Welp, I Guess I Can Die Now

Someone: Bisexuals don’t exist

Me: I can’t go to work sir, I don’t exist

Peter b Parker: Michelle Obama is president in this universe?

Miles: yeah? Who’s president in your universe?

Miles: why are you crying?

marvel: thanos will return

me: i think the fUuUuUck not you Trick Ass Bitch

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

Practically A Weasley 

Charlie Weasley x Reader

Summary: Newly bestselling childrens book author, (Y/N) (L/N) reconnects with her best friends, Fred and George at a signing. They invite her over for dinner to catch up. Charlie Weasley, also happens to be attending dinner that evening.

Prompt: Please can i request a Charlie Weasley x reader, where she is best friends with and the same age as the twins (they’re all 18 with Charlie being like 23ish) and her and Charlie are secretly dating and then the whole family finds out? Thank you :) - Anon

Word Count: 3.4k 

Warnings: None

A/N: fluffy fluff fluff, oh, and dragons

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She had promised to be their partner in crime, help with their shop as much as she could, but everything changed when (Y/N) found her passion. (Y/N) decided to travel the world to write children stories for young witches and wizards. She had always enjoyed writing and her creativity knew no bounds. Of course she’d want to expand the imagination of children, influence their thinking from a young age. The Tales of Beedle the Bard got ever so boring once you’ve read it so many times.

Fred and George were heartbroken. (Y/N) had been their best friend since the start of their Hogwarts years, the first person to break into their little world. She had been their sole confidant, their wonderful distractor and the girl everyone thought one of them would end up marrying. Not that Fred or George had thought about it before, but both came to the conclusion that it would be far to weird.

She was practically a Weasley.

Keep reading

The worst kind of griffin would be a fox/seagull.

Screams all day and all night and is definitely in your garbage.

Bonus:

i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot

the best way to enjoy star trek is to just never talk to other star trek fans about star trek

If Loki had taken over Earth, music and art programs would have finally got more funding than sports.