belmyh
22, he/him If you want him to forget, you might as well let him die.
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Latest Posts by belmyh
There is a cyclic tragedy inherent to Mori's character wherein he's actually a deeply lonely man, but it's mostly because his resolve to do morally reprehensible things and think of people as pieces on the game board is something he prioritizes over his relations with those very same people, and this inevitably pushes them away (for very understandable reasons). And it kind of sucks honestly because the most frustrating thing about Mori is that he 100% has the potential to be a fantastic teacher and mentor, and more than that, I think he loves it! Just look at Beast! But for as long as he decides he needs to be the one to make "the hard calls" to "preserve peace", then Mori will inevitably continue in this cycle of alienating all the people he has a fondness for.
I do feel as though Mori's loneliness is something he views as a necessary sacrifice that he is making for the greater good (and if he is so willing to sacrifice, then Dazai's unwillingness to do the same comes out of left field because - "what do you mean? you're supposed to be just like me!").
Anyways.
Mori voice: "I'm so alone"
Also Mori: *continues to prioritize pure logic over the emotions of his people and himself*
The people: *get rightly angry and/or become extremely traumatized and leave him*
Mori voice: "I did what needed to be done"
Mori: "..."
Mori: "..."
Mori: "I'm so alone"
Sir. You are doing this to yourself.
stormbringers fucking insane for using rimlaine as a contrast to skk. these two couldnt trust each other fully and rimbaud only believed he could help verlaine feel human, not truly be so, and still considered him Other, however much he believed them to be equals, verlaines humanity only existed in rimbauds eyes because he gave it to him. verlaines inability to accept his own humanity or even really that rimbauds feelings for him were genuine because he, alone, singular, monstrously set apart from humanity, should be incapable of receiving anything resembling affection or genuine understanding, such that it left him betraying his partner. and then they cannot exist as two beings working seamlessly together. rimbaud and verlaine in fact cannot exist as two beings at all, only as one conjoined entity. verlaine kept alive with rimbauds skill, and rimbaud, long dead and refusing that reality until he can find his partner, existing only as an extension of verlaine. while skk who do trust each other blindly, who do see humanity in each other enough to look past when they doubt it in themselves, who see humanity not as a defined be or be not, but as a set of values, as a do or do not. they are able to exist as one act in two parts. interdependent, always, even down to their skills, but still functioning as one unit in two separate cogs made to fit together.
every single day I think about how american black vultures are known for engaging in interspecific allopreening (preening between different species)
and they have a specific relationship with crested caracaras, in which the black vultures assist them by not only preening them after meals but also leading them to food in the first place, while the caracaras assist the black vultures by acting as a warning signal in case of danger
and while this is more typical of black vultures, this is not common at all for any member of the falconidae family— it’s a special bond!
yet another post in favor of vultures everyone , hope you enjoy:) and I implore you to do some more research on these incredible birds !!
EDIT: I meant interspecific allopreening! excuse my typo!
EDIT 2: black vultures do not have a superior sense of smell to caracaras, sorry for the misunderstanding!
“Does Chuuya believe that Dazai is human?”
someone on twitter proposed this question, specifically referencing this scene*:
this scene is so interesting because Dazai is pretending he doesn’t care about what Shibusawa is doing. he’s pretending he does care about reaching executive. he’s pretending he doesn’t have a plan.
everything he does in this scene is intentional, to set Chuuya on track for his plan to take down Shibusawa… which includes riling him up.
yes, Chuuya believes Dazai is human— that’s precisely why it’s such a sensitive subject for Chuuya. he projects onto Dazai what he’s scared of becoming because Dazai is a mirror for Chuuya. when Chuuya looks at Dazai, he sees parts of himself that he tries to ignore staring back at him. (the same is true for Dazai— Chuuya is his mirror)
so Dazai sees this topic as an easy way to get Chuuya mad— to storm off & leave him alone for a few days so that Dazai can go get himself captured (so that Chuuya will have to come save him, putting him in the perfect position to use Corruption & end the conflict once and for all).
but when Chuuya realizes Dazai’s plan (like he always does), he sees through Dazai’s front. honestly part of the reason he’s always so annoyed when he gets to Dazai is probably in part because Dazai keeps pretending to be heartless when he’s really not. Chuuya doesn’t understand why Dazai lets people think he’s “bad” when, in reality, he’s doing something good.
so actually, Chuuya is one of the few people who sees and knows that Dazai isn’t heartless.
he does care.
he is human.
Chuuya’s own projection just gets in the way of him remembering that most of the time (which is totally understandable considering his backstory & the fact that he’s only a kid).
*just for reference, the official translation’s version of those panels reads:
“Well, that was mean of you. I’m human too, you know?”
“Like anyone believes that. Just be glad I didn’t kill you.”
Chuya's Tainted Sorrow
Here comes a meta on my favourite bsd character:
Chuya is mostly explored in the two BSD novels Fifteen and Storm Bringer, so this post covers what happens in these books. In particular, I am going to use Chuya's song, gift and literary references to explore his story.
DARKNESS MY SORROW
Darkness My Sorrow is Chuya's character song and its title combines two different literary references:
Darkness comes from the Sheep Song, which is used to trigger Corruption:
O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again!
Sorrow comes from Upon The Tainted Sorrow, which gives its name to Chuya's ability
Let's discover what these two poems represent.
CHUYA'S DARK DISGRACE (THE SHEEP)
O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless. O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself, O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave, leave this body of mine! I enjoy nothing anymore but my wretched dreams. (The Sheep Song, Part II)
The Sheep is Chuya's first group, which welcomes him in as a child. Why is the organization called after this animal? There are several reasons, which tie with Chuya's relationship with his friends.
1 - Chuya is a herding dog
The Sheep's members are normal kids, but Chuya guards their territory and punishes trespassers violently. This is the behaviour of herding dogs, which are famous for their aggressiveness towards outsiders.
"Everyone's waiting for you to give this enemy a beatdown! That's the only way we Sheep can protect our turf! We've only made it this far because everyone knows they can't mess with us!" (Shirase in Fifteen)
2 - Chuya is a sheep among wolves
"Chuuya's got all that berserk firepower, but here he's like sheep getting stared down by a wolf." (Dazai in Fifteen)
Chuya's relationship with the Sheep is exploitative and toxic. The other kids use Chuya's love and wish to belong to control him. All in all, Chuya is used as a pawn for the organization's well being:
"We Sheep took you in when you had no family and nowhere to go, but you already gave us more than enough in return. That's why... it's time to rest... after dying and contributing to the Sheep one last time." (Shirase in Fifteen)
3 - Chuya is the King of the Sheep
Luois I, King of the Sheep is a children book about a sheep, who finds a crown. He puts it on and becomes King. The point of the story is that Luois I is like other sheep, but chance and a superficial attribute turn him into a royal.
Chuya sees himself in the same way:
"I'm not a King," the boy, Chuuya Nakahara, spat. "I just happen to have something no one else does: power. I'm simply fulfilling the responsibility I have." (Fifteen)
Chuya's "crown" is his gravity manipulation gift that sets him apart from others. He even calls it a "good card", so something luck gives him.
Luois I lets the crown get to his head and believes he is above others. Chuya instead really wants to be part of the flock:
Chuuya wasn't anyone special; he didn't have a skill, either. He was just a regular member of the group. He wasn't the king, he had no powers, he wasn't the center of attention - he was simply a single Sheep among the flock, chatting with his friends. (Chuya's wish in Storm Bringer)
However, his ability is so powerful that it is the Sheep kids, who forget Chuya is a teenage boy just like them:
"Chuuya's covered in wounds. I've never seen him like that. He looks just like a regular guy my age. Wait, no - he doesn't just look like one. He is my age. He's a boy just like me." (Shirase in Storm Bringer)
In short, Chuya doesn't want to be the Sheep King, but he is forced into the role by the crown of power:
"Shut up! If you think you can become king, then do it! You can have this power!" Chuuya howled, unable to take it any longer. "To hell with power! If I didn't have this skill, I'd still be with you guys...!" (Storm Bringer)
Still, gifts are metaphors of the characters' interiority. So, what does Chuya's abnormous skill symbolize? What is the real flaw that defines Chuya's relationships and gets in their way?
"Once there was this boy who could amplify the skill of anyone he touched. Super convenient. So what do you think would happen if he used it on himself instead of someone else? (...) He amplified the skill to amplify the other skill, which amplified the skill to amplify skills that amplify skills. This self-referencing continued nonstop as he endlessly amplified his own skill." (N in Storm Bringer)
Storm Bringer reveals that the origin of Chuya's gravity manipulation is the gift to make other skills more powerful. The user applies his gift on himself and makes it stronger and stronger until infinite energy is created and space warps. So, Chuya's singularity is born: a gift able to control gravity. In other words:
The original ability is to make others stronger
If the ability is used on one-self (so that the wielder can become more powerful and make others even more powerful), then a contradiction arises and a monstruous skill appears
This process is a representation of Chuya's tendency to grow stronger for others' sake. He hones his fighting skills to protect the Sheep (to make them stronger), but this turns them too dependent on him (an organizational vulnerability). What a good leader should do is instead to nurture his people, so that they can be independent and strong:
“A leader is both the head of the organization and the organization’s slave. For the survival and the profit of the organization, they gladly put themselves through any manner of filth. They develop their subordinates and place them where they best fit. And, if necessary, they use and dispose of them. For the sake of the organization, they take on any act of barbarism with glee. That is a leader. All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city.” (Mori in Fifteen)
This is Chuya's mistake and the reason why the Sheep disbands. Chuya falls short as a leader not because he isn't as smart as Dazai or Mori (if anything, I think he is going to be a better leader than both). Rather, he fails because he doesn't know how to depend on others:
"It's because you are our friend. Were things different with the Sheep?" They had been. That was what Chuuya's flustered expression was saying. Everyone in the Sheep depended on him. The contrary was unthinkable. (Storm Bringer)
He insists on doing everything by himself, but a leader should work with his subordinates. This is what Chuya lacks in Fifteen and what he sails up to learn.
Still, to succeed Chuya needs to face the origin of this flaw, which lies in how he perceives himself:
O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself
Chuya sees himself as inferior to others. This complex makes him willing to be used, if it means he belongs somewhere:
LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."
This is the key stanza of Chuya's song, which reveals what Chuya's darkness really is. Loneliness. Chuya is scared of being alone, so he does his best to conform to others' wishes. For example, he dresses like those around him not to stick out.
Chuuya, age fifteen - He wears sportsy clothes, with several sheep symbols:
Chuuya, age sixteen - He wears a formal attire with much black in it. Perfect mafia-style:
However, he can't escape his interior pain, which metaphorically manifests in Corruption:
O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.
It is not by chance that the verses, which open Chuya's gate affirm the poet's solitude. That is because deep down Corruption is just this. Chuya's isolation.
THE TAINTED SORROW (ARAHABAKI)
Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers. The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets... (Upon The Tainted Sorrow)
Corruption is a state where Chuya gives up his body to Arahabaki. What is this entity? In universe, it is a singularity, a self-contradicting skill able to create infinite power. It metaphorically represents two things:
Everyone's objectification of Chuya
A part of Chuya himself
1 - Chuya's life is defined by others reducing him to a skill
-N and the Government kidnap, abuse and clone Chuya because of his self-contradicting gift. It is not the two kids (the original and the clone) they are interested in. Rather, they reduce them to their special abilities:
"Just like how we respect your will, we respect the will of your skill Arahabaki, as well. But... how should I put this? Your will is tying Arahabaki down, and as long as your will is firm, we won't be able to remove Arahabaki from you." (N in Storm Bringer)
N says it oudloud. He respects Arahabaki's will more than Chuya's. Except that Arahabaki has no will:
"Sigh... Why do you wanna see it so bad?" Chuuya said. "It doesn't have a personality or a mind of its own, so what's meeting' it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it's a god? It's a god of destruction, y'know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It's no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant." (Fifteen)
Arahabaki is not a person, but the embodyment of Chuya's gift. And yet, it is given a name and treated as more important than the kid.
-Rimbaud literally wants to turn Chuya into a skill:
"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud. My skill is called Illuminations. Chuuya, my goal is to kill you and absorb you into my skill" (Rimbaud in Fifteen)
He doesn't want to kill Dazai because he hates murdering children. And yet, Chuya is Dazai's same age. However, Rimbaud sees him as nothing, but Arahabaki's host.
-Verlaine wants Chuya to be his clone:
"I dunno about you, but I'm human." "You aren't human. You're 2,383 lines of code." (Chuya and Verlaine in Storm Bringer)
He denies Chuya's humanity and insists he is an artificial creation. Chuya can't be the original kidnapped child, but needs to share Verlaine's origins and hate for the world. Verlaine doesn't consider his brother a person, but an extension of himself.
2- Arahabaki is Chuuya's inner beast
In psychology, the beast is a personification of one's deepest and most repressed feelings. What are Chuya's?
His control on gravity suggests two strong emotions:
a) A lack of freedom - The ability to control gravity should make one freer. And yet, Chuya is always chained:
Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison
He spends his childhood imprisoned in a lab. He is used as an attack dog by the Sheep. He is threatened to join the mafia with his friends' lives and Rimbaud's secret files. In a sense, he always serves someone. That is why Arahabaki is a servant deity.
b) A huge existential weight - He can make things lighter, but he still shoulders too much:
"Tell me, tin man," Chuuya suddenly stated, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Why did they die?" "Because of you, Chuuya." Silence. "Yeah, it is my fault." (Chuuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)
For example, Chuya blames himself for what happens with the Sheep, the Flags and later on Adam:
"What's wrong, Chuuya? Everyone's going to die at this rate. You're going to kill them. Your shortcomings are going to kill them." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)
Chuya fears whoever gets close to him dies. That is why Arahabaki is a god of destruction.
Points 1 and 2 explain Chuya's loneliness. On the one hand others only see his skill (objectification). On the other hand Chuya doesn't see himself (struggle with the beast).
Arahabaki is a god whose origins are uncertain, so nobody understands it. Not even Chuya:
'In languor dreams of death' … who was the one that said it?
In the song, Chuya wonders who is the author of his own poem. This shows how disconnected he is from himself. He wears a mask of violence and bravado to hide his vulnerability. Still, this fragility emerges every time he lets Arahabaki out. Here comes the interpretative key of Chuya's character...
Arahabaki is nothing, but the Tainted Sorrow of the poem:
Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers.
The tainted sorrow is a fox covered in snow, while the wind howls:
Black snow began fluttering around Chuuya. Red scar-like runes crawled across his skin. He ignored the law of physics, hovering in the sky, as he glared down at the beast on the surface. Intense heat caused by the gamma radiation filled the air. The night was scorched, and the scenery warped. (Storm Bringer)
Arahabaki-Chuya is described as a tailed-beast and the anime shows he is similar to a fox. Moreover, he is covered in black snow, while his gravity powers manifest a strong wind.
The rest of the verses convey Chuya's feelings:
The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets...
Interestingly, the fox and the setting sun come up in Storm Bringer:
The video showed a golden coin. One side was engraved with a fox, the other with the moon. It was beautiful yet somewhat melancholy. (Storm Bringer)
The young Chuya repeats Upon the Tainted Sorrow while playing with a coin that has a fox and a moon on its sides.
The literary metaphor becomes clear. The Sheep Song is the key to open the Tainted Sorrow's gate. Chuya activates Corruption through verses, that state his loneliness. He says them, when he is ready to face the darkest part of himself.
WHAT IS CHUYA?
The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.
The Tainted Sorrow dreams of death, which means Chuya is suicidal.
This is why he is both drawn and repulsed by Dazai:
"Your birth itself was a mistake. We're the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn't even real?" The voice was taunting him. "Shut up," Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. "Screw you, Dazai." "That's just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I'm saying. Because deep down inside, you're the same as me." (Storm Bringer)
Dazai is the Chuya, who regrets being born and wishes to die. Still, he is also the Chuya, who wants to live, despite it all:
Chuya quietly stared at Daai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" "I wouldn't go that far," Dazai replied with a resigned smile. "Maybe I won't find anything, but I figure I'll give it a try." (Fifteen)
The Tainted Sorrow wishes nothing because it isn't a person. Chuya fears he has no will of his own because he isn't human:
Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream. For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud. (Storm Bringer)
This fear is why Chuya's friendship with Adam is so important.
Adam is a an artificial creation, like Chuya. He is even called after the Frankenstein monster. He is a robot programmed to destroy himself for the sake of his mission:
"This is the real reason why an android was sent, instead of a human detective. My core, which now contains state secrets, will be incinirated along with Verlaine." (Adam in Storm Bringer)
Adam is a person, like Chuya. He is even called after the first man. He is a friend, who chooses to sacrifice himself for a loved one:
"I get to protect you. I couldn't ask for more." (Adam in Storm Bringer)
Dazai and Adam are linked to life and humanity, which are the main themes of Chuya's arc in the novels.
They both get to keep on living together with Chuya:
Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)
"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" (Adam revealed as alive at the end of Storm Bringer)
Fittingly, Storm Bringer ends with the three of them together and alive. Chuya loses several friends, but by the end he still has two bonds. Two people who survive their friendship with him.
Even more importantly, Dazai and Adam both care about Chuya's humanity:
"Chuuya's gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That's why I have to stop him" (Dazai in Storm Bringer)
"Do you know whether Master Chuuya is human?" I was curiously hopeful that he would know the truth. (Adam in Storm Bringer)
Not only that, but they help Chuya finish his arc and find himself:
Then what is a soul? My friend's final words... What if those words were merely the words of a soulless command? So what? (Chuya in Storm Bringer)
Dazai gives Chuya a choice and Adam helps Chuya make it.
Dazai believes in Chuya's humanity more than anyone else:
"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)
N, Shirase, Rimbaud and Verlaine all reduce Chuya to a skill. Dazai instead sees Chuya as his own person. Sure, he finds Chuya annoying, but he is the only one, who interacts with Chuya for who he is, rather than what he can do.
Adam realizes Chuya is human no matter his origins:
"Asleep or not, he is just an ordinary human," Chuuya replied indifferently. "his skill is strong, but that's it. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though." "You are exactly right. It appears you have reached the conclusioin you needed to arrive at." (Chuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)
The Flags, Verlaine, Dazai and Chuya himself are focused on uncovering Chuya's birth. Is he the original kid or the clone? Discovering the truth is everyone's goal. Still, by the end Adam realizes Chuya's nature doesn't matter. He is Chuya either way. He is the person who teaches Adam about humanity. He is Adam's first friend.
Thanks to both Dazai and Adam, Chuya finally faces himself and activates Corruption. Not only that, but Chuya's final choice to let Arahabaki out is a perfect example of how he interprets freedom:
Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY)
Chuya is trapped in many ways and he knows it. He is given a gift he doesn't want and he is forced to join an organization he dislikes. And yet, he makes all these "imposed inconveniences" his. Chuya accepts the "card he is given" and uses it the best he can.
He combines his gift with martial arts, so that it really becomes his own ability:
He finds his own motivation to work for the mafia:
"I chose to join the Mafia on my own, and I'm never gonna be your lackey, much less your dog!" (Chuuya to Dazai in Fifteen)
He doesn't open the gate when N forces him, but he chooses to on his own terms.
It is really not by chance that in Chuya's first big fight in the manga, this happens:
Chuya claims there is no choice, but he is still the one who decides to activate Corruption. Even when trapped, Chuya always pushes forward and plays the hand he is dealt with passion. Even if he is unsure of who he is, he lives on as himself.
WHO IS CHUYA?
Chuuya took off one of his leather riding gloves and gazed at his hand. This is my hand, he thought. (Storm Bringer)
Chuya is a person. He has always been, no matter if he is the original or the clone. He feels pain, happiness, surprise. He is able to bond and to empathize with others. All of this makes him human. Not only that, but all of this makes him Chuya.
It is interesting that by the end, many people who objectify Chuya, recognize his personhood.
Shirase sees him as the teenage he is and saves him
Mori traps Chuya in the mafia, but is touched by Chuya's passion and loyalty:
Both Rimbaud and Verlaine eventually see who Chuya is:
"Chuuya, you already possess strength and talents all your own, separate from Arahabaki. You are strong not as a god but as a human being." (Rimbaud in Fifteen)
"Does that mean... you do not yet resent the world?" "There's people I hate, but not all of'em," replied Chuuya. "I know better than to try and live a solitary existence. You used to feel the same, right?" Verlaine didn't respond. It was as if his silence itself was his answer. (Storm Bringer)
And tell him to live on:
"Chuuya... can I... ask you... a favor?" "What is it?" "Live" Randou said in almost a whisper. (Fifteen)
"Chuuya-live." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)
Chuya manages to inspire all these people. At the same time, he is inspired back by them:
I was blessed with wonderful friends. That's all. I could have been in your situation, and you could have been in mine. (Chuya to Verlaine in Storm Bringer)
He integrates all his loved ones in who he is:
He (probably) imitates Hirotsu's habit to wear gloves and to take them away, when he is getting serious. This mannerism partially substitutes his practice to fight with the hands in the pockets
He is given his motorcycle by Albatross and keeps it as a memory of the Flags
He wears Verlaine's hat, which is really a gift from all three Chuya's key parental figures:
1- Rimbaud creates it for Verlaine
Once Verlaine puts on the hat, the fabric lining acts like coils, deflecting any external command sequences that could tamper with his mind. In other words, the wearer can control command sequences at will. With this hat, Verlaine is one step closer to becoming a human with free will. (Rimbaud in Storm Bringer)
2- Verlaine passes it down to Chuya
"You really like that hat, huh? That was his, right?" "Yeah, I'd rather not wear my brother's hand-me-downs, but it's got some pretty useful functions." (Shirase and Chuya in Storm Bringer)
3- Mori gives it to Chuya as a gift when he joins the mafia
"What's the hat for?" "It signifies your acceptance into the Mafia," Mori explained with a smile as he stood facing Chuuya. "Whoever recruits a new member into the organization usually looks after them as well. It's custom to gift the new recruit with something they can wear as a symbol of that bond." (Fifteen)
As a result, Chuya's hat is an object full of symbolism:
Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.
It is both shadow (a shadow of a hat) and light (within the darkness, it dances). On the one hand it is the key to Corruption, so to chaos. On the other hand it gives Chuya the power to control this chaos to an extent.
It is both what grants Chuya's free will and what threatens his autonomy:
It describes Chuya's bond with Mori, which is contradictory. Mori blackmails Chuya to join the mafia and controls him. He also offers Chuya a family (heart) and an insight on leadership (mind).
It represents Chuya's bond with Rimbaud and Verlaine, who are Chuya's literary parents, as their real life counterparts inspired Chuya Nakahara's poetry. In general, Chuya's past lowkey alludes to the true poet's one, at least metaphorically.
Nakahara Chuya is born in a rather wealthy family and forced by his father to pursue medicine studies. However, he discovers poetry when he is 8 years old and his younger brother dies. Later on, he rebels against his father's education and is inspired by Rimbaud and Verlaine's works. He imitates both their poems and their dandy life-style.
Similarly, BSD Chuya finds himself trapped until he is symbolically awaken to literature (break out of the lab) by Rimbaud and Verlaine. Here, his poetry (Upon The Tainted Sorrow) is set free and Chuya is reborn:
Those newborn cries filled the outside world in the form of flames. The raging flames brought destruction to the surface for as far as the eye could see. And thus, " " was born. (Fifteen)
Interestingly, Chuya is 7 or 8, when Rimbaud and Verlaine arrive in his life. Moreover, his survival and freedom come at the cost of his other self (his clone/the original Chuya). Just like Nakahara Chuya's first poem is the result of his grief for his brother's death.
In other words, Chuya is Rimbaud and Verlaine's literary child. He is what their bond leaves behind. This is why initially they both strongly project on Chuya, but eventually let him go. Isn't it normal for a parent to see themselves in their child? And isn't it normal for the child to imitate the parents to an extent? And yet, the child is his own person. Just like this, Chuya is strongly defined by both Rimbaud and Verlaine, but he is growing into himself:
"It's okay. The Port Mafia is my family now" (Chuya in Storm Bringer)
So, who is Chuya? It's easy, really. He is a Port Mafia Executive (and probably the next Port Mafia boss). Right now, he needs to define his role within the organization and outside Mori. As a matter of fact, Mori is Chuya's third father, so to become an adult, Chuya needs to outgrow him. Just like he did with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Only then, he will truly choose who Chuya Nakahara is.
mtp characters as birds (2)
a follow-up to this post (part 1).
and in this part it's gonna be the rest of the moriarty's party + even more fun facts about birbs~
MORAN: a steppe eagle. these birds are large and formidable birds of prey that both hunt live game and don't shy away from scavenging for carrion. and that's exactly the line of thought that i used for an association here. moran, as william's right-hand man, matches this description well: he both hunts down those who are not needed alive anymore, and clears william's path of any filth that could lead to the lord of crime and get in their way. tbh initially he was meant to be an eastern imperial eagle, but i settled for a steppe eagle purely because in my mind, it matches moran's appearance more (as its plumage is quite darker than that of an eastern imperial eagle).
FRED: a shrike! these little cuties look harmless and defenseless, but in reality they're as much fierce hunters as any preying bird. shrikes can eat about anything from insects to vertebrates, including other birds as well, and are known to hunt prey even larger than themselves. but their uniqueness comes from their hunting technique. as shrikes are not true birds of prey (they're passerines), lacking assets that those guys have (like sharp talons), they stalk their prey and ambush it in one swift strike, using their beaks to break victim's neck. and when it comes to killing prey bigger than themselves, they often impale it by carrying and throwing it at sharp barbs or thorns. all in all, they're such cool birdies lol.
anyway, all that yap is just to say that fred's fighting skills and his general role as a spy that hide behind his quiet and kind character (or is it the other way around?) remind me a lot of shrike's behavior and its deceptive nature.
BONDE: right after william, he was the second one with whom i struggled the most, but eventually i've settled on a european bee-eater for him. it's a very beautiful and colorful little bird that imo perfectly reflects james' charm and charisma. but another noticeable thing about bee-eaters (as it's evident from their name lol) is their diet, which consists mostly of, well, bees. sadly, for that reason some beekeepers would often kill them thinking they ruin their hives (which is not the case at all). in a way, that somewhat reminds me of irene adler's fate as well, considering how they endangered themselves for so long while working for a good cause, but then got involved in something far bigger than themselves and just... couldn't handle it, because, despite how talented they are, they're but a human being after all (or a bird being in case of bee-eaters ig).
JACK: ok, it seems like this fancy old man is actually the only one who gets two picks from me lol. you see, i just can't imagine him in his youth and him in his old age to be the same bird. idk, he's like a totally different person, and that's it.
alright, so, the first one, corresponding to his youth, would be a golden eagle. this apex predator perfectly describes jack at his prime, with him being feared by both his foes and allies alike.
the second pick, matching his old butler persona, would be a white stork. tbh it should've been a black stork, as i think its shy and reclusive nature better reflects jack's retirement and living for years as a simple butler, severing any possible connection to his past. and, uhh, bc how could i not include a black stork in a bird list of mine.... my friends would be shocked if they heard about it lool. but then i kinda looked again at this old man and thought that he's. um. if he's old, let him... be old. and look just as glorious for his age even as a bird. :p
MONEYPENNY: a short-eared owl! just... dang. look at how gorgeous these birds are and tell me that moneypenny isn't just as gorgeous as them. honestly, it's one of the few characters/birds where i went mostly by vibe and somewhat by appearance, but gosh that owl looks just like her incarnate, and i can't see it any other way.
VON HERDER: a proud example of a true magpie! he's sooo magpie-coded lol. again, as yet another corvid, magpies are intelligent birds that are also quite playful and energetic. even though them liking shiny/metal things is actually a myth, they're still fond of collecting some little trinkets for building their nests. and i can't help but think of von herder who always does as he pleases and invents all kinds of stuff from nothing. i bet if you give him one day, a can of trash, and leave him in a basement, he'll make you an endless engine because he got too bored. and him loving those strange metal puzzles? so cute. so magpie.
“You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart.”
mtp characters as birds (1)
so, one day i woke up and thought to myself: what kind of birds mtp characters would've been?
and, well. at that point, there really was no going back.
anyway, now that i have some time to put it onto my virtual paper, here's my little rant on the matter. i typed all characters that i could remember, but in this part there're only moriarty & holmes brothers + john.
WILLIAM & LOUIS: i'll be honest here—of all mtp characters, william was the hardest one to name for me. also, initially the brothers had different species assigned to them (which kinda did pair up pretty well tho), but as i had trouble envisioning will as one, i scrapped it and went with the second option. and for the better ig as it makes much more sense now.
so, all that said, my pick for both william and louis is a pair of barn owls.
ngl, barn owls are one of the long-standing favorites of mine. it was kinda natural for me to associate them with a pair of my favorite mtp characters lol. although initially that association hadn't extended to william, upon some thought i've seen the hidden appeal, and now can't imagine him as anything but a barn owl.
these ethereal birds have a lot of symbolic meaning attached to them, the most prominent being that of darkness, doom, and death. being the lord of crime, both william and louis reflect upon those ideas throughout the story a lot. but another meaning, derived from the owl's ability to see through darkness, is that of wisdom, perception, and introspection, and these fit brothers even more so. also, as the lord of crime, they match another motif connected to barn owls—transformation. this one mirrors william's desire to change his country, and louis' determination to change himself for william's sake and the world that william wanted him to see.
lastly, barn owls are simply beautiful birds, and i just think it would've been neat to include them in the list fsjkfsnkjs
ALBERT: 100% a dove. an instant pick here lol (that actually has little to do with charlie). doves as well carry a lot of symbolic meaning, such as peace, purity, freedom, and love. funny enough, albert shares none of those qualities—save for one. he rejected peace once he decided to follow william to the end. he lost his purity when he took the life of his mother. he refused freedom to atone for his (and william's) sins. love is the only thing that albert has left in abundance.
but that is not the line of thinking that i used here. actually, albert being a dove in my mind is more due to his noble status that he hates than anything else. at first, i imagined him as a white dove, one of those specially bred over the centuries kinds. perhaps, even one of the breeds that have suffered some unsavory consequences of inbreeding. but then my eyes fell upon a luzon bleeding-heart, and—
oh. my. god.
that has to be The One.
the feathers on their chests have a bright red coloration that indeed reminds of a bleeding heart. and that's— just such a fascinating piece of symbolism? that fits albert perfectly??
so beautiful.
SHERLOCK: another instant pick— none other than a crow. crows are highly intelligent birds that are also known for their mischievous and playful nature. they're quite undemanding birds that, being opportunistic eaters, can eat almost anything and thrive almost anywhere around the globe.
when a crow, or one of its flockmates, is disturbed, they'll go to no end in holding a grudge against a person who did so. although sherlock isn't the kind of person to hold grudges, he's still quite fierce when it comes to protecting those dear to him, and hunting down criminals in a fit of hyperfixation on a mystery. moreover, crows are not just intelligent, but very curious creatures too, which, again, is yet another scherlock's important characteristic.
so, all things considered, including sherlock's chaotic yet kind and loyal nature, i can't see him as anything but a crow.
JOHN: he's a cute little goldfinch! tbh i went mostly by vibe and appearance here. but i find the symbolism quite fitting as well, as these cuties are most often associated with joy, cheerfulness, persistence, and light-heartedness. and, well, who could've been the embodiment of these qualities if not john?
there's also a profound religious meaning tied to goldfinches, as they are often connected to the image of christ. as i have no real knowledge of theology or religious art, i can't give any commentary on the matter. but i still wanted to mention this fact, because imo someone who could deal with pre-time skip sherlock on daily basis must truly be a saint lol.
MYCROFT: matching sherlock's crow, he's, of course, a raven. but there's more to that decision than me wanting them to resemble each other.
actually, i think there's no one more fitting to be a raven than mycroft, as ravens are the birds that to this day are used to guard the buckingham palace. specifically, they hunt down vermin that dare to stick their noses into the royal domain. to me, that sounds a lot like our lovely government guy here!
royal associations aside, these birds are usually much calmer than crows and generally have a somewhat cooler vibe around them. and, of course, they're intelligent as hell. sherly and mycky really do enhance each other as a pair of a crow and a raven in my eyes, just like william and louis do as a pair of barn owls.
that's it for now! hopefully i'll come back to make other parts as well and share all these beautiful photos of birbs hidden in my stash too...
I know most of us (including me) laughed (quite a lot) on this scene because; Earl Ciel “Sebastian-Kill-Them-All” Phantomhive of all people, is saying something like this about killing people? It sounds so fake and ridiculous right? Hypocritical, even. But I also think it’s rather empathetic of Ciel to say this in front of the Weston boys because he understands that these boys did not murder out of evil intent; it was a crime of passion, not premeditated. I’m sure that in Ciel’s eyes, these upperclassmen of his are still much more innocent than he is—and so when he speaks to them, he is speaking to “normal people”, not serial murderers. But while Ciel does not see the prefects as evil people, he doesn’t infantilize them either. He does not empathize with them trying to justify their actions; because things like school values or reputation is not a worthy cause for these boys to kill someone over. At the same time Ciel may not personally care about the lives of Derrick Arden and the others, but he does not think students should turn into murderers over such menial issues.
In comparison, when he speaks to Joker in BOC, he was unfiltered and candid—he’s speaking of something he personally believes; that deep cynicism and distrust in humanity. Unlike the Weston students, Joker’s actions were premeditated; he planned to kidnap children—knowing they would be abused and turned into some sick plaything before brutally murdered—and methodically eliminated witnesses to avoid getting caught. Joker knew exactly what he was doing when he organized these crimes to sacrifice others for his family’s lives. And yet the way Ciel spoke, he wasn’t passing judgement on Joker at all; he acutely understood the despair of facing injustice with no one lending a helping hand; the desperate wish to protect one’s family and loved ones above what’s considered to be morally correct by society; he knows better than anyone else how hell is paved with good intentions. This too, was incredibly empathetic in a strange way that only Ciel could be. Although Joker lamented their fate as abandoned orphans living in an apathetic society, Ciel does not pity them and thus did not simply reduce them to gullible victims of their circumstances. He did not justify Joker’s actions, and he did not justify his own actions in killing Joker and the circus crew either—he was incredibly self aware and fair; equally as ruthless to other people as with himself. He understood that everyone acted in their own interests. By removing complicated principles of morality out of the equation, he is able to see things clearly and act decisively without ridiculous notions of human morality. After all, what use does he have for it when his soul is already damned anyway?
Ciel keeps away from people and refrains from making personal attachments; and yet he is still very empathetic to each of them without even meaning to. In the flashbacks, he was also depicted to be a sensitive and kindhearted child. Despite everything he has gone through, he still retains a bit of that gentleness and sincerity from his childhood; which I think comes with being naturally emotionally intelligent—he has an unusually acute insight on people which certainly helps his business acumen, and ironically also helps him know how to lie and act in front of other people. While Sebastian is a “master of understanding human desires”, Ciel understands the complexity and most basic nature of humanity better than anyone else; which forms both his cynicism and his own brand of empathy.
Thinking about Buddhism as it relates to Madoka Magica, sadly for the first time as I have no personal frame of reference surrounding the religion as a white Canadian.
I think just as much as Madoka criticizes aspects of Christianity, it is also criticizing Buddhism. Namely that the salvation Buddhists seek in the pursuit of nirvana can rob us of our inherent human experience.
“According to Buddhist tradition, the Buddha taught that attachment or clinging causes dukkha (often translated as "suffering"), but that there is a path of development which leads to awakening and full liberation from dukkha”.
Huh. Attachment and clinging causes suffering… where have we seen-
Homura is the fairly straightforward unideal person in Buddhism. Attachment and clinging in Buddhism is called ‘tanha’, and there are three main pillars of it, each of which Homura represents in Rebellion (and the girls all represent with their wishes):
1. Kama-Tanha: Craving for sensory pleasures. These are usually material things and mostly associated with our base desires, like food, sex, wealth even, etc.
2. Bhava-Tanha: Craving to be something, to exist, to unite with an experience. This one is more difficult to understand; but it seems to relate to the idea of wanting to be important and exist in others’ lives and thoughts.
3. Vibha-Tanha: Craving for non-existence. The desire to not experience unpleasant things, and also the desire for self-annihilation (suicide). Homura exemplifies this one strongly.
Buddhists seek to distance themselves from these things in order to seek nirvana, the cessation of desire and thus of suffering. But when you are left without this ‘suffering’, you are also left without the beautiful things in life.
What is a life worth living without desires? What is life for a god who has no attachments? Madoka Magica through Homura, the antithesis to Buddhist ideals, asks this question blatantly in the Concept Movie Trailer.
What is happiness without delicious food and sunbeams (sensory kama pleasures) or connections and existence (bhava)?
Madoka’s existence as a so called enlightened being in heaven (nirvana) goes against what makes us human beings, and her own happiness in turn.
The cessation of desire, a driving force for basic human emotions, does little but make you emotionless and numb. It disconnects you from relationships. What then is to differentiate you from emotionless Incubators?
Attachment and clinging can bring despair to people like Homura in Rebellion. But in the right circumstances, attachment, desire - it brings happiness and love. It is happiness and love. Without suffering, there is no joy. Is an existence without joy worthwhile?
I've been wondering what is going on with William's hand since forever. Why is he holding it like that and staring at it? Drama for the sake of drama? Never a good answer, even for William.
Then it hit me.
He's remembering, and he's remembering this - not just the sickly child Louis was in general, but this specific moment. The memory of bonding so dear to both of them.
When Louis talks about how important William is to him, he talks about this moment when he felt cherished. It's this memory that keeps him afloat thorough loss and uncertainty.
When William talks about his ego speaking, he's referring to this moment when he felt needed. It's this feeling he's desperate to preserve.
We got this scene from both Louis' and William's POV, and we are not supposed to notice until third, fifth, or tenth reread.
But also,
They put William's weird gesture in chapter 10, knowing it would look like unnecessary dramatics up until chapter 55.
This is the subtlety of Yuumori parallels and testament to its planning.
William and the Fibonacci sequence
While math isn't really the main focus of the story, being a mathematician is still an important element of William's personality and mindset. It's the lens through which he views the world, incorporates experience, and thus gives meaning to things around him.
That's also the reason why I find so peculiar one little remark that he tells Sherlock at their first meeting:
"While that was a slightly forced deduction, you did make quite a good observation. However, rather than the golden ratio, I am more interested in the Fibonacci sequence."
The question is: why in this particular case does William correct Sherlock and specifically point out that he's interested in the Fibonacci sequence, but not in the golden ratio itself? The golden ratio and the Fibonacci sequence are closely intertwined with one another. There isn't any real reason why he would be interested in one thing but not in the other if he were solely curious about the properties of the spiral.
So, maybe, it isn't about the math and the spiral at all?
To answer this question, I'd like to look at the chapter's context first.
In a sense, ch. 5 is quite special by itself, as it represents the point of no return in the story. It has two major points to focus on. One of them is the final introduction of William's grand plan, which he had not revealed in full up until now. Another one is the moment when William meets Sherlock for the first time, or the staircase scene in question.
Now, as William states, at the core of his plan lies "the play of death". He means to turn London into a grand stage, and so, every step he takes is a carefully written plot that has an underlying message and a running theme, connecting one act with the other. Everything is measured and well within his control, as if he were indeed a screenwriter writing a play.
Luring Lord Enders into committing a crime serves to prove William's intention as well. While carefully guiding him to a breaking point, William is even shown to think of each step of his plan as a "scene". And right up to the meeting at the staircase, he ensures to execute this project through and through, not leaving a single possibility unattended, and not a single moment unaccounted for.
In other words, a good chunk of the chapter is dedicated to showing William's approach to what he's doing, as well as to his vision of himself as a director of a play. which he is not, but that's a topic for another time
Coming back to the Fibonacci sequence, it is evident that here it resembles exactly William's grand plan. It's the sequence of actions, or rather deaths, that he intends to carry out. While taking a step back to observe the stairs, he also takes in the whole picture of the stage that he so carefully set, and the actors at play.
But what's even more interesting to me here is the golden ratio and William's lack of attention to it. The golden ratio is an irrational number. It is the limit, towards which all ratios of the sequence must converge, but one that cannot be reached. It's the ideal.
It's William's wish to create the ideal country, or even world, devoid of all humanity's corruption.
So, why won't he look at his ideal, for which he yearns so much?
Being a mathematician, one of William's problems throughout the story is that he's constantly seeking a single, clear-cut solution. He dedicated his whole life to coming up with an equation that could've led him to his desired outcome, his ideal world. And the equation he came up with was that of utilizing the fear of death in people's hearts.
But the reality of a human heart and mind is far more complex for any possible calculation. It's just as irrational and ever-present, as the golden ratio itself.
Seeing how William constantly adjusts his plans, I think that he, as a true mathematician (and a perfectionist to the bone), at one point became far more obsessed with finding the ideal solution for his equation, rather than the end goal itself. On the other hand, he also feels a desperate need to hold every possible thing within his control. And especially Sherlock Holmes, who very much dislikes playing his assigned role in William's play.
But another reason would be that William must really not be able to imagine how this beautiful world of his is supposed to look, as he never intended to see it for himself.
In William's eyes, he's just another one of many numbers in the sequence.
Another devil to die before wrapping up the ultimate solution that he was searching for all this time.
THE ORIGINAL SIN AND TEMPTATION - MILVERTON VS. ALBERT
Moriarty the Patriot is full of religious themes and references and one of them is the tale of the Original Sin. It is told in the third chapter of the Bible, in Moses' first book and it's about how the first humans, Adam and Eve committed the first, the Original Sin due to the temptation of the Serpent who made them eat from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil what was forbidden for them by God.
Milverton and Albert both bring up this tale - now I will analyze how they look at it and view their actions regarding the Original Sin and how they tempted their victims (at least, in Milverton's case) - Whiteley and William - to sin.
In Albert's case, the Original Sin appears in chapter 63 during the Empty Hearts arc when Albert, after the Final Problem, was imprisoned in the Tower. He views William's fate as his Original Sin, that he was the one who made William the Lord of Crime. Albert loathed the world's current state when he was young and wanted to change it what led to a tragedy. He realized that he doesn't have the wisdom, neither the power to change the world - and that's when he met William and hears how he talks about his ideal world. He adopts William (and Louis) because he thinks that through his noble status, William can do the change Albert wishes for. He admits that he saw Christ in William.
Albert already decided to kill his family by that time but he was unable to do it on his own so he asks William if he would kill for his ideals. In the end, the murder of Albert's family is done by William and Albert's hands and Albert seems to blame himself for it even long, long years later. Not for the death of his family, but to make William a murderer. He talks about himself that he tempted William to sin because he himself was afraid to sin, that it was him who robbed William of his innocence and made him a murderer and later, the Lord of Crime. He even compares himself to the devil for this action.
When it comes to Milverton - whose Original Sin speech appears in chapter 37, during the White Knight arc - he talks about the Original Sin when he tempted Whiteley to sin. However, unlike in Albert's case who talks about his reasons why he tempted William to sin, Milverton's speech is not about Whiteley specifically, just generally about the reason behind temptation - for devils, those who are pure evil, nothing brings greater pleasure than tempting the good-hearted to sin and he himself is pure evil. And while Albert feels guilt and self-hatred for tempting William, Milverton feels pride and joy. For Albert, making William to sin was a mere tool for the ideal world, for Milverton, tempting the good-hearted is the goal and all he does is for that end. That's where the necessary evil vs. pure evil contrast between the Lord of Crime (which is also Albert) and Milverton comes to picture again.
But there are also similarities between the two temptations. While Milverton doesn't compare Whiteley to Christ, he is very much sees himself as a hero and that's what draws him to him, just like Albert became interested in William just because he saw Christ in him. Both William and Whiteley was fighting for an ideal world but while the temptation of William led to this ideal world, the temptation of Whiteley pushed away from it (even when Milverton himself was not against equality, he was after Whiteley because he was good.) Both temptations led to a family being murdered and the target of the temptation committing murder. Both Milverton and Albert talks how they dragged Whiteley and William down from their innocence to a murderer.
(Btw, Milverton here actually says OUR side, not MY side. The importance of that will go for a later analysis)
When it comes to Albert, he feels bigger guilt than his actual crime was (but Albert is after all, like that.) The child William talks about killing the evil nobles, so he already had these intentions in his heart, he already knew that the world can only be changed through evil methods, it was actually not Albert who planted these thoughts into him. William was also ready to kill Albert's family before Albert asked him to do so, so Albert didn't manipulate William into a crime (as he thinks) while Milverton truly blackmailed Whiteley (and Sturridge. And that police officer) into committing murder. Albert also took part in the crime, he was the one who killed his mother, while Milverton uses people to set up murder scenes and doesn't dirty his own hands. Albert thinks his Original Sin through years after the happenings, Milverton is during the actual happenings. Albert probably didn't think that it was like the Original Sin for him back then, Milverton is actively aim for a temptation. And talking about his crime as an Original Sin as HIS Original Sin, the first sin he committed is sensible to do in Albert's case, but for Milverton, what he did was not his first, HIS Original Sin.
So despite that they both talked discussing the same religious theme (and the same art is used) their approach regarding it - while having certain similarities on the surface - are fundamentally different. It was very interesting to analyze this through, I'm sad that we didn't see Milverton and Albert having a conversation about the Original Sin.
There has been a great deal of discussion about what would appeal to the character of William James Moriarty—what dishes he would enjoy, which types of tea he would favor, how he would sleep, and so on. But let’s focus instead on what he would not like.
The desire to live in aesthetics—have you ever considered how utopian and absurd it is, how pro-capitalist it is, thereby representing a piece of the foundation for class inequality? In our time, every "aesthetic" is nothing more than a consumption product, as everyone who wishes to be part of it is not an innovator but a consumer. It represents the final stage not just of the capitalist social structure but of fading thought. People are divided not only into masculinity and femininity, classes, but into entire groups defined by a particular "aesthetic," which in turn fosters stereotyping and limited thinking.
When we see someone in a classic outfit with the hashtag "dark academia," we automatically assume they represent a developed member of society. Do not mistake my words—this is not about individuals but the bubble they stand under, unknowingly supporting. Many of us are familiar with Donna Tartt’s widely acclaimed novel, "The Secret History." This book did not fulfill its purpose. Fans of the book like to argue and say that it satirizes the romanticization of bourgeois pseudo-intellectual lifestyles—yet it failed to do so. Each of Tartt’s books, which has become a symbol of the "dark academia" aesthetic wave, was not written to embed ideas in the masses but rather for mindless consumption.
The need to "aestheticize" has led to the aestheticization and exploitation of religions, books, writers, incorrect historical facts, and misguided interpretations of literature.
In the term "dark academia," there is a lot of darkness and very little "academia," because currently, the books associated with this category do not provide food for thought. It has become more about ties and suits, shirts and chessboards. No, you can’t be both Albert Camus and Fyodor Dostoevsky—have you actually read their works? Have you delved into their contexts, the conditions under which they wrote, and, most importantly, the historical periods they were writing in? Where they were born and what influenced them? Clearly, no.
And this is where the pursuit of so-called "aestheticism" becomes a catastrophe. It is not done for the sake of knowledge, which should always be shared—bringing something to society. It is done for a couple of photos, a few videos, and a few out-of-context quotes from books.
The very popularization of a book that has clearly failed to achieve its purpose, along with the continued use of "prominent" names in Russian literature, stands as evidence of my argument. This wave of aestheticization is nothing more than yet another elegant veil of pseudo-intellectualism.
This is precisely why I cannot take seriously the fans of William who present themselves in this manner. William would never have appreciated all this decorative frippery; he would have condemned it outright.
Lanzhou and Control
[spoilers up to chapter 220ish]
So I’ve been working on a future post and have been rereading my personal chapter summaries and notes. As I refreshed my memory and even reread some specific chapters, I ended up asking google a question that sent me to an interesting Reddit post.
Basically someone said they didn’t understand why Shen Zechuan initiated intercourse in chapters 40-41. Someone else gave a very thoughtful reply which you can read here, but the part I’m focusing on for this post is Shen Zechuan’s relationship with control. The replier shared, amongst other things, that Shen Zechuan gave Xiao Chiye control in that situation.
I actually just reread chapter 40 today and noticed that on page 413 of vol. 1 it says “Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to gather his wrists into one hand”. I never really thought much of that phrase in my previous readings of volume 1, but I feel like that it only really sunk in for me after getting better acquainted with their relationship as it developed.
Throughout the story it’s repeated over and over how both leads HATE having their lives out of their hands. Xiao Chiye despises that he was forced away from his family and home. And Shen Zechuan hates how he was held at the mercy of others for years as well; vowing to never be in such a position again. Both of these individuals crave freedom. And yet, Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to do as he pleased with him.
Now, their first time being intimate has a lot of nuance to it. They both used that moment to escape reality for a time. And this particular instance of relinquished autonomy literally had Shen Zechuan expecting to be handled roughly. But once their relationship developed into a mutual romance, time and time again, Shen Zechuan surrenders control, letting Xiao Chiye take the lead, and following his whims.
I’m currently at chapter 220 and while some of their unions still have escapist undertones, there are still pure romantic moments where Shen Zechuan completely gives himself up to Xiao Chiye. And I think it shows a key difference in these two’s desire for control: Xiao Chiye likes to dominate by nature while Shen Zechuan feels like he has to for survival. Not to call Xiao Chiye a freak, but bro is literally described as enjoying fights, likes the struggle of taming wild animals, and is possessive as hell! While Shen Zechuan’s need for control stemmed from being abused by others throughout his life. When he’s not in control, he gets hurt. So that told him when he’s in control, he can protect himself.
I have taken mental note of a few scenes during Shen Zechuan’s conquering Zhongbo era where he’s tired or even annoyed by the work that goes into running essentially a country. But why doesn’t he delegate those tasks to others? Because unless he is genuinely incapable of getting the job done himself, he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. He’s also stated several times that he doesn’t desire to be at the top: two examples that immediately came to mind being in chapter 70 when Xiao Chiye asks “Don’t you want a turn at the top?” and in Shen Zechuan’s conversation with Yao Wenyu in chapter 146. While in both of these instances he was bluffing, part of me thinks there is at least a semblance of truth to the statement.
When he lived with the Jis in Duanzhou, he was content with his simple life. He wanted to be like his brother and become a squad commander one day, but that’s nowhere near as ambitious as taking over and bringing peace to several prefectures. He was happy. And then his world was flipped upside down.
While I don’t think he necessarily regrets the path he is on now, he definitely misses simpler times. In chapter 209 Shen Zechuan says he forced himself to stop thinking about his days in Duanzhou because remembering those times make him cry. He was forcefully removed from a life he loved, and thrusted into the middle of a violent political struggle.
All of this to say, while Shen Zechuan is implied to be a natural leader and has a domineering nature, it isn’t really a position he chose to be in. Every action he takes is deeply calculated from multiple angles for the best possible outcome. Even carefully crafting his persona to attempt to control how he’s perceived. And living your life like that is DRAINING!
Oh man, Shen Zechuan is tired 😩
But when he’s with Xiao Chiye, he can turn his brain off. He can forget about his meetings. Forget about trying to watch everything the other enemy factions are doing. Forget about trying to put up a front as to not scare those around him with his true self. He can melt into Xiao Chiye and think of nothing but him.
I think the real turning point in their relationship was in the Public Ditches arc. Shen Zechuan is literally out of commission for several days due to illness and Xiao Chiye came to watch him every single night. Shen Zechuan had no choice but to let Xiao Chiye take care of him… but the tenderness Xiao Chiye showed him? The genuine concern? The comforting whispers and cuddles? It left an impression on Shen Zechuan.
I think Xiao Chiye’s sincerity truly shined through to him in those moments. None of those actions were necessary, and yet Xiao Chiye ran himself ragged handling his professional work and his silly little guy.
Shen Zechuan being cherished in such a vulnerable moment showed him that he could really trust Xiao Chiye. Half a decade before, people in power took advantage of Shen Zechuan and pinned the deaths of tens of thousands on a confused and delirious teenaged boy, while this big love struck dummy showed Shen Zechuan an intimacy he had never experienced before. And that’s so beautiful I could cry.
Shen Zechuan doesn’t need to be on his guard around Xiao Chiye, and Xiao Chiye likes being a leader. Shen Zechuan has his trusted confidant and Xiao Chiye tamed his falcon. …well, work in progress. His falcon still gets himself hurt carelessly.
Shen Zechuan needed stability and someone to lean on. And he found that in Xiao Chiye.
I have so many thoughts. OMG I’m so unwell about these two. I started writing this at 3am and forced myself to go to bed and finish it upon waking up. They drive me crazy. All the worm in my brain are Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye shaped!!!
In my next essay I shall explore why they rolepla—
One day, he will come back, bathed in blood. He will tap me on the head and say to me with a smile,
“You’re the true Lord Arakawa.”
Meta on "Thank you" and "Sorry" in MDZS
Inspired out of spite by a post where someone said Lan Wangji not wanting to hear thank you and sorry from Wei Wuxian in the novel is stupid because healthy couples need communication and this is why CQL is better. LMAOO
OK. Before starting I want to point out that one of the themes of the novel and Wei Wuxian's characterisation is the concept of indebtedness and owings . It is one of the reasons why he is so dutiful towards the Jiangs and why he sacrifices his golden core and the reason he resurrects Wen Ning.
The words Thank you and Sorry are very significant in the story and are very explicitly tied to the above mentioned themes. They are the words Wen Qing says to Wei Wuxian in her parting because she feels indebted towards Wei Wuxian as he has protected her and the rest of Wen remnants and even resurrected Wen Ning on her request. Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian have a cycle of debts where they both believe they owe each other. [Just to clarify I don't think it's just indebtedness that defines their relationship but it's definitely there ].In the next life Wei Wuxian uses the exact pair of words on Jin Ling as he owes him for insulting his parents whose deaths are caused by him.
As you can see these words are explicitly associated with indebtedness and owing.
Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian unconditionally. He obviously wants Wei Wuxian to return his feelings BUT he does not want Wei Wuxian to do so out of indebtedness or gratitude. Whenever Wei Wuxian says thank you to him, the narration describes as him being tense and sad, the cause of this is as I described earlier and also because in the past whenever they have exchanged these words they have parted on bad terms.
The text is very explicit about this.
"Lan Zhan you're really scared of me telling you 'thank you', aren't you? I suddenly remembered many of the times we parted ways in my past life, I said 'thank you' to you right before. And every time we separated, I worsened the next time we met"
The time they killed Wen Chao and Wen ZhuLiu at the courier station, the time they met each other through the flowers at the towers in Yunmeng, the time they parted at Yiling's Burial Mound. Every time, he used that word to mark a clear line between him and Lan Wangji, stretching out the distance between them.
The word that finally breaks their makeout session in the inn is one thank you from Wei Wuxian where Lan Wangji snaps as he believes Wei Wuxian is only doing this out of gratitude towards him and not because he returns his feelings. It is insulting and heartbreaking to him and he is angry because of this.
When the conflict is resolved with Wei Wuxian's confession that includes :
"... I swear it's not the heat of the moment or joking around like I have done in the past. I'm not doing it out of gratitude either. Anyways, it's not because of anything else. I really just like you so much."
He deliberately clarifies that there are no feelings of gratitude or indebtedness involved in reciprocating Lan Wangji's feelings.
"Between you and me, there is no need for 'thank you' and 'sorry'."
This line by Lan Wangji defines how he views their relationship i.e without indebtedness or owings. So far all the relationships that Wei Wuxian had been a part of have the feeling of obligation and indebtedness, the Jiangs for raising him and Wen siblings for rescuing him and helping him out . Ofcourse he loves them but indebtedness and his sense of duty to repay them are also his major motivations. He takes drastic steps because of this and we all know how they turned out. Lan Wangji doesn't want this kind of relationship with him, the one he had with others in the past. He wants him to be free of ever feeling like that he owes Lan Wangji something.
Thank you and sorry are not just courtesy words here but carry a hurtful baggage and choosing not to use them isn't a miscommunication but freeing from the feeling of obligations.
I definitely read Mo Xuanyu’s “bad” make-up as being intentional. He wasn’t out here trying to look like a pretty, delicate flower. He wanted his appearance to be confronting. He wanted to externalise his feelings. WWX looks at that face and thinks he looks like a corpse and that’s exactly what MXY was going for.
We don’t get a direct look at MXY’s state of mind at all, and other characters think he’s just ~bad at make-up~ because he’s ~crazy~ but actually he independantly invented being a goth. I love that boy.
“Lan Zhan! Let me ask you, back then, under the Xuanwu cave in Dusk-Creek Mountain, the song that you sang me, what was its name?”
“Why do you suddenly remember to ask about this?”
“Just say it. What was its name? I think I might’ve guessed how you recognized me.”
Wen Ning: *sends a voice message to WWX*
Wei Wuxian: (texting) I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Wen Ning: (texting) No, don’t worry, just listen later.
[later]
Wei Wuxian: *presses play*
Wen Ning’s voice message: THERE’S A FIRE—
Eren Jaeger’s Final Words
So there are many people unimpressed with the final statement given by Eren’s character, either finding it inconsistent with the build up to this point, or too ambiguous a motivation for trampling all over the world. I’m not really here to talk about the quality of the story, whether it was good or bad, because I don’t really care. However, I think it’s fascinating what the text is trying to say about Eren’s character and his motivation.
This is why, “I don’t know, shrug” is both an answer and not an answer to why Eren did what he did in the end. For making my point in this analysis, I’ll be talking about Eren’s character from Marley on showing both the Eren that appeared before Reiner, the one that talked to Zeke, and finally the one Armin saw are all the same person.
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on that day, humanity recieved a grim reminder...
today i want to present you Gabi ‘i don’t fucking care about Falco’ Braun:
yeah
she doesn’t give a shit about Falco just at all
bonus:
