Its Impregnate That Man Monday Ladies And Gentlemen.

i was born in the right century i love looking at boys kissing on my phone

Hello, dearest!

I... am seeing the vision for Sub!Bill 😩 and it's an actual crime that there's so little Sub!Bill fics!

Anywhooo, I am actually feral for Sub!Masochist!Bill. I want him getting off from the pain in unexpected ways. Choke him? Hot. Slap and punch him? Hot. Punch him in the stomach while you jack him off? Hot.

Do I wanna send in HCs for Sub!Masochist!Bill? Mayhaps 👀

Have a nice day!

No because I think sub!bill is such an interesting concept because it clashes with his personality so much, but it’s not entirely out of character either. His fascination with pain in the human body is such an indicator of masochistic behavior in bed if i was being fr then i’d say he probably would think sex was gross in general but let me have fun

Also… I’d kill for those masochist Bill headcanons… drop them in my inbox and my life is YOURS.

INFINITY TRAIN REFERENCE!!!

Also this is soooo cute 🙁💗 also the image of bill sneezing with his eye is so funny, and him being such a little shit was very in-character. Great read!

So bill can get drunk, like humans, so does that technically mean he can get sick like humans?? Can you please make either a oneshot or head cannons, with the reader taking care of Bill and he's just like "pft, what? I'm fine, how could me, an Almighty being of chaos get- *just fucking dies*"

A/N: For the sake of the technicalities of Bill's physical form, I'm making the reader be in the nightmare realm.

Warnings: Bill being Bill, fluff, not proofread, alcohol mention

Sick Day

You're sitting on the couch, quiet mornings at the henchmaniac clubhouse are rare and often short-lived. All of the henchmaniacs are preoccupied with trips or activities for the day- all of which are likely excuses to get away from Bill even if it's only for a little while. It's understandable really, he's been a bit more irritable recently.

The only reason you didn't leave was because Bill grew pathetically more disappointed as every single one of his "friends" left the clubhouse.

You sip from a can of interdimensional pit cola as you take advantage of the TV being free for the day to watch whatever mind numbing show about cgi fruits crosses the channel.

Tiny steps tap from the hallway. Bill must've woken up.

He grumbles and mutters random words under his breath, making his way to the kitchen. He sulks and droops, eye half-lidded.

Hm. He's probably still in his feels about the crew leaving for the day.

"Morning." You greet casually.

Bill turns to you and pauses, then his eye rolls back into his socket and turns into a mouth. He breathes in and what you assume is his version of sneezing happens.

Blue goo disperses into the air, coming together to form a bubble that floats up and sticks itself to the ceiling.

Sneezing, grogginess, irritableness, that probably means... "Bill, are you sick?"

Bill floats up and laughs, tone more nasally than usual, "Pft- what? How could me, an almighty being of chaos get-" he sneezes again, falling from the place he's floating and flat onto the ground.

...Guess you know what you're doing today.

---

Bill lays in a makeshift pillow fort, bundled in blankets and surrounded by cushions. To put it in nice terms, he's been fussy about this whole thing.

He's been refusing to cover his eye when he sneezes, withholding information about how his kind gets better, throwing the blankets and pillows away from him only to demand you make it "comfier," and outright insulting you.

"Bill, you need to take this medicine. It's a cure for all, it's approved by the Time Health Administration."

"Mm!" He shuts his eye tight and turns away, "No way Jose! You're not tricking me this time!"

"What do you mean this time???" You reach your hand out to touch one of his sides, "You're freezing! C'mon, this'll make you feel better, take it! It even has some alcohol in it, if you drink enough of it you might get drunk!"

"No!" He slaps the spoon you put the medicine on away.

"Ugh, Bill- Stop being such a brat and just drink the damn thing!"

He pulls the blanket over his top angle and tries to hide.

Maybe you need to like baby him or something? Make it fun? Here comes the airplane type stuff????

You look around for an idea or lead on what to do next. What would get this menace to take his damn medicine?

You notice a silly straw in the mess on the living room floor.

Huh, when did this get here?

Whatever. You plop the straw into the medicine bottle and hope it'll work.

"Bill, look! The- the um, straw, it's squiggly and stuff."

"Squiggly?" Bill slowly peeks out of the covers. He takes the medicine bottle from you but hesitates before taking a sip. "Do I really have to..?"

You double take. That's the most sincere sentence you've ever heard Bill Cipher speak.

You do your best to soften your voice to make sure he feels some sort of reassurance, "Yes. Yes, you have to, er, Billy?" Really? Pet names? That's what you're doing now?

Bill narrows his eye at you and snatches the medicine from your hand. He sips from the straw and throws the rest of it back at you. You duck just in time and the medicine hits the walls and spills onto the floor.

Clean-up is not going to be fun...

Bill sinks back into the blankets and continues to shiver. "You. Here." Bill pats the spot next to him. He glares when you raise a brow at him, "Did I stutter? Now! Oh and bring the TV remote while you're at it, doc."

You roll your eyes and scoot next to him with the remote in hand. "You could at least ask nicely."

"Nicely is me not threatening to set you on fire-" He sneezes again and another bubble joins the one already stuck to the ceiling. "Agh! These blankets are useless!"

Bill angrily flops into your lap. You raise your hands up defensively, "What- what are you doing?"

He exhales in frustration, "Stop being selfish and wrap your arms around me! Give me your body heat!"

"I don't think-"

"I could care less about what you think. Do it!" You awkwardly wrap your arms around him, pulling the blanket over the both of you and leaning against the pillow pile that's been made. "Now put something good on TV, I didn't threaten that cable company for nothing."

You put a cartoon on about some train that's infinite. Bill doesn't complain so you assume that it's passable.

The sick triangle laying on you closes his eye, breath slowing and boundless energy diminishing.

You also feel your breath slow, syncing with his. A small nap couldn't hurt...

Bill snuggles deeper into your arms as the hum of a familiar lullaby lulls the two of you to sleep.

i wonder how bill would react to someone wanting him carnally

He’d probably be weirded out and then use it to his advantage. He sees the appeal though.

watched inside job, i want him SO BAD.

My dear!

While yes, deleting your blog was sudden, but what you felt was completely valid! I'm just so honestly glad and relieved that you're okay! And I get it too, it's stressful, there's eyes on you, and it can be pressuring. Plus, having to do content that you're not into anymore? Yeah, I get it.

I'm sorry that you're going through a rough patch at the moment, but know that I'm sending good vibes your way and genuinely hoping that things start to look up.

- 🍆 anon

(and just letting you know, I did start my own blog now! I'm trying to expand on my previous asks + new ideas.)

oh my god, my old friend penis anon 😖🙏 Stop you all have been so nice about this, it’s so sweet.

I’m feeling slightly better lately, and i’m really glad you understand! Also whatttt, new blog? Drop the @ babes 💕

Hazbin Hotel characters on Valentine’s day

Lucifer would go all out and probably too far. He would literally be showering you in gifts left and right and never taking his attention off you all day. You need a back massage? He’s on it. You’re hungry? He’ll bake brownies. When you tell him that this isn’t the point of Valentine’s day and you reciprocate some of the attention, he feels super guilty. But you shower him in gifts just the same to make sure he feels special and loved, which he does. In fact he probably cries. Still, he would definitely get you flowers but like EVERY flower he can think of. You won’t be able to walk through your house. Date night for sure, and it would be insanely expensive and pretentious. Only the best for you though. Although sex would be a bonus at the end, it’s not really on his mind, as he is more focused on the romance aspect.

Velvette would be definitely less giving than Lucifer. In fact, she’s expecting you to do all of that and more. Absolutely overjoyed when you get her flowers, fancy jewelry, or breakfast in bed. She is going to expect these gifts periodically throughout the day, actually. However, I do think she would get you something. Maybe she would make a custom shirt or outfit for you, or post a very long appreciation post with very flattering photos. Although it’s not as much your gifts, it’s her way of showing she cares! Make sure to cuddle with her all day though. Better yet, just don’t leave her side. Actually, just don’t stop touching her period. No matter where she goes, keep your hand on her waist or back at all times. It’s valentine’s day so of course everyone should know that you’re hers.

Vox isn’t super big on Valentine’s day, so no crazy gestures are to be expected. He will however send you losts of roses, curtesy of voxtech drones, thank you very much. If anything, I can see him sending a lot of voxtech gifts in general, a new phone, new headphones, etc etc. Now, when he gets off work I could see a small slow dancing session as he is from the 50s so that’s probably peak romance for him. I do think he is expecting something in return though. Not necessarily flowers or new tech gear, although those would be very nice. Maybe like his favorite chocolates or something because let’s be real, he needs to be romanced properly. Now, unlike Lucifer, he probably is expecting sex. He would treat you very well up until that point, however. After a couple rounds I think he’d probably just light a couple candles and snuggle into you to watch some TV or something relaxing like that. Preferably with a glass of wine.

LALALALA what you said about fiddleford is so fucking real. hes so nerdy and cutie for reaaalll :3 i dont think hes the brattiest brat out there (esp when bill exists lmao) but i do think he can be!!

i will also say. everyone who i met who was into computers n tech n machinery was atleast a little bit into being tied up. just putting that out there!!! :)

minors dni, ramble incoming

I feel like wouldn’t be a brat because he just doesn’t strike as someone who has a lot of experience. He’s a country boy with little experience and, most likely, very traditional views. I don’t think he’s entirely vanilla, but he would be very sheltered when it comes to kinks.

Persuading him to try being tied up would be so weird because… why? However, I don’t think he’d be against it. I think he’d be odd about sex before marriage in general, but not opposed to it.

And when you do tie him up and have your way, he’s in absolute shock because he didn’t expect that to feel so good.

I think he’d at first be like “I reckon it’s— it’s the man.. supposed to be doing the leading and— all that.” But it wouldn’t take a lot to break him down, because he didn’t even want to lead anyways.

He’d probably whine more than he’d whimper, but overall I think he’d be very loud his first time. “Oh lord— oh my—“ “My gosh, ah!” “Oh mama!” in a country way not a kinky way though. Less sexy, but lots of weird southern phrases would come out.

Get you a man who moan “Oh, sweet baked potatoes” every now and then. this one’s kinda a joke

SAW YOUR INSIDE JOB POST.. YOU KNOW WHO IM GONNA ASK FOR...

begging for dom reagan i love her

OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHG IM ALREADY WORKING ON IT BABES…

the fiddleford requests are absolutely delicious thank you everyone 😁