Latest Posts by bi-babe-y - Page 2
Zutara, romance novels, and the female gaze
Okay so I’ve been thinking about the female gaze a LOT so I checked out a subreddit about romance novels, despite never having read one. I came across this meme (which was initially a Tumblr post and then got posted to Instagram and then to Reddit and I’m now bringing back to Tumblr — Internet telephone, pls never change):
And…what is The Southern Raiders, if not a platonic grovel? Katara’s pain is central to the episode. It’s central to Zuko. Zuko asks Katara what he can do to make up for his betrayal; she demands the impossible. He reads between the lines, cockblocks her brother to get the necessary information, and then waits outside her door overnight (which he also did for Iroh, the one person we know for sure he loves). He basically makes himself a receptacle for her rage, and he holds space for her by coming with her on her revenge quest and carrying their bags and not saying a damn thing about what she should and should not do beyond like…asking her to rest. And obviously the grovel works! She forgives him and then they’re thick as thieves, bantering and fighting and saving each other’s lives, etc.
On a different note, I’ve been told that enemies to lovers is one of the biggest tropes in romance novels, similar to YA lit and fanfic. Here’s something else I found in the romance novel discourse:
And…yeah. In TSR, Katara really does show Zuko her worst self, because she doesn’t feel the need to perform for him. She doesn’t feel the need to perform moral perfection OR cold blooded vengeance. She bloodbends in front of him and he just goes with it. She doesn’t kill Yon Rha and he just goes with it. He doesn’t treat her any differently afterwards. Maybe they talk about it off screen, but I kind of like the idea that they don’t, because Katara doesn’t need to explain anything. And it’s so interesting, because some people in the ATLA fandom have a totally different read on TSR. They think Zuko was encouraging Katara to get revenge (by what, keeping his mouth shut?), and that Aang is the one who acts as her moral compass. I believe that either Bryan or Mike said in the DVD commentary that Aang is the angel on her shoulder the entire time. And this interpretation does make sense if you see it from the male gaze, where Katara as an object of affection is acting in an angry, irrational, threatening way. But if you see it from the female gaze, you recognize that actually it’s probably the most emotionally taxing experience Katara has to go through, and she doesn’t owe it to be nice or perfect to anybody. Katara’s formative trauma literally comes to a head, and she has to make a decision — no, a discovery — about who she is in relation to the tragedy that defines her life and even her identity (as a waterbender, as a parentified child who becomes the mom friend, as a genocide victim), and she’s accompanied by someone who trusts her judgement and validates her feelings.
I’m not saying TSR is explicitly romantically coded, but when it conforms so well to romance novel tropes…is it any wonder that so many people thought “yes this is her man?” And then he takes lightning in the heart for her and reaches for her when he’s literally dying, I will never be normal about that either
Hear me out, friends.
Zuko has two scars. One for absence of love, and one for love.
One he got from the person who he thought loved him with all his heart and was supposed to protect him, but he actually never did. Another he got protecting the person who he didn't dare to even think would ever love him, but she actually did, with all her heart.
So symbolic. Just like everything else.
Katara, who didn't want to be summarized as a healer in the original series, becomes exactly that in the legend of Korra, in addition to a mother and grandmother... other than that, nothing. Not even a statue of her in the big city ? For what ? Did she really do anything after the war ? Damn Bryke...
zutara is the ship that just never sinks, man. it's been over a decade, but I'm still here… devouring content… creating content… simping for these two… my true comfort pairing of all time
Zuko, be like: I support women’s rights *the southern raiders episode* but I also support women’s wrongs
I swear 90% of anti Zutara posts are just Kat-aang fans projecting their own dislike about their canon ship onto Zutara.
Zuko brings out the worst in her? Aang refused to acknowledge her pain and grief, and constantly encouraged her to suppress any negative emotions.
Katara would be a powerless if she marred Zuko? She spent her entire adult life confined to Air Temple island, away from her tribe, rarely venturing like 20 minutes into Republic City to help people (unless you count banning blood bending, a technique with a lot of practical value, and doing nothing to enforce that ban, but that's another story).
Katara would be Zuko's trophy wife? The series ends with Aang and Katara kissing, because Katara's affection toward Aang are him being rewarded for being the Avatar.
They'd fight too much? Zuko and Katara reconcile after they fight and work together as an amazing team. Meanwhile, Katara and Aang have serious problems at the end of the series that end in explosive fights and they never get resolved.
Zutara is too physical? They hug once. Kat-aang kisses four times (two of which were non consensual, one of which was under duress), Aang checks her out multiple times in the series and fantasizes about kissing her, but they almost never have intimate conversations where Katara gets to open up, unless she is sharing her grief for his benefit.
Zutara fans only like it because Zuko is hot? Aang looks like a small child, especially when compared to Katara.
Zutara fans just like the bad boy/good girl trope? Katara is "darker" then Aang (and Kat-aang fans, apparently) want to admit. Her strong sense of justice, i.e. the thing that makes her "good," is just as rooted in anger as it is empathy.
They'd bring out the worst in each other? Aang is entitled, angry and irresponsible when it comes to Katara, and Katara is a pushover and shortsighted when it comes to Aang.
Zutara would be abusive? Aang lashes out at Katara when he gets angry or jealous, even when that jealousy comes from actors in a shitty play she had no control over.
It's a colonizer/colonized relationship? Aang has no respect for Katara's culture: he mocks her food, her beliefs, he tries to impose his cultural values on her, and post-A:tLA he rejects their waterbending child and denies their airbending access to his watertribe heritage, and Katara stays away from her people for nearly their entire relationship.
Zutara fans are delusional and deny canon? You can acknowledge something and not like it, criticize it and create fanon content that differs from it. That's not denial, that's critical thinking and creativity. But if Kat-aang fans are so in love with all aspects of canon, they are welcome to embrace at "The Ember Island Players" and "Love is a Battlefield."
Zutara would be toxic? Look at Kat-aang.
Thinkin about how Kya lied to protect Katara from Yon Rha. Took her place. And how Katara watched her die because of it
Thinkin about Katara and Zuko bonding over the loss of their mothers at the hands of the fire nation. About how Zuko, more than anyone else, more than Sokka, even, saw how deeply Katara was affected by her mother's death. How he understood- how he even thought to try to understand, unlike others- what Katara needed. How he didn't scold her, or reject her, and instead did everything in his power to support her and help her find closure, in whatever way she needed.
Thinkin about how Katara witnessed Zuko jump in front of a lightning bolt that was meant for her. Protected her. Was willing to die to save her. Another person Katara cared for, willing to sacrifice themself in order for her to live.
But this time Katara was powerful. This time, she was able to take down a firebender at the height of their power and save the person she cared for.
People want to come up with a lot of analysis for why Zuko/Katara is better than Aang/Katara, and like. I’m here for it. I’m enjoying reading it, and I’m going to read more of it. But also, what it all comes down to for me personally is that all the Katara/Zuko screentime, limited as it is, is more interesting to watch than the Katara/Aang romantic screentime. We can talk all day about how healthy each relationship would be, but where’s that post about how being boring is basically the worst crime you can commit in fiction? Watching Katara and Zuko bond through their shared understanding of grief is mesmerizing, and I wish we’d gotten more of that. Frankly I wish we had more Zuko bonding time in general.
what a beautiful day to think of dante basco’s headcanon that zuko fell in love with katara but buried it for the sake of duty and mae whitman’s headcanon that katara fell in love with zuko but only realized it when it was too late
I'm rewatching Avatar the last airbender, and it's crazy how maternal Katara is with Aang. He actually called her "Mom" at one point?! OK, that's comedic for the show and supporting Katara acting like a mother when she's too young, but getting Aang to say "mom" specifically? Help... Also, Katara is way more mature than Aang overall. I had forgotten how offbeat they were... And then Mai who doesn't really understand Zuko... Yes, sorry but for me Kataang and Maiko are not relationships that should have ended together. I'm at the episode where Zuko and Sokka broke Suki out of prison. Do I really find it impressive that Mai said to Azula, "I love Zuko more than I'm afraid of you." Uh... I'm sorry, but when was Mai ever afraid of Azula? Whenever she disagreed with Azula, Mai would not obey her. What happened with Zuko is nothing out of the ordinary. I still remember that unlike the other, Azula didn't need to scare Mai so that she agreed to join her group to hunt down Aang. Afraid of Azula? Let me laugh. It's so forced as a statement to make us swallow Maiko down our throats.
I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.
Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.
Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.
Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.
Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.
The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
I relate to Amy Elliot-Dunne if only for the fact that I too believe that my partner shouldn’t have to be told to care about me and should remember things that I like and maybe consider making me happy once in a while without being told to do so.
When a customer won't stop complaining about things you have no control over:
I am in no way excusing what Cassie did, but I think a lot of people are missing the point of her storyline. She was raised in a way that absolutely fucked her idea of love, with her father leaving and how she was treated at a young age because of her body. To her, male validation=love and she will do anything to get that. I think this is also why her character is nude so often; in some of these scenes you can tell Cassie isn’t completely comfortable. People say she is being sexualized too much, but I think that is literally the point. To show how disgusting and uncomfortable the sexualisation of young girls is and the shit we are expected to do for men. Cassie going out with Nate is absolutely fucked but it also shows the effect of being treated like an object your whole life.
To me the point of this storyline is glaringly obvious and it kinda sucks to see people shitting on cassie all the time.
okay, but, like, I feel like we need to emphasize more on how important it is to have a partner you can just talk to. I was telling this to someone the other day, but Hollywood and media focuses so much on sexual tension and explosive passion in a relationship, and while those are completely valid and understandable things for certain, not all, people to desire (even I myself do), I feel like there’s barely enough light casted onto the value of being able to converse with your partner and relish in their company even in the most neutral discussion. I can barely count how many films, particularly romance ones, have emphasized on the importance and value of being able to speak to a partner like they are your close friend, and being able to absolutely adore their company, and engage in conversation with them about anything and everything, even if it isn’t romantic. Lexi and Fez, Aristotle and Dante, Marianne and Heloise, Jesse and Celine, Connell and Marianne. so many people adore these couples because they showcase such a human, genuine connection through conversation. Lexi and Fez discussing God and the backlash of social media. Aristotle and Dante’s talks on finding identity and how life feels better when the shoes are kicked off. Marianne and Heloise debating over what it meant when Orpheus turned around, and the release found within music. Celine speaking to Jesse about how the media is controlling our minds and how she thinks she really loves someone when she can detect every detail of them, Jesse speaking to Celine about when he saw his deceased grandmother in the sprinkle of a hose and the things he remembers his parents having said to him. Connell and Marianne sitting under the summer sun, eating ice cream, discussing the differences in their class and how money can be simultaneously corrupt and indescribably appealing. all of these couples have made me realize how while passionate kisses under the rain and loud proclamations of your love for someone are valuable for certain people, it is also inexpressibly important to find someone who you can linger in the passenger seat for just to hear what they thought about the movie you watched last night. someone who you take your time putting your shoes on for just to hear about the physical sensation they got when the second last line of your favourite song reverberated through their headphones.
god gives his wettest pussies to his most mentally ill soldiers
my problem with eloise bridgerton really comes down to these 2 things.
1, she is in an immense place of privilege, and 2, her character arc is bound to fail. Let me elaborate.
Eloise is a member of the Bridgerton family one of, if not the wealthiest family in the ton. They are never concerned about not having enough in fact they are constantly able to splurge on things they do not need. For example throwing a party that no one went to and never speaking about it again. Penelope and the Featheringtons do not have that luxury. They are constantly fighting to remain in their station every season, barely scraping by (we can also see this represented in their clothing as they use their dresses to show how extravagantly they live even though it is a falsehood). Eloise is a woman in a time where women were treated as subhuman, yes BUT she is also a girl from a wealthy family with 3 sisters and 4 brothers. If she really does not want to marry she does not have to, this is literally the reason Eloise becomes a spinster. Many other girls do not have this luxury, but she doesn’t see that. She sees everything she can’t do and then complains about it and this leads into my second point.
Eloise’s purpose as a character was always going to fail because this is a show about romance. It’s not a historical drama, it’s a romance show. Every single Bridgerton is going to get married, so her being this adamant about not wanting to be married(a perfectly valid choice btw) is completely undermined because she does marry later on. And this is made worse by the fact that she is constantly ragging on other women for WANTING to be married. Eloise thinks that every woman should want what she wants and if they don’t they are a disappointment. It’s genuinely so annoying to hear her speak because she doesn’t just want options for herself she is determined to make every other woman feel bad for not wanting what she does. But she never actually does anything about it. Because she’s just that. All talk.
That is why i’m on Penelope’s side, number one people being like “why didn’t she just turn herself in?” did we even watch the same show because Penelope literally would have done that if she thought the queen would have believed her. Number 2 let’s not act like Eloise being “ruined” in society isn’t the exact thing she claimed to have wanted. To be outside of this society she claims to hate so much. Number 3 Pen’s family had a lot more to lose even if the queen did believe her than the Bridgertons. Because they are so well liked and wealthy they can bounce back from pretty much anything. Penelope did do something with her words and yes she wrote them under a pseudonym because how many people do you think would have picked up a gossip column if they saw the name penelope featherington written on it?
To me Eloise is just a brat and i really don’t see that changing any time soon. So while i hope her and Pen make up it’s not for me because i don’t care if they make up, it’s for the audience so you can finally shut up about Penelope being evil.
Also her and Theo are not endgame sorry to burst your bubble.
edit: I also think this issue is exacerbated by the fact that we got Kate in season 2 and she holds a lot of the same beliefs Eloise does but we understand her motivations because of where she comes from.
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.
April 6, 2022
LAPD show up in riot gear to a climate protest against JPMorgan Chase to arrest 4 climate scientists.
LAPD receives $8,000,000 of public money a day.
The concepts of NSFW is being cleared of the Internet under the false pretense of children's safety when it's really about the people in power sanitising for advertisers and pushing evangelical narratives AND that not enough is done to keep legitimately harmful content off of spaces that minors have access to are ideas that can coexist
“aren’t you tired of being nice” no!!!! i’m tired of everyone else being mean!!!!!!!!
Make it this and I’m in.
Will anything ever bring us as much joy and comedic bliss as the reveal of Jason Mendoza? Will I ever feel as alive as I did in that moment when Jason utters the words "heaven is so racist"? Will there ever be a moment in time that slaps me so hard in the face with surprise as the moment Jianu the monk rapidly turns into Jason the Jacksonville dirtbag? Will we as a society ever capture that kind of magic again?
I redid this older comic I made for my storytelling class based on this post. Have some cute wlw love in your day.
It’s hard, if I had more free time I could make it so pretty, this is what I could throw together for the assignment.
Help support a queer artist: Ko fi, Redbubble, Teepublic
Know a distraction when you see one.
Remember in New Girl when Winston broke up with his girlfriend and took the cat? Honestly, mood.
is there a genre of TV called good people trying their best? coz i think thats my fav genre atm