Oh Ok

my boss comes up to me and goes “do you want a passover candle holder” and i was like “do you mean shabbat candle sticks?” he said “no for passover. here” and he pulls a menorah

I don't know how to explain the feeling of hearing the shofar, something my ancestors heard millenia ago and a tradition which has persevered despite uncountable attempts to end us. I hear the sound in my bones. This is our tradition and we will never let it go

I wish Jews in media were allowed to exist outside the realms of Hanukkah or the Holocaust

my little cousin called my kippah a helmet and i said “yeah it’s to protect me from the ayin hara” and he said “what?” and i said “the evil eye” and he said “oh like the death star” so we’ve established the following:

the death star is the ayin hara

we wear kippot to protect us from the ayin hara, i.e. the death star

bearer of the curse <- knows basic facts about jewish history; goes on the internet daily

If I say "Israelis are human beings" and you hear "I think Palestinians are subhuman and should die," that's a problem you should work on.

we are so powerful that we had apps 7 years before smartphones

inside of you there are two intestines.

one of them is large, and the other is small.

If your first reaction to learning a Jew is a zionist is to start being antisemitic, you were antisemitic in the first place.