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Advice - Blog Posts
I need advice
Oh tumblr gods, how do I know if I have a toxic parent. My mom isn’t abusive but she has a couple little signs that set off little alarms in my head. And if she is toxic do you have advice for how to exist with her because moving out isn’t an option (I’m still in high school). Every time I try to talk to someone about it they say it’s not a big deal because we have an overall positive relationship(because I have to live with her). But I can’t help but notice that I am much happier at my dad’s than at her house. I crave your wisdom oh tumblr gods.
I’ve been publishing some stories on AO3 for like a year now, and I’m having trouble updating them. Not updating them gives me pressure because there are many people who like it and I feel bad for not updating for so long. I’m going through school and it’s consuming all my time. Also, I have trouble writing because of my perfectionism and belief that I’m not a good enough writer. I constantly compare myself to others, such as how long my story is and how many likes there are. It’s annoying and unhealthy.
I want to stop these habits and have a healthier mindset. Can I have some advice on how to do that please?
Can I also have advice on:
-What to do when you have writer’s block
-How to write the beginning of chapters
-How to stop striving so hard for perfection
Thank you to anyone who answers or likes! 😁💕
How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do
So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!
Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.
Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.
Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks
Your priority goes like this:
5 minutes due YESTERDAY
5 minutes due TOMORROW
Half-hour due YESTERDAY
Half-hour due TOMORROW
Hours due YESTERDAY
Hours due TOMORROW
5 minutes due LATER
Half-hour due LATER
Hours due LATER
DAYS due YESTERDAY
DAYS due TOMORROW
DAYS due LATER
At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.
Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.
So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.
You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!
And now the headcannon that no asked for...
Advice from Altaïr
(Advice from Altaïr)
Altair is sitting by the fire place with book in hand and his hot coffee next to him.
Altair: *looks up at the reader* Oh. Well would you look at that, if your reading this that means you actually like reading this garbage... so I guess you came here for more advice from me. *takes a sip of coffee*
Altair: ok well my advice for you today is. . . Drink f**king water... oh what you didn't think I'd catch you drinking 20 cans of Bing and mountain dew cause your probably gaming right now or just looking threw your computer.
Altair: so get up and get yourself a bottle of water! I don't give a f**k if the fridge is to far away for you to reach, YOU NEED TO ALWAYS STAY HYDRATED!!! THE F**KING OWNER OF THIS HEADCANON PAGE LIVES ON THE HOTTEST PLACE ON EARTH AND YET SHE STILL NEEDS TO BE REMINDED TO DRINK WATER!!!
Moonlight: ya it's true guys, even I need to start taking Altair's advice every so often.
Altair: F**KING DRINK WATER MOON!!!
Moonlight: 😶💧 *nervously drinks water*
Altair: good... now get the f**k out.
Moonlight: *leaves post*
Altair: *looks back at reader* DRINK F**KING WATER!!! IT'S 100° OUTSIDE EVEN IF YOUR INDOORS YOU NEED F**KING WATER TO LIVE!!!! TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF! YOUR A BEAUTIFUL PERSON WHO NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF B****!!!
Altair: ... and once again that's all the time we have for today on advice from me, tune in next time for more advice.
This has been . . .
Advice from Altaïr
YAY MORE SH*T THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR!!!
but for real I hope you take good old Altair's advice. I know I sure need to 😓
And now a special AC headcannon:
Advice from Altaïr
(Advice from Altaïr)
Altair was sitting on a comfy chair by the fire place, reading a book while drinking warm coffee by him.
Altair: *looks up at the reader* Hi, my name is Altair Lbn-La'Ahad and Welcome to Advice from me, Altair.
Altair: *takes a sip of his coffee* so, something tells me you didn't just scroll threw hundreds of other AC headcannons just to get to me... your probably here for images of Jacob without his shirt on or some of my other family tree memebers with out their shirts don't who know what....
Altair: so let's just make this quick... *clears throught* my advice for you is... WEAR. A. F***KING! MASK!!!!
Altair: SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!!! YOUR GONNA GET PEOPLE SICK!!! *puts on a black mask with a white Syrian assassin's creed logo on it*
Altair: TO ALL THE KARENS OUT! WEAR A F***ING MASK!!! YOUR KILLING MORE PEOPLE THEN RANTING ABOUT MASK KILLING PEOPLE!!!
Altair: OH IM SORRY THAT THE MASK IS UNCOMFORTABLE! KAREN!!! BUT SOME OF US ARE TRYING!! TO STAY SAFE! THAT WAY WE CAN GET THIS WHOLE LOCK DOWN THING OVER WITH AND DONE SO WE CAN HAVE OUR OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES AGAIN!!!
Altair: *pants* *pants* *clears throat* ... that's all the time I have for you today, tune in next week where I give you advice about how to deal with Karens.
And this has been:
Advice with Altaïr
(Advice with Altaïr)
So ya I decided to make this a thing now... so ya, each week I'll post an Advice with Altaïr on here, cause I think everyone needs a bit of slice of life with Altair right?
So ya next week is another advice with Altair so stay tuned. 😎✌
Also sorry about it being a rant about mask safety.... I just hate online schooling... its boring.... ubisoft please don't sue me!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLY THIS THING!
Jackson: WHERE ARE THEY?
Holley: Since I can only assume one of our shared associates I’ll just tell you Sally, Francesco, and Sterling are upstairs.
Jackson: Has it look like I give a F*** about where Sterling is!
Holley: In that case,
they are downstairs.
Jackson: Thank you very much!
Holley: Oh and Storm.
Jackson: Hmm?
Holley: Aim for his hood.
(Meanwhile)
Sterling: I just don’t understand women!
Francesco: Neither do I!
Sally: Look it’s simple, just go to her and tell her how you feel.
Sterling: You know what? You’re absolutely right! You guys are so wonderful, thank you so much.
Francesco: He’s gonna get rejected isn’t he?
Sally: Yep.
(Somewhere else)
Jackson: Finally. Finn!
Finn: What the?
Jackson: Where is McQueen?
Finn: I think he’s outside.
Jackson: Where outside?
Finn: I don’t know
Jackson: Finn.
Finn: Yeah?
Jackson: Why is there a helicopter outside?
(Outside in a Helicopter)
Lightning: What do you mean you don’t know how to fly this thing?
Cruz: I mean I don’t really know how to fly this thing. I can’t make it any simpler.
Lightning: Than how did we get up here!
Cruz: I don’t know! I just started pushing buttons!
Lightning: You know at this point, there really isn’t any reason for why I haven’t MURDERED YOU YET!
(Red beeping warning buttons start)
Lightning: WHAT DID YOU DO!?!
Cruz: RELAX! I GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL!
(They crash the helicopter into Thunder Hollow Speedway. But at the speedway...)
Sterling: But I still don’t understand. Why don’t you like me?
Miss. Fritter: You mean other than I’m not into guys fancy-pants? YOUR FRIENDS CRASHED THE HELICOPTER ONTO MY TRACK!
Sterling: It was just the one helicopter...
(Finn is now in a helicopter with Mater hanging on for dear life)
Mater: AAAAHHHHHH!
Finn: QUIT SCREAMING!
(Finn also crashes the helicopter on the track... All of them survived that day)
just as a general reminder
learn how to fact-check for yourself, cause soon enough, most online sources won't be reliable
thinking about doing something kinda stupid rn. I wanna tell my parents (who I currently depend on) that I write fanfiction, and I wanna show them, cause I don't wanna have to hide my screen and delete my history and shit anymore, but I don't know how they'll take it. Well, I think they'll be proud of me, but I don't think they'll understand the whole fanfiction part (I can hear the "you could try and get something published!" already..) or the fact that I've been doing it without telling them for years. Also also, all I write is F/F and I'm not out to them as queer so that's kinda a whole can of worms. I'm not sure. Damn yoooou funny brain chemicals telling me to seek out praise from people lmao
OMG YK WHAT PMO SO BAD????
so i have pretty bad social anxiety, and presenting in front of people is one thing, but presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with/don’t know well is another. In this case, I’m presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with or don’t know well. Sometimes while i’m presenting, i’ll be talking, then all of a sudden in the middle of saying a word, i’ll just stop speaking unintentionally. it’s like, for example, “I love Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure so mu-…” AND THEN I JUST STOP SPEAKING??? It’s like my breath gives out or something??? idk but it pmo so bad and i’m so tired of it😭
Another thing with my social anxiety is that it takes me a while to actually get started on talking when presenting something in class. I just stand there and look dumb. I look around the room and at the floor then back to my teacher and they’re just like, “It’s fine. Whenever you’re ready” and then I try again, but i just CANT DO IT. So of course my classmates get impatient and start looking at their friends with THOSE kinds of facial expressions while they wait for me to finally start talking. Then when I do the other problem I talked about before starts up☹️ idk what to do you guys ugh this is so annoying
sorry for the yap
"Narrative distance"? Do tell!
Explain it in text? Without emphatic arm gestures or wine? Oh god. Okay. I’ll try.
All right, so narrative distance is all about the proximity between you the reader and the POV character in a story you’re reading. You might sometimes also hear it called “psychic distance.” It puts you right up close to that character or pulls you away, and the narrative distance an author chooses greatly affects how their story turns out, because it can drastically change the focus.
Here’s an illustration of narrative distance from far to close, from John Gardner’s The Art of Fiction (a book I yelled at a lot, because Gardner is a pretentious bastard, but he does say very smart things about craft):
It was winter of the year 1853. A large man stepped out of a doorway.
Henry J. Warburton had never much cared for snowstorms.
Henry hated snowstorms.
God how he hated these damn snowstorms.
Snow. Under your collar, down inside your shoes, freezing and plugging up your miserable soul
It feels a bit like zooming in with a camera, doesn’t it?
I always hate making decisions about narrative distance, because I usually get it wrong on the first try and have to fix it in revision. When I was writing Lost Causes, the first thing I had to do in revision was go through and zoom in a little on the narrative distance, because it felt like it was sitting right on top of Bruce’s prickly skin and it needed to be underneath where the little biting comments and intrusive thoughts lived.
Narrative distance is probably the simplest form of distance in POV, and there is where if I had two glasses of wine in me you would hit a vein of pure yelling. There are SO MANY forms of distance in POV. There’s the distance between the intended reader and the POV character, the distance between the POV character and the narrator (even if it’s 1st person!), the distance between the narrator and the author. There’s emotional distance, intellectual distance, psychological distance, experiential distance. If you look closely at a 3rd person POV story, you can tell things about the narrator as a person (and the narrator is an entity independent of the author) - like, for starters, you can tell if they’re sympathetic to the POV character by how they talk about their actions. Word choice and sentence structure can tell you a narrator’s level of education and where they’re from; you can sometimes even tell a narrator’s gender, class, and other less obvious identifying factors if you look closely enough. To find these details, ask: What does the narrator (or POV character, or author) understand?
I can’t put a name on the narrator of the Harry Potter books, but I can tell you he understands British culture intimately, what it’s like to be a teen boy with a crush, to not have money, to be lonely and abused, and to find and connect with people. There’s a lot he doesn’t understand (he doesn’t pick out little flags of queerness like I do, so he’s probably straight, for example), but he sympathizes with Harry and supports him. I like that narrator. I’m supposed to sympathize with him, and I do.
POV is made up of these little distances - countless small questions of proximity that, when stacked together, decide whether we’re going to root for or against a character, or whether we’ll put down a book 20 pages in, or whether a story will punch you in just the right place at just the right amount to make you bawl your eyes out.
There are so many different possible configurations of distance in this arena that there are literally infinite POVs. Fiction is magical and also intimidating as fuck.
Also. ALSO.
Plot…and action…are DIFFERENT THINGS.
I’m making up assignments from when I was woefully ill a few weeks ago, and that was a week of amazing readings, one of which laid out this very thing. Actions are the concrete events that happen, while plot is the non-concrete, the thematic - what changes. You can explain the plot of a story without even touching on the individual actions within it.
Actions: John Watson awakes from nightmares of the war to a small, bleak rental room. His therapist presses on what he’s written on his blog, and he says nothing interesting ever happens to him. John meets an old friend in the park, his friend takes him to the lab at St. Barts where he introduces him to Sherlock Holmes, a genius who needs a roommate. When John goes to see the flat, Sherlock takes him along to a crime scene to which he’s been summoned by the Met. Blah blah blah etcetera, John figures out who the killer is just in time and races to the scene, shooting the cabbie before Sherlock can take the potentially poisoned pill. They walk off together, talking about dinner.
Plot: Veteran John Watson is struggling to adjust to civilian life until he meets Sherlock Holmes, the world’s only consulting detective, who offers him reason to live - the war against crime being waged on London’s streets - and a friendship that will define them both.
The first is a point by point description of what happens; the second is the heart of the story - why what happens matters - and it’s a bit more wibbly wobbly and open to interpretation. A good fic summary, story pitch, movie review, etc. focuses mainly, if not entirely, on the plot and not the actions.
I was talking about this with a writer-friend, and we sat in her parked car for like five minutes miming head explosions at each other and going, “HOLY CRAP. THEY’RE DIFFERENT” and “I KNOW, RIGHT?” and “I NEVER THOUGH ABOUT IT BEFORE” and “I KNOW, RIGHT.” So, yeah. Actions and plot. Different things. I’m going to want to kiss that essay on its stupid essay face the next time I’m writing a plot summary.
Procrastination!
I’m trying to do my homework, but I keep looking at the syllabus and going, “UGH, HEMINGWAY!” and then retreating to Tumblr. So. Gonna blather about POV a bit more here instead of reading “Hills Like White Elephants” for the eleventy-billionth time.
sheffiesharpe said: Oh. Hell. Yes. Keep talking point of view. I wish you’d been in my classes. Have you read Dorrit Cohn’s Transparent Minds? Her discussion of point of view, particularly free-indirect discourse (more or less limited 3rd), rocked my world pretty hard.
I haven’t, but I’ve added it to my Amazon wishlist. Mmm, craft books. Third person is one of my weak points, so I’d love to get another perspective on it! (Outside of fanfic, I usually default to first person; in fanfic, I use third person but always feel a little clunky with it.)
So, here’s a thought that I’ve been mulling over: In class last week, my prof pointed out that inserting a character’s thoughts in italics is a POV switch and, in general, is kind of a lazy trick. Any time you switch POVs, she’s been telling us all semester, your reader notices and you risk pulling them out of the story - so only switch POVs for a good damn reason. Suddenly listening in on a character’s thoughts directly when the rest of the story is told from outside their head? Not a good idea.
My gut reaction was “WHAT? NO” because I do that a lot and some of my favorite stories do as well. I always like to be inside a character’s head and know what they’re thinking - I’m a very character-oriented reader and writer, and I love that narrative intimacy. So something like this:
Good god, look at that arse, he thought, eyeing Sherlock from behind as they left the flat.
…reads as a neat little porthole into the character’s inner workings. But my professor’s right in that, if the rest of the story has a POV that’s a bit more distant, it doesn’t read as well. Something like this would work better:
He eyed Sherlock from behind as they left the flat, admiring one of his few consistently charming assets.
(For some reason I read this in Karen Eiffel’s voice. Oh, Sherlock/Stranger Than Fiction fusion, someday I’ll get around to you!)
Meanwhile, if the POV is closer, right up in the character’s head anyway, you can get a similar effect by just ditching the italics and thought tags:
He eyed Sherlock from behind as they left the flat. Good god, look at that arse.
…Which reads more fluidly to me than the original example. There may be something to this.
I went looking through the fic I’ve always felt was my best example of a successful third person POV, The Apocrypha of Chuck, and figured out that I’d been doing that very thing for much if not all of that fic. The narrative distance between Chuck and the narrator is so close that the narrator may as well be munching on popcorn in a viewing room in the back of his head. There’s no need for the “he thought” tags because the narrator is just spouting verbatim what Chuck’s feeling, pop culture references and all:
Chuck was frozen. His head rang like someone had pounded it on the inside of the Liberty Bell, and it was starting to ache. He wanted to ask aloud, “What do I do?” but the last time he asked that, Dickface told him to write. Chuck was pretty sure that writing wasn’t the proper response to a dead angel on the floor. He was also pretty sure that doing a “Replace All” in The Winchester Gospel to substitute “Dickface” for Zachariah’s name wasn’t the proper response to being told he was Heaven’s butt monkey, but hey, everybody copes differently with stress.
This could’ve easily drifted into internal monologue territory, but the narrator said everything Chuck could’ve, in his own dialect, using the references Chuck himself would’ve used. But this narrator, while being sympathetic to Chuck and sharing all of his pop culture references, has the ability to put Chuck’s thoughts into words when Chuck himself can’t - generally at dramatically appropriate moments.
That’s the really cool thing about third person narrators: they can carry on telling the story coherently even when your POV character is too overwrought to explain what’s happening. I love my first-person narrators and all, but they take a kick in the ass to explain what’s happening sometimes.
I’m just rambling at this point and have no good conclusiony point to make, so I’ll just leave this here:
Dear friend, if you are a writer — particularly a young writer — who is reading this right now, I want you to promise me something. Are you ready? l want you to promise me that you will stay away from epithets when you are talking about characters who know one another’s names.
You do not need to say, “the blond man.” You do not need to say “the older man,” or “the taller man,” or “the smaller man.” You definitely do not need to transform adjectives into nouns and say things like, “the older,” “the younger,” or lord forbid, “the other.” (Unless you are writing the kind of academic paper that cites Lacan or bell hooks, in which using the other/Other is allowed, and also important).
I know it might seem repetitive, but using names and pronouns is enough. They are the kinds of words that fade into the rhythm of your writing, and they will never stand out to your reader. They are the words that make sense.
When you look at your friends, you’re not thinking of them as “the red-headed woman,” or “the shorter person.” You’re probably thinking something like, “Natasha’s hair is getting so long,” or, “she looks beautiful today,” or “Jamie’s got a great shirt.” You think of people’s pronouns. You think of their names. And that is what your character does, too.
yup, it's all a joke to me...
among the most enduring lessons i have ever received in screenwriting stands this one from glenn gordon caron…
(glenn created and ran the wildly successful, long-running “medium” - on which i worked for two seasons as co-executive producer - as well as one or two other things that have… you know… shaped the very face of popular culture as we know it)
…a legendarily tough grader who likes to do his master-level work without a lot of noisy fuss and bluster (and probably dislikes being singled out for public praise like this) glenn would set the table for every one of our story pitches to him with a single, and deceptively simple, request:
“tell it to me like it’s a joke.”
now, “medium” was several things - among them, one of tv’s best portrayals of a messy but functional marriage, as well as a crime procedural dotted with representations of unspeakable violence, usually perpetrated by serial killers in the psychic visions of its lead character - but “barrel of laughs” is most likely not in the top ten descriptors for that series…
…so how did “tell it to me like it’s a joke” fit into the equation?
a joke - for my money - is to storytelling what haiku is to poetry: the shortest possible distillation of formal intent. a set-up, brief development, and a punch line…
…short, sweet — and, if successfully told, climaxing in an explosive, involuntary emotional response.
for a story to work in any genre, every successful element from the macro to the micro - from the sweep of the story, to the shape of individual scenes, the arcs of the characters, and the very structure of individual lines of dialogue - should be reducible to the specific outlines of a joke.
set up, development, punch line.
as you have guessed by now, the punch line doesn’t have to be funny - it can be horrific (as it often was on “medium”) or tear-inducing, or a twist that sends the story into an unexpected direction - but it is the nexus toward which the set up and development need to work in absolute concert - there’s no room for fat on a joke, only specificity of purpose.
to this day, the “tell it to me like it’s a joke” principle guides me through story and scene development like a trusty compass: if you can tell your story in the most concise way possible and still deliver your emotional punchline, then all the adornments will fall into line as needed.
“tell it to me like it’s a joke” is neither a formula nor a cure all - it’s a test: if your concept survives on the “tell it to me like it’s a joke” touchstone, then at least you know that the gross anatomy is in place… there are still a thousand ways to mess it up, to be sure, but the airframe will fly - so long as you outfit it with all the necessary equipment.
you wanna know my favorite joke?
an aimless young artist is recruited by an organization that fights monsters… while at first she dislikes her employer and considers him a stuffed shirt, she ultimately finds in him the father she never had.
"Not to be annoying-"
no. be annoying! own it. bother your friends. we're all weird and need attention here! Be the nuisance you wish to see in the world
there’s a huge difference in the support given from “man, that sucks” and “i’m sure it’ll be fine”
Right, so I am currently facing a dilemma. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, my first one in six years. (I'm seventeen). I have to go to a specialist dentist due to being born with a cleft lip. I was meant to have a dentist appointment every three months in those six years I didn't go, the only thing is, my mum hid all of the letters I got from my dentist and canceled all of my appointments without my permission or knowledge. To make matters worse, she didn't even buy me a toothbrush at all untill i was about seven and by that point and her attitude towards brushing was 'do it or don't, it's not my problem.' So I didn't start brushing my teeth until i was about ten (I'd already lost my most of my baby teeth) when I realised it was something you were actually supposed to do. The thing is, ive only started regularly brushing my teeth in the last three years since ive started living with my grandparents and they told me how bad that was for my teeth but i still havent been able to go to the dentist because my mum was the one getting the letters. Now my teeth are in a really bad state and I know for a fact I'm going to have to have at least one filling and a few teeth removed. I'm stupidly embarrassed and I'm really worried that my dentist is going to be silently judging me and I feel like my grandparents will as well since they're the ones taking me. I'm also scared of going to a dentist in general now because of how long it's been since I've gone. Idk why I'm even putting this on here tbh, I just really needed to vent it ig. Wish me luck tomorrow and let's hope I'm not laughed at for my shitty oral hygiene.
To everyone who puts up fanfic only for it to not get a lot of likes.
IMAGINE THIS: You are sitting somewhere public, writing your story. Someone random walks up to you, asks to read what you are writing, they read it, then they say they like it.
Imagine that feeling every time you put a new chapter up, only for it to get 3 likes. JUST IMAGINE 3 RANDOM PEOPLE TELLING YOU THAT THEY LIKE YOUR STORY!
People have so much pressure to go viral, or to make something and for it to get MILLIONS of likes.
But most people don't get that. The majority of the population will never get that. And that's a cold hard fact.
But hang onto the feeling I mentioned earlier. Every time you get a new like, you brighten up someone's day with your writing. Your work was so amazing that someone took the time to read it, keep reading it, and tell you that they liked it.
My point is, (I know, this was very long lol) every like or comment counts, no matter how many or how little you get.
ok long shot here. My mum got diagnosed with diabetes and is of course very upset. She thinks it is the end of everything and every nice meal or easy time ever. Does anyone wiht diabetes have stores to share about their life and maybe good recipie resources for nice meals?
If yes please message me any way you like!
Thanks!
Also thanks for just sharing!
I made new species.
Idk if it is good or not, I called them Migs. Haven’t really figured out the law about them and the details. It’s new project.
I’ve already done a little bit of describing, but I don’t know if this is going to be the truth further down the line, who knows.
Hi so I have a friend and we call each other wife a lot and talk about people we think are pretty including each other and also also today I referred to her as "my friend who is a girl" and she replied "nuh uh I'm your girlfriend" how do I know if she likes me
Hi there ~ Key' so I want to make another papercut art on a character but I can't decide between Crowley from Good Omens or Veronica from Heathers ;; Can y'all tell me which one you would like to see first ?
I’m considering on just posting something random every Wednesday evening as it is smack dab in the middle of the week and right before my only time of the week as of late where I only have a break which is on Thursday.
Trying to follow some advice I got from artist about how people like consistency. The bots certainly seem to like it, but perhaps the real people will too.
Seeking advice: new wheelchair user
I will be using a wheelchair semi-regularly the next month to see if it will help reduce pain flare-ups / baseline pain and to figure out if it's helpful for me.
Tomorrow is the first day and I am going to uni and therapy. I have only used a wheelchair a couple of times but I'm comfortable with folding it and such as my dad's disabled and it's his wheelchair I'm borrowing. In theory I know how to maneuver around but I'm nervous about it.
Do any wheelchair-users have tips/advice for new wheelchair-users?
Extra info: it's a foldable wheelchair, brand is Quickie. I'm nervous about tipping backwards (no anti-tip), going up and down curbs, taking the metro, painful hands/arms/shoulders.
I've been in a situation somewhat like this. I have 2 older brothers and they were about to leave for a tournament so I hugged them since I wouldn't see them for a while. They were riding with some friends and one asked "where's my hug?" Frankly, I didn't even know his name, he was just one of the many guys that are on the team. I didn't want to hug him, but I didn't want to seem rude, so I made an obnoxiously rude comment that could only be taken as a joke, "No, you smell worse than that time my dog got sprayed by a skunk." He didn't smell, but everyone burst out laughing, and a few of them high fived me and they started ragging on the guy.
Now, this was a different situation and I'm pretty sure he was only saying that as a joke, but making jokes like that has always been how I respond to things like that. If you don't want to be rude, say something so rude and laugh, so it has to be taken as a joke. If you don't want to be obnoxious, be so obnoxious it's funny. Say he smells. Say you don't want cooties. Say you have a skin eating desaese that's incredibly contagious. If he STILL hasn't gotten the hint and won't leave it alone, than be a complete asshole, because at that point he's also being one.
Hope this helps!
srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
it’s a f***ing trap