Oh Besties... We've Got A Live One On Our Hands...

I got back into ATLA, and I've gotta talk about how Aang may have wanted Katara, but he needed Toph.

Aang needed someone who would challenge him, not someone who would be his "safe haven". While Katara often coddled/mothered Aang, Toph was always his equal. The two of them could have fun together without the mother-son/big sister-little brother undertones Kataang had. Katara always sheltered Aang, which is why he never grew and developed as a character, not even as an adult. If Toph saw Aang emotionally neglect two of their three kids because only one was an Airbender, she would have, 100%, put him back in his place because she never sugar-coated ANYTHING and faced problems head-on.

THIS is who I wanted Aang to end up with. Toph might not have been the one he wanted, but she was the one he needed.

These two were made for each other, just like Zuko and Katara (the two characters with the strongest emotional connection in the entire show, who understood one another like no one else + let's not forget all the romantic coding, thematic significance and symbolism that their dynamic is full of)

Huh. Cute!

I still have some thoughts about season 3, and I'm sure as hell gonna throw them out there.

So, after watching the new season I realised something with full force. Up until now I felt kinda bad about thinking critically about Eric's choices.

But oh, not anymore do I feel bad about it.

Because you see, seeing as his personality basically went to the shitter this season at first I thought "hey, that's so unexpected!". But then I realised, it wasn't unexpected at all.

A lot of people gave Adam shit back in season 2, because Eric cheated with him on Rahim.

But like... Eric cheated on Rahim.

It was Eric's decision to:

1. Kiss Adam during detention.

2. See him when he reached out after coming back from military school, throwing pebbles at Eric's window that first time.

And it was Eric's decision to continue meeting Adam at night behind Rahim's back, the pieces of broken porcelain on his nightstand a testament to the fact that he kept on making the choice to go back to Adam despite being in a relationship already.

And then, he said Adam's full of shame and that, essentially, he can't be with him if Adam isn't out.

So, Adam came out to the entire school, by declaring his feelings for Eric.

But it still isn't enough for Eric.

Because now he wants Adam to come out to his mum. And Eric seems to suddenly have zero idea about how strained Adam's relationship with both of his parents is. Even though in the first two seasons he seemed really perceptive when it came to Adam. It seemed he could see right through Adam's thick shell, having at least the faintest idea that there must be something more to this guy than what meets the eye.

Adam is trying so hard to be the person that Eric wants him to be. In season 3 Rahim asks Adam "and what about you? What do you like?", and honestly, I'm shocked by how refreshing such treatment of Adam was. Because nobody except Ola seemed genuinely interested in Adam himself before, in his thoughts and what he has to say. I honestly thought I could include Eric in that little group, but now I see very clearly, that I can't, and I never really could.

And then of course there's also the issue of the two of them having sex.

Eric really wants to, and Adam does too it would seem, but he has trouble voicing what it is he actually wants.

And it just worries me, because this is the second instance of Adam being under the pressure to have specific kind of sex with his partner, and he isn't given understanding or patience in the matter.

What's bad is that it also makes it seem like only the kind of sex when you're inside someone or someone is inside you is "real" sex and real, ultimate form of intimacy, and that if you don't get that in your relationship, it somehow nullifies all other instances of intimacy that aren't inherently sexual in nature.

Can we form a prayer circle with the thought that third time's the charm and that the next person Adam's dating will be patient and understanding with him in all matters, including intimacy and sex?

Eric thinks Adam is embarrassing quite a lot in season 3, and gives him way less credit than is due. Slowly I started to realise that Eric never really saw Adam for who he was.

And Adam was trying so hard. He was learning to be vulnerable and open, he said "I love you" first, he was getting out of his comfort zone to make Eric happy. But it still isn't enough for Eric.

Because now he's at a family wedding in Nigeria and he meets a stranger who brings him to a club and kisses him.

And Eric admits to it and instead of just apologising and saying that it didn't mean anything, he says that it meant something. He says that it wasn't nothing.

Adam has been trying so hard to be someone deserving of Eric's love, and yet he wasn't enough. Again.

Do you perhaps wonder whether he heard his father's voice in his head at that moment?

Do you think that the boy he loved so much suddenly reminded him so vividly of the man who by all accounts was supposed to love him, but somehow always managed to only bring him down, make him feel like he meant nothing?

Because I do.

I think that Adam's heart got absolutely shattered on that bridge.

We'll burn the bridge when we get to it, eh?

I think that he has been feeling like less than enough for so many years, and now, suddenly having this person he loved, and who he thought loved him, he saw a little light at the end of the tunnel.

Only to have this light be snuffed out right in front of his eyes.

Because I don't think Eric really loved Adam, or that he loved Rahim for that matter. I think that perhaps Eric knew what kind of love he wanted in theory, so he was following a script he has written in his head. But when reality sets in and he gets bored, or he realises that his boyfriend isn't the way he would like him to be exactly, he goes and cheats, feeling no remorse whatsoever.

And just, I hate that. I hate that so much.

And I most of all hate the girlbossification of the moment right after he broke up with Adam. It was framed by the narrative as some sort of triumph, an "everybody makes mistakes" kind of moment. A "we're wild, young and free, let's live our lives and think of the consequences later". Not to mention that it was mixed with the atmosphere of the end of Otis' arc this season, which was feeling very life affirming given that his mum was on the brink of death, but she was now okay, and he also had his newborn little sister.

But Eric Effiong is not Hannah Montana.

He has now hurt two people in a very similar manner, all because he has not taken the time to know himself or know what he truly wants. In the end I would not be surprised if it was Eric that is actually full of shame that is just laying unresolved and covered with obscene amounts of fake confidence.

But we will see about that, won't we?

In the end, both Eric and Otis have hurt some people really badly this season, and making it feel appropriate to end the season on a high note with that thought in mind is just in poor taste in my opinion.

I really, genuinely hope that Eric will get his shit together in season 4. Because as of right now, I really cannot stand him. He used to be who I considered to be the best character on the show, but now I can say with full confidence that he is not.

Finding yourself should not be an excuse for treating people like shit. You can really do that without breaking hearts.

But I guess Eric doesn't know that, does he?

Will anything ever bring us as much joy and comedic bliss as the reveal of Jason Mendoza? Will I ever feel as alive as I did in that moment when Jason utters the words "heaven is so racist"? Will there ever be a moment in time that slaps me so hard in the face with surprise as the moment Jianu the monk rapidly turns into Jason the Jacksonville dirtbag? Will we as a society ever capture that kind of magic again?

So…. Teenage Bounty Hunters.

Came for the wlw content, but enjoyed the series as a whole. It’s mix slapstick comedy, teenage drama and procedural that’ll make you keep hitting “next episode.” April and Sterling’s story doesn’t come in ‘til late into the season though (it starts tailend of episode 6 and there are 10 episodes in all.) Still, their story was taken at a nice pace and everything felt like a natural unfolding.

In summary: watch Teenage Bounty Hunters if you want light dumb fun show with wlw content

so today was my first day back at camp and this years basically my first year where im like being a full on girl at camp and so like i was with my group today which is mostly kids whove known me for like 3 years at this point and one kid who knows me less well and like this kids 9 right so he asks me if im a boy or a girl like right off the bat cuz well, hes 9. I tell him im a girl and one of the other kids is like What!? no youre not. and im like i sure am. Another kid asks “then why were you a boy last year?” im like getting ready to figure out how the hell im gonna explain this to a kid in like 4 seconds. and then another kid asks “omg was you pretending to be a boy just an elaborate joke you and the other counselors were playing on us?!??” i just kinda stand there and im like………………………… yes. they all get cracked up because they think me pretending to be a boy was like, the funniest, most long term prank that has ever been committed to them and like i gotta say, i wholeheartedly agree that being amab is just a fucking joke.

Say what you want about tiktok but the trend of writing the captions onto the video? That’s super helpful/inclusive for deaf/HH people (and even people who don’t speak a language natively etc) and I just think that’s kinda cool.

So many platforms have videos that aren’t accessible to people, but it’s become the norm on tiktok to caption the videos and that’s pretty nice. Also since the captions are actually on the video, that means when it gets reposted to other websites it is still accessible!

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.