PIXEL CHIX

Being left alone with your thoughts doesnt necessarily have to mean that youre going to eat yourself alive or push yourself to the brink of insanity, you dont always have to be standing or seeking shelter on two extreme ends of the world. It means you pull apart the strings of that cobweb and thread it so much so it intertwines with your being so its not strangling you anymore,Because its Moments like those when you should stop trying to fight yourself from giving into beliefs, almost like you stopped trying to take shelter and finally stood in the rain. Instead of running away, admire the way it feels because its meant to feel that way, contrary to the popular belief it wont catch you off guard, much like reality does :)

T shirt that says publicly crying isn’t a giveaway of your sensitivity or weakness. You are hurt, and you are hurting, you have every right to to feel your pain and acknowledge it regardless of the setting, understand what must be prioritised first instead of submitting to a pseudo authority and audience that keeps you from being able to hold yourself when and where needed. It pains me to say how I have come across so many people who’re strongly forced to believe that they must shield themselves by hiding something so beautiful. Save yourself the mental 4buse, take it one step at a time, feel free to let yourself out the way your body needs it to be

I remember a site once asked me to specify my qualifications for a course I was applying for, but what really struck my eye was the format of their question , “could you please take out a second of your time to help us determine the inclination of your course by giving this quiz a try?”, the ‘please’ ? My oh my I’ll kiss whoever programmed that test on the cheek, it was so endearing, I mean it WHOEVER sat down and took their time to think that through gets flowers from me

Sometimes I seriously wake up, I wake up and I smile, I chuckle to no one in particular

I made it to another day, holy shit I did, I did it all by myself, I’m here with myself, I’m here for myself, I STILL HAVE ME, I have me and I need to take advantage of that, I need to selfishly adore myself, I need to put on that dress I’ve been eyeing for weeks because I CAN! It’s ridiculous of me to think there’s a rule book for it, This is boundless, it’s my body, the dress will fit ME Not the other way around, I’ll name that flower I sit across in my balcony every time I’m brewing coffee because it’s adorable, I want to take care of it, I’m holding responsibility as I bloom more and more every day, I want to reassure it that I’ll be here to water it again tomorrow, I’m here and that’s never going to change

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

You’re not always going to be having an absolutely downright miserable day for you to feel worn out, your body can most definitely take the toll of an event even if your mind hasn’t reached the capacity or state to process it, there are so many instances where you yourself are not emotionally ready to face something but that doesn’t mean that your body will stop there and then. Maybe it’s something that happened over a week ago, or a month, and it happened to be that very thing you tucked under your pillow so it wouldn’t keep you up at night, so take my word when I say that it shouldn’t come off as a shock to you if you can’t set your mind on something or someone, have the energy to go on about your day, or be in your element when nothing went wrong. Take this exhaustion as a sign and evaluate over those times and everything you’d been through, face them and give yourself the time to sit through what happened, processing is key, tugging it away to suffer physiological distress is not.

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, let. People. Feel. Their. Grief. Often at times we don’t want someone to sweep us off our feet. We don’t want someone to put a smile on our face. We don’t want someone to shove our favourite ice cream down our throats or for that matter blast our favourite songs right from the speaker. We want to acknowledge how hurt we are often because we feel as though others would not even spare us a glance, your intention matters a lot, yes it was very sweet of you to do that but it may not have been very smart, be patient and I mean this in the sweetest way possible. Sometimes we’re just not ready. We require some time, that is all

[transcript: 1. “any fear, any memory will do; and if you’ve got a heart at all, someday it will kill you.”

2. “survive what? you said. in the weak light you looked over your shoulder. you said, nothing ever survives.”

3. “because you want to die for love, you always have.”

4. “jesus: you think suffering is a one-way street?! it’s not! it’s the exact opposite of not!

judas: you got a lot of fuckin’ nerve—

jesus: —and you’ve got no nerve at all! where’s your heart in all this, judas? you think you were with me for any other reason than that?! it was your heart, judas. you were all heart. you were my heart! don’t you know that?!”

5. “he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something other than dying.”/end transcript]

rita dove, primer for a nuclear age/margaret atwood, roominghouse, winter/richard siken, planet of love/stephen adly guirgis, the last days of judas iscariot/maggie stiefvater- mister impossible

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back