Me Running Very Fast On My Way To Tell U Ur Doing Great And Im Proud Of U

Day 4 Self Love Journal Prompts

4. Your favorite personality trait

Similar to my last prompt, this one's a little difficult. I feel like half of my personality is just how I treat other people and not intrinsic qualities about myself. I'm kind, but is that a personality trait or is it just basic human decency? I guess one that isn't as dependent on others is that I'm hardworking. I struggle with executive function and motivation sometimes, but I do my best to do what's expected of me and do it well and in a timely manner. That isn't to say it's always easy, or that I manage to do it all the time, but I do my best and that's what matters!

also look at this cute coffee I got today! It's called a honey bomb, it had honey (obviously), bee pollen (was a little nervous about that ngl), vanilla syrup, and oat milk (had to double check that it was gluten free lol)! It was so good, and the drawing the barista added was adorable

*me plugging in my phone in the dark* dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thinka botu it donmt think aboiut it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thihnk about it dont think about it dont think about it dojnt think abtiou it dont thi

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

I’m not canonically autistic but it’s strongly implied

Mary Oliver, Worm Moon

not self diagnosed not professionally diagnosed but a secret third thing (peer reviewed autism)

Hey I just wanted to say thanks, because idk why this didn't just occur to me, but I've been missing "family" meals, the kind of meals I get to make for people and sit down with people I love since I came out and had to leave my house, and idk why but you posting about having family dinners with your friends where you host them made me realize that like, that's something I can still do. If I don't have the people who will invite me over to eat a meal anymore I can always be the person who invites others over myself and idk, I just wanted to say thanks

this warmed my heart in ways i don’t know how to describe.

family dinner started because i’d get some friends over on tuesdays to watch supernatural prequel the winchesters and i’d make them dinner for their troubles. i was feeding like five people max. but then the show ended and one of my friends got a new job and had to move an hour away so we moved it to the weekend so she could still come.

and then i realized that cooking is actually a form of self care for me (let’s not examine too closely how my self care is still taking care of others, it’s been discussed enough in therapy). so we started inviting other folks. and family dinner went from five people regularly to seven. and then i’d have friends from out of town come and it’d be 15-17. and now it’s not unusual for a dozen people to show up at my house on a saturday night to drink and eat and make merry.

there’s a particular kind of warmth that comes from leaning against the entry to my dining room, glass of wine curled against my chest, seeing so many of the people i love sitting around my table as they laugh and bicker and eat a meal that i used so much love to make. food that i spent hours creating because they gave me the confidence and the desire to learn how to make new things. because the effort it takes for me to make pasta or gnocchi or sauces or broths from scratch is worth it. the hours i will spend standing over a hot stove as i make gumbo or chicken and dumplings or fried everything is worth it. the easy smiles and whiskey-reddened cheeks and raucous laughter and full bellies and warm togetherness is worth the trouble.

it makes me understand the last supper (you know, minus the foreboding of betrayal). there’s a divinity in making a meal to share with those you love.

i’ve yet to find a better way express my devotion than to say, “take this, all of you, and eat of it. for it is my love given up for you.”

because even though the darkness can be chasm-wide and canyon-deep, my love is wider and deeper. it’s the bridge over the consumption of it all.

when people sit at my table and break bread that my hands have tenderly prepared i see the point of it all. loving and be loved in return.

and sometimes that love is stored in poetic words and grand gestures. and sometimes, that love is stored in a stockpot full of soup. but they both accomplish the same thing at the end of the day. warmth and safety and care and devotion.

it’s love. plain and simple and small.

yeah no you gotta come pick up your man. yeah he’s suffering the mortifying ordeal of being perceived while in front of the hoes.

Day 5 Self Love Journal Prompts

5. What makes you happiest in life?

It depends, do you want the long list or the short list? Over all, my pets, my family, music, my friends, and my partner <3

My family has always had dogs, and we have four right now (dog tax below)! We also had hermit crabs while I was in elementary school, and I had a Goliath beetle in a terrarium, and a worm garden/compost bin that I saw as my pets, but my dad secretly used for fishing bait lol.

I'm the oldest sibling in my family, and I have two younger siblings (hi Jordan lol). I'm honestly pretty close to my family, and I'm thankful to get along with them pretty well!

I've always loved music, and I think my taste in music is pretty broad. A few of my current top picks are Lovejoy, dodie (seeing her in concert soon hopefully!), Laufey, BTS, Lemon Demon, Billy Joel, Mitski (just now getting into her music honestly), Dream, Hozier, Sleeping At Last, mxmtoon, Taylor Swift, Paramore, Lizzy McAlpine, and anything musical theatre honestly lol. I also listen to 80's music pretty often, but that's what my parents listened to when I was a kid so it's just kind of ingrained in my lol.

I'm really lucky to be in a place now where I have several close friends that I really trust and can rely on (hi Jordan (again)). I have my sister, my cousin, my college roommate, and my partner, and a lot of other friends I've made in the last few years. For a long time I've struggled with making, and mostly keeping, friendships. It's easy to be friendly and get along with people, but I have a hard time taking the next step after that, so I feel like I have a lot of "surface level" friends. I love them, and I appreciate their place in my life, but there's a lot of people I wish I was able to be closer to. Past that, I've always wrestled with feeling like even if I make friends, they won't stick around or will make "better" friends and not need me around anymore. Unfortunately I've had it happen enough times that it's a deep fear of mine, but I'm slowly working through it thanks to my current friends :)

My partner and I have been dating for 5 years, but we've known each other since we were little kids. He's been my best friend and rock, especially through the rough time periods where my friendships were really struggling. He's been there for me through thick and thin, encouraged my growth as a person, and is absolutely just the most loving, kind, adorable person. He's my person, and he makes my days better just by existing <3