I Think All This Online Discourse Is Eroding My Ability To See People In Social Justice Spaces As Potentially

whole lotta talk about transfems being transandrophobic and not enough talk about transmascs being transandrophobic. its just as bad and definitely something that happens in irl spaces

Oh! Apparently transandrophobes are now being very mask off with the fact that they are the same community as truscum/transmeds, 2019 exclus, and every other "grrr other queer people" group!

If transmascs were saying "erm transfems being v-coded is just as bad as my dysphoria over not having balls" then people would lose their shit about it (as they should, because it's objectively not true and also an incredibly transmisogynistic thing to say), but somehow it's okay for TRFs to pull out the pitchforks when transmascs say that forced pregnancy as a form of detransition is worse than womb dysphoria???

The double-standards in this community baffle me.

Feb 4, 2025 - Thousands of Los Angeles high school students walked out of class and marched on the city capitol in third straight day of Anti-ICE protests. (Source)

PROTESTS ARE HAPPENING. THEY ARE JUST NOT BEING COVERED OUTSIDE OF LOCAL MEDIA OUTLETS. DO NOT RELY ON MAINSTREAM MEDIA.

There was a huge Trans-rights demonstration last night in New York outside of NYU Langone hospital in protest of their decision to halt gender-affirming care under Trump's order. (Source)

it's actually crazy to me the way people will just say regular 2014 style truscum shit except change "fakers" and "fetishists" and "hurting trans people" to "theyfabs" and "internalized transmisogyny" and "hurting trans women" & everyone eats that shit up like they're starving. I thought we learned but yall really are just memorizing buzzwords huh

Hey y’all; would be real interested to hear from anyone willing to share and discuss, about other people’s experiences of transandrophobia specifically in fandom spaces.

I guess I’m just trying to find some more solidarity about the issue since fandom is such an escapism hobby and when that gets tainted, it really, really sucks.

Some of my own experiences include (tw: sa mention | tw: dv):

- Getting told I can’t write realistic gay mlm sex scenes because I’m a trans gay man not a cisgender gay man (but the cisgender woman who said it to me can write realistic gay mlm sex??? 🤔 make it make sense)

- Getting told it’s fetishistic for me specifically to write about male characters in anything but platonic relationships

- Getting mocked after mentioning not being able to watch an episode of a show because there was a male rape scene and as a rape survivor that identifies as male, it was too triggering. Cue the ‘men can’t be raped’ and ‘you’re not actually a man if you say you were raped’ comments. Then having a gif of the rape scene in question sent to me via PM as a ‘joke’.

- Talked about having some empathy for a character who experienced intimate partner violence because of my own experience. Getting told by someone relatively prominent in that fandom that it’s different because those are ‘two male characters’ and that I ‘deserved’ the domestic abuse I experienced with my ex because I’m a trans man who ‘tricked’ a gay man into being with me. (For the record my partner was bi and he knew I was trans before we got together, but fuck me I guess!)

It actually really bothers me how most people are way more willing to listen to TERFs who claim to be detransitioned trans men who initially transitioned for all the TERF talking point reasons (wanting to escape misogyny, just not loving their bodies enough, hating women/femininity, peer pressure, manipulation by doctors etc) than to actual trans men.

It reminds me of the satanic panic when you had all these people claiming to be former members of satanic cults who went around giving interviews about how they used to kill babies in evil satanic orgy rituals but then they saw the error in their ways, started going to church & now they're on a heroic mission to save other people from going down that road that definitely exists. Meanwhile the actual satanists at the time were doing none of that. But of course nobody ever talked to them. Because the truth wasn't as dramatic.

It's the worst when other trans people do it & spread transphobic conspiracy theories about transmisogynistic trans men siding with radfems, being seduced by their ideology enough to detransition & then become TERFs.

Oh where did you hear about that being a thing that happens enough to be a common trend? From TERFs who claim they used to be trans men but then detransitioned after learning that radfeminism is the truth & the light? Of course, they sure have no reason to be lying about that. Especially when they are random anonymous people online. I can totally see why you'd choose to believe what fucking TERFs tell you about the experiences of your fellow trans people, sure, why the fuck not?

the main reason i am such an active advocate for trans solidarity and trans unity is precisely because i know from experience how much adopted radfem ideas hurts the trans community.

i used to hate myself for being a trans man! i used to believe i wasn't truly oppressed despite the very real transandrophobia i faced! i used to make "i hate all men too don't worry im sorry for my fellow men" jokes! and it made me fucking feel like shit!

as an older and wiser man, i now know the difference between productive discussions of misogyny, and straight up radfem bootlicking!

if i can find at least one trans boy like i was and help them unlearn what i thought as a baby trans, i would be the happiest man alive

I just realized why trans radfems piss me off so much more than cis ones, cis radfems are idiots who got wrapped in or concluded themselves that being trans is a choice and that the ridged social structures that need a police state to inforce it somehow concerned with biology, TRANS radfems went through a whole ass transition (while saying that trans is short for transition the same way that any other radfem does) and THEN somehow unlearned everything that they and other transfems had to deal with growing up or literally ignore the things that they and other transmascs go through now for some semblance of comfort that they think is more important than not throwing their community under the bus

Yep, they're traitors, through and through

I can't guarantee that "the one person who understands me [OP]" is a radfem, but with how many I block it's easy to assume

can I say something mean. I think the obsession some guys have with """transandrophobia""" is just like, they thought transitioning would magically make gender not a prison. and then they continue to experience gender (which is a prison) and get confused because they stopped being a woman shouldn't it all be better now??? and it's not (because gender is a prison, even if conforming with it gives you privilege over others) but they lack the introspection and awareness to make that connection. so instead they go "no it must be the trans women who are oppressing me"