Thermonuclear Hedgehogs

average experience watching daredevil born again s1ep1

trick or treat!

you don't understand. it's about him apologizing for everything. it's about him not expecting it to change anything. it's looking and sounding so soft and vulnerable. it's about being in the rain even though he hates it. it's about how izuku's eyes widened after he said his first name. it's about the win to save, save to win. it's about "you did nothing wrong, but you need to rest". it's about him bolting to catch him. it's about the "i get it". it's about izuku falling asleep in his arms after finally, finally feeling save after weeks of no rest. it's about-

I knew katsuki ran to him but I didn’t realize how he BOLTED to catch a falling deku in his arms, how katsuki’s body seemed to move on its own, how izuku have a little involuntary exhale of relief when he was caught and held,

HOW IZUKU RELAXED IN KATSUKI’S ARMS. HIS WHOLE BODY SANK INTO IT. HE CLOSED HIS EYES. AFTER WHO KNOWS HOW LONG OF STUBBORNLY STAYING AWAKE AND MOVING

sometimes i remember that suguru has literally been dead since the beginning of jjk and it makes me feel physically ill. like. we never got him back. not once. that was never him. it was always kenjaku in his skin, wearing his face, using his voice. and everyone just went along with it. and gojo went along with it. because what was he supposed to do?? watch his best friend's body walk around and pretend he doesn't feel like he's 17 again, failing all over again??

it’s not even a “they fell apart” kind of tragedy. it’s so much worse. suguru died, and then got turned into a puppet, and then gojo had to keep living in a world where his best friend’s corpse was smiling at him. talking to him. looking at him like nothing ever happened. you know how violating that is??? how soul-crushing it must’ve been to hear that voice and know it wasn’t him?? that his suguru was long gone and all that was left was a cruel joke played by the universe???

kenjaku didn’t just take his body, he took everything. his identity, his name, his legacy. made a mockery of it. reduced him to a vessel. and gojo could never do anything about it. he couldn’t kill him, not really. not without killing suguru all over again. and the worst part is that he hesitated. he always hesitated. because he kept hoping—kept hoping—that maybe there was something left. that maybe, just maybe, suguru was still in there. listening. waiting.

and that is the most heartbreaking thing. gojo never moved on. he couldn’t. he never even got the chance to grieve properly because the body never went cold. the body kept moving. kept smiling. kept killing.

suguru never got to rest.

and gojo never got to let go.

and in the end… they were both just trapped. one in a body that wasn’t his, the other in a memory he couldn’t escape.

no peace. no closure. just echoes and rot.

Classic Decorative Details, 1994

Quiet worry and soft forehead touches

looking back at my initial reaction to this moment when it happened in the manga, i can't believe i didn't immediately realise that it wasn't supposed to be taken positively. as someone who's been preaching about shigaraki being an unreliable narrator for years, it's really weird that at the time i didn't realise that the contradiction in what hawks saying ('i had support') and what he's thinking about (his toy. he didn't have any real support, only himself and his dream) is intentional, and didn't notice that his speech-bubbles are shaky. he's not really fine or alright, but he's convincing himself that he is to keep going.

Traditional Country Style, 1991