Bastard-in-armor - Not Your Boyfriend (I'm A Woman)

Maidens only desire the finest of knights. Like Guinevere, they lust after gallant Lancelot even when wed to the noble and kind Arthur. It's over, nay, it never began for us few who can not hope to rival their mythic Lancelot in physique nor fair face.

Today, I approached a fine lady on the road. She was clearly of noble lineage, or so it seemed by her clothing and soft features. I shared a few words with her and offered to allow her to ride my horse. Suddenly, her face twisted, and she objected, "Sir, I am all-ready promised to another."

Another! Who must this be, another Lancelot, no doubt! Tall and handsome with noble blood.

Once again, maidens have left me despondent. There is no romance for those of us whose faces are malformed like ogres. For they are as their nature wills it: wanton harlots in the presence of Lancelot, and barren virgins in the face of us virtuous yet physically cursed men.

When dad sevika helps with homework

Confession: when I was younger I would often roleplay as male characters so that I could (attempt to) romance the female characters. AMA

Benny wasn’t actually caught by the legion because he didn’t put on a helmet, it’s because he laughed at the name of Caesar’s very great friend in Rome

some of the funniest shit in A New Hope are Luke's reaction to his uncle and aunt being burnt to a crisp and Leia's reaction to her entire planet blowing up, lol.

like...there are no intense emotions under George Lucas

Expanding a bit on the post I just reblogged, I absolutely HATE how a surprisingly large portion of the population now thinks that feminism is synonymous with being a "girlboss". The idea that working some kind of professional job and being successful at it is the only way to do feminism is insane. People will literally say "feminism has failed us" or "I'm giving up on feminism" when they're unhappy with their jobs. Babes idk how to explain this to you but that is not a problem with feminism that is a problem with your job. You don't need a rich man to provide for you while you take care of the kids you need a goddamn union and some paid leave

*spits up blood & looks up, smirking* heh, torture me all you like but ill never tell you the answer to the sphinxs riddle, because im stupid as fuck, & dont know it

full offense if someone nuked my nice little settlement i’d literally make it my mission to destroy their life

wait you guys are shipping the npcs

what your favourite caves of qud ship says about you

neelahind/eskhind: classic disaster lesbians. probably would have held a repressed requited crush for several centuries if it weren't for the player's meddling. you're a dork and love things like love letters and hesitantly holding hands and slowly but surely bringing out the best in each other qas/qon: you're a monsterfucker, and that means you get to be a monster. your dream is to be part of a dangerously confident lesbian power couple that is destined to take over the world someday and can shoot irisdual beam at level 5, instantly mulching wayward moon kings argyve/indrix: you KNOW they're eccentric gay lovers and you KNOW argyve tops. you may be a bit guarded and can come off as abrasive, and you dream of having someone to show your softer side to, along with have electric sex involving high-voltage arc winders and a two-handed fullerite battleaxe. you're a proud member of the "pariahs" faction tikva/tau: you hate an unhappy ending. why couldn't they have just been together and be one, forever? o uncertain and cruel world! you're definitely "over" that breakup that happened three decades ago under unresolved circumstances

i like when things are bad in an interesting way compared to good in a boring way. Creativity with a lack of technical skill is where the Good Shit happens.