
Value your time: for this is indeed valuing yourself. It’s okay to relax and lay around and do absolutely nothing sometimes, but dedicating your time to nothing is dedicating yourself to nothing. Value yourself enough to put your tile to good use
Anticipate the future: try your best to look out for your future self, even in the smallest ways. From picking something up off the floor so that you don’t trip on it tomorrow to keeping a pack of makeup wipes beside your bed for those lazy days
Respect yourself, your belonging and your space: you deserve to live in a clean, functional space. Respect your belongings, have a place for them and put them in their place. Respect yourself by not letting others disrespect you, set and assert your boundaries. Respect your space by setting the rules and enforcing them. You’re in charge here, and what you say goes.