Did What I Had To Do

Zayne and sylus next

Opening my shop tmr !

https://gachahugs.bigcartel.com/

this is what happened in think i dont know

the getaway driver & his gunman | theyre the duo you probably didnt want to run into on the road at night 🏍💨

Another commission done for @anime !! This time based off Crashing by ILLENIUM. I thought this song would be perfect for killugon as they reunite in the future (and god I’m a huge sap for the lyrics to this aahhh). Also I had to do a comic for this, one image alone couldn’t express how this song made me feel!!!

Thanks again for commissioning me, Shawn!! :D

I like to think that while we're seeing Hirano discover his feelings in real time, Kagi is hopefully seeing the signs, too. You can't just casually tell the person you've been half assed rejecting for months that you love them out of nowhere. Seeing is believing in every sense in this case. Kagi pays so much attention to Hirano, it'd be impossible for him not to notice something changing.

As for Hirano himself, it probably won't be big news to him like Miyano's realization. He's already starting to notice his feelings, so he's likely suspecting of it even when he isn't actively trying to figure himself out. His "aha" moment would more than likely be that moment that he realizes that romantic love can manifest as easily as a comfortable companionship as it can a heart racing tryst. That there's no right way to love someone.

Once he accepts it, sometimes it's overwhelming - after Kagi gets home from a game or practice and radiates happiness, when he pouts because there are green peppers in his dinner, when he falls asleep at his desk after dedicating himself to studying for exams - all of those times he can only think of how much he loves him. Payback for all the times he's ever made Kagi's heart race with his insane antics.

So how does Hirano deal with it?

Touch.

He starts breaking the ten second rule little by little. I mean, he's already starting to. Once Kagi realizes it's been getting progressively longer and says something, Hirano drops the rule altogether. Starts letting Kagi lay his head in his lap when he comes home from practice, petting his hair while he starts to fall asleep on his lap. But it's not enough because now he wants to hold him, too. So during lap time he starts lazily tracing messages on Kagi's face once he falls asleep.

だ-い-す-き (I really like you)

あ-い (love)

こ-い-び-と (lover)

One day when he's half asleep himself, he starts doing it out of habit without checking to make sure Kagi is asleep first. Kagi notices. So he starts staying awake to see if he does it again. And there they are, the same words. Until one day Hirano draws "I love you" on his forehead and Kagi can't keep the facade up, whispers just loud enough so Hirano can hear but quiet enough so as not to startle him, "I love you too, Hirano-san."

So, the cat's out of the bag, he guesses.

What now?

I see people posting things like, "Why are you some people obsessed with proving your ship is canon? Who even wants their ships to be canon, it's more fun when it's not?"

I get where people are coming from with this sentiment--it is fun to have your own headcanons, your own control of how you're interpreting the characters, not being reliant on what canon gives you, etc. I'm very much in favor of people doing whatever they want in fanworks, canon be damned! Ship what you want, go wild, ignore canon altogether if you want!

But with HxH and especially Gon and Killua, it IS important to me how essentially canon it is for a number of reasons. One of these is that the bond between them is one of the main emotional cores of the series, and to reduce it down to "Haha no homo! They're just bros! If you see it in ways other than that you're delusional!" is a disservice to what Togashi is writing--and it's essentially willfully misreading the source material.

Obviously, no one is obligated to ship it themselves, no one is obligated to like seeing it in a romantic light, but it irks me when people pick apart all the incredible nuance and beautiful details in HxH, all the rich subtext and meaning, and then pretend that the very present subtext and romantic framing between Gon and Killua isn't there at all. Especially as throughout the years I continue to learn more about Togashi and look even more deeply into HxH and it becomes increasingly more and more crystal clear how intentional it seems, how much of this is thoughtfully put in there for people to pick up on.

There's so much shounen out there that puts on a veneer of gayness--essentially giving the audience just enough vaguely gay things for the female audience (as well as gay audience, etc.) to latch on to for marketing/merchandise reasons, while mostly pushing het ships in the canon material officially. (And I'm not saying in all cases it's like that, but I do think that's the trend specifically with shounen series.) With Togashi, it very much seems like he creates it out of his own genuine personal interest and because that's the story he wants to tell--the kind of story he's wanted to tell for a long time and can get away with now because of changing social norms and the fact that he's already incredibly popular and he owns HxH outright.

And as someone who loves Togashi's storytelling--all of it, not just the gay parts, of course--I care about what he's trying to create and intending to convey and it bothers me to see people outright denying it out of their own biases. I feel like people who deny it's there or refuse to see it in that way at all are missing a big chunk of the series, an important and intentional part of the series. (And this extends to other parts of the series that are queer, too, like Alluka for instance. There's so much in HxH that is queer in some way! Denying it all is there is ridiculous!)

And again, it doesn't mean people have to ship it, everyone is allowed to see what's there and ultimately choose to see it in a platonic way if they want, it's more when I see outright denial that this is the author's intent when all signs point to it being so that bothers me.

I think part of this is people just being casual viewers/readers of the series (though some of it is pretty blatant IMHO) and not being aware of all the Deep Lore that points to it being way more than in your average shounen, but a LOT of it is simply homophobia. It's frustrating being in a fandom for years where there are a bunch of people who go about picking apart all the nen powers and the beauty of Chimera Ant Arc in exhaustive detail and then utterly and completely deny that there are sound, well-documented reasons why a large part of the fandom sees it as a gay/queer work.

So hopefully this explains some of why I bother to argue the canon aspect at all, and why I think it matters to a lot of people specifically in HxH fandom.

fengqing week day 3: your divine statue 🌟

i made a mistake and thought this was a sfw prompt

fu yao has a huge crush on general nan yang btw 😌

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