I Also Just Posted A Blurb Idk If I Like It

had to share this rq

i love all you hoes on here you really match my freak🩷

sobbing crying throwing up

WE HUG NOW 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

authors note: this song has been stuck in my head for weeks

warnings: angst, divorce/breakup

you never wanted the money.

not the cars. not the spotlight. not the gated houses or the sold-out arenas. you would’ve lived in a tiny apartment, eating cereal on the floor every night if it meant waking up next to her—billie, the way she was before everything got loud.

she used to fall asleep with her head on your chest, murmuring lyrics into your skin like secrets. used to light up when she saw you walk into a room, like the whole world paused just long enough for her to memorize you again.

but somewhere along the way, the world stopped slowing down.

and she stopped looking up.

you started counting the days between her phone calls. between the nights she came home. between the moments you still felt like hers. you told yourself it was temporary. that fame came with distance, and distance didn’t mean detachment. you told yourself she’d remember.

but then came the fight.

you were sitting in the nursery, holding your daughter while she clung to your arm, the weight of the world pressing down on your chest. billie paced in front of you, her voice sharp, accusing.

“do you love me,” she asked, “or just the life i gave you?”

you didn’t have words. it hit you like a slap in the face, and all the breath left your lungs. you would’ve given everything up for her.

but in that moment, you realized she didn’t believe you. maybe she never did.

so you let her go.

the divorce was quiet. clinical. the kind where nothing catches fire but everything still burns.

she left the house. she left the crib. she left one thing behind—a beat-up old phone, screen cracked, tucked beneath the baby blanket in the rocker.

a single voice memo, labeled:

halley’s comet. for her.

you sat in the dim light of the nursery that night, holding your daughter to your chest, listening to billie’s voice crackle through the speaker.

“hi, baby girl. this is your song. i’ll always love you, even when i’m not there.”

she sang like she was still trying to hold on. and you cried like you already knew she wouldn’t.

your daughter is four now.

she runs everywhere instead of walking. she’s all questions and scraped knees and big, open-hearted feelings. she asks about the stars when she can’t sleep, says she feels safest when you hold her.

she knows the song by heart. you’ve played it for her every night since she was born. she calls it her song, like it was written by the universe just for her. and maybe, in a way, it was.

you’re driving her home from preschool one afternoon, the air warm, the sun soft on your arm, and the radio starts playing a song that makes your heart skip.

it’s halley’s comet.

not the voice memo. the full version. studio-polished. stripped-down and haunting and beautiful. billie’s voice, older now, but still her. still yours, somehow.

from the backseat, your daughter perks up, her voice sharp with recognition.

“mama… my song.”

you grip the steering wheel, the pressure of her words making your chest tighten.

she’s staring out the window, her small hand pressed to her chest like she’s holding something fragile, something sacred. and it is.

you force a smile, blinking back the tightness in your throat. “yeah, baby,” you whisper. “that’s your song.”

a week later, your phone buzzes.

someone sends you a clip from billie’s latest interview—she’s on a late-night talk show, radiant, untouchable. the interviewer brings you up like a distant memory, something forgotten.

“so, you and y/n. what happened there?”

billie laughs easily, like it’s nothing. like it’s a joke.

“oh, that. yeah. we ended it on mutual terms. it’s all good now.”

mutual.

like you didn’t stay awake for months, waiting for her to come home, waiting for her to see you again. like you didn’t rock your daughter to sleep, night after night, with the sound of billie’s voice in the dark, your heart breaking quietly every time. like you didn’t love her with every piece of yourself. like you still don’t, a little.

you pause the video.

the house is quiet. the laundry hums softly in the next room. your daughter’s asleep upstairs, her tiny body curled around a stuffed bunny, the old phone still tucked under her pillow.

you sit there, the glow of the screen fading to black.

and you think—

god, she really believes it was nothing.

you’re just thinking it’s a small thing that happened.the world ended when it happened to me.

taglist: @amara-eilish @bilswifee @iamnicoke @jayjaywetforbils @eloiseluvsbillie @bxllxebxtch | send me an ask, or comment if you want to be added to my taglist!

HELLO WHAT does anyone know where that audio came from bc it sounds a little too much like it’s actually chris😶

OH MY GOD WHAT?

POSSIBLT THE LAST THING I EXPECTED LMFAOOOO

sorry i’m gone

guys i’m so tired of the @bernardsbendystraws hate like actually what did she do for people to shit on her this much, people need to get a grip and take their negativity else where😭😭

unreal

a/n: just a little idea i had a while ago because i saw a video where billies pigtails/buns were moving when she moved on stage, and it got me thinking😞 (and i’d just like to add, i love that people send me requests, but i’m currently not taking requests so if you’re still sending me them, yes i will answer them but not for a while because i have a lot i would like to get posted on here and i have exams starting next month which i need to focus on. and i don’t know when i’ll be taking requests again, but i’ll try to make it as soon as i can. i love you all and i appreciate you always🩷)

the second billie got off stage, she ran to me. her arms flew around me, holding me in a tight hug. her once neat buns, now messy from all the jumping around she’d done. yet she still looked so beautiful.

it felt like it took forever to get home, from sorting everything out backstage, to the drive home. it felt like longer than it should have. i needed billie. there was just something about how perfect she looked. i couldn’t help myself.

the second we stepped into our shared room, i practically pounced on her. my lips were pressed harshly against hers in a hungry kiss. she let out a surprised gasp at the sudden action, but soon reciprocated. the kiss was messy, and desperate, billies whines filling the room when i gently sat her down on the bed.

i tugged at her clothes, our lips still attached. it took me a minute or so as my hands scrambled, trying to get her clothes off. i soon succeeded, though, taking mine off barely seconds later.

“bil.. i want you to ride me.” i breathed out, cupping her face in my warm hands, “please?”

she nodded in response, pulling me into another deep kiss, before i moved to grab the strap. i struggled to attach it to my hips because of my shaky hands, but the second it was on i was on the bed. my back leaned against the soft pillows, while my hands reached out to billie.

she soon came over, her knees planted either side of me as the rest of her body hovered slightly above the strap. i held her hip with one hand, and the strap in my other, then carefully guided her so that the tip was pressed against her entrance. when i ran it through her folds, i heard her let out a breathy moan, her wetness coating it.

i let it run up to her clit, lightly pressing against it before moving back down again.

“please.” she whined, placing her hands on my stomach.

in one quick movement, i pushed inside her, earning a loud moan from her. my free hand found her other hip, helping her find a steady pace. it wasn’t until she sped up that i noticed. every time she bounced, her space buns did too. although they were already messy, it made her look even more perfect. my eyes were glued on her, moving over her body, starting at her thighs, up to her core, then her stomach, her tits, her pretty face, and her hair moving with every bounce.

“there you go baby, you look so beautiful.” i groaned, unable to take my eyes off her face. her cheeks were flushed and her pupils wide.

“i’m gonna- i’m close..” her hands pressed harder against my stomach.

“go ahead angel, i’ve got you just let it out.”

when her orgasm approached, her movements got slightly slower, and weaker as she tried to get herself there. i could tell she was close from the way her eyelids drooped a little, and her moans got the tiniest bit higher in pitch. i held onto her hips a bit tighter and thrusted up into her. she let out sweet whines, her arms giving way, leaving her basically laid against my front with her legs either side of me.

“that’s it, you’re doing so good. really proud of you, my love.” i spoke, kissing her head as i talked her through it.

i didn’t stop what i was doing, not until i felt her juices dripping down the strap, and onto my thighs. her moans got breathy and quieter in my ear while she came down from her high. one of my hands came up to stroke her back, while to other stayed on her hip to keep her still. i knew she’d be sensitive so i didn’t want to move her around too much just yet.

i held her in my arms for around ten minutes, before deciding that it was time to shower. the rhythmic movements of my hand along her back stopped, allowing my hand to move to her hair and push it out of her face, which was hidden against my shoulder.

“bils? you okay?”

i felt her nod and groan quietly, making me smile. i could tell how exhausted she was, but i wanted to make sure she felt fresh when she woke up.

“you were so good for me. my perfect girl. can we get up to have a quick shower? i know you’re super tired but it’ll make you feel so much better and you’ll be nice and clean.” i spoke into her hair before placing a small kiss against the top of her head.

“can i sleep when we’re done?” she mumbled, holding me tighter.

“of course.” i smiled and helped her sit up before slowly lifting her off the strap.

she whined a little from the feeling, waiting for me to take the strap off before i lifted her into my arms. when we reached the bathroom, i set her down on the counter for a minute or so, hearing her wince at the feeling of the cold tiles against her bare skin.

“sorry, love.” i whispered, pressing gentle kisses to her lips as i waited for the shower to reach the perfect temperature.

while we were waiting, i carefully took her buns out, although they were almost out by now from all of the moving.

“thank you, baby. i needed this. i love you so much.” i heard her speak when i helped her into the shower.

“no need to thank me. i love you always bils.” i smiled at her words and followed soon after her.

i lathered shampoo into her hair, then mine after i’d rinsed it out for her, before conditioning the ends. i also lathered the body wash over her, before allowing her to do the same for me. when we’d finished in the shower, i made sure our faces were also washed, our teeth were brushed, before we got back into bed.

we practically curled up against eachother, billie falling asleep almost right away, while i stayed up a little longer to make sure she was alright, before drifting off to sleep too.

Incase anyone needs it 🤍

ong i can’t decide💔💔