Curate, connect, and discover
(At the Demolition Derby with Luigi, Guido, and Mack watch from the side in concern. They see Cruz stuck in the mud and Lightning nearby.)
Luigi: Oh shit! Lightning go get-a her out of the mud!
Lightning: I’m not doin’ it. That would be sexist
Luigi, Guido, and Mack: What!?
Lightning: This right here, this situation, this is the damsel in distress trope. And I am not about to contribute to it.
Mack: While I can agree that trope is horrible in this particular situation we need you to do this. She’s in danger.
Lightning: No. It'd be against my moral compass.
Luigi: Your fucking moral compass is a roulette wheel!
Cruz: (increasingly scared for her life) Lightning I know what you mean but this isn’t the time for that.
Lightning: I’m sorry Cruz I can’t do it.
Luigi: Look, she’s already in the situation. You just need to pull her out of it.
Mack: What if we pretend she’s just a crippled car.
Lightning: That’d be denying her sexual identity. Cruz, you do identify as female, right?
Cruz:(annoyed but getting worried over not being able to get out of the mud) Yeah and I understand. Sometimes in our culture things are ridiculous, but face it, situation is situation.
Lightning: I’m sorry. I can’t do it.
Guido: OOOOHHHHHH GOOODD!
Lightning: Think about it from my perspective! What do you see over there?
Luigi: YOUR TRAINER! AND SHE’S IN TROUBLE!
Lightning: Well I see a highly capable girl. Sure life’s beaten her down a little but that’s not gonna stop her. Nothing’s gonna stop her. She can become president of the world one day!
Luigi: NOT IF SHE’S SAWED IN HALF BY MISS FRITTER!
(20 minutes later Luigi, Guido, and Mack leave the two at the derby and back to the trailer)
Luigi: Okay, so we all agree. We’ll hide her body on the beach, if Lightning’s still alive we train somewhere else and never come back here again. We’ll-a tell Sterling we lost Cruz somehow. Good?
Guido: (Nods)
Mack: I like it!
I ship it. Works out better than Cruzon.
Cruz that Ship!
1. Cruzalie (Cruz/Natalie)
2. Cruzon (Cruz/Jackson)
3. Critter (Cruz/Miss Fritter)
4. Cruzling... (Cruz/Sterling)
Reblog if you ship Cruz Ramirez and Natalie Certain.
Welp. Goodbye Cruzon and Critter, I found a new ship for Cruz and I finally get my Cars lesbian pairing.
Make way for Cruzalie!
One is all about the numbers and how they’re never wrong while the other beat the odds.
Since y'all forgot:
Natalie’s GAY moment is when she repeats something the commentators say, like “quite the win” but Nat puts extra emphasis into it and leans in and stares at Cruz unblinkingly from afar and does something with her lip and it was massively gay
Lightning you are going to be a good friend whether you like it or not.
Spoilers! The start of the demolition derby has leaked! Here’s a clip
I like it.
What is with that random kid? I’m calling it, he’s played by one of Owen Wilson’s sons, probably Robert Ford since he can most likely talk.
If I’m right about the kid’s voice being Owen’s son than... Aww.... adorable! Best daddy! Then again, his little sons will also be watching their dad get hurt very, very brutally and being very sad throughout their movie.
Jackson has such a smug, but chill look on his face that I kind of like. He is just flipping chill.
Oh and the masochistic demolition derby cars and Miss Fritter are there too. Gale is staring at her bumper.
Let’s see Smokey, Louise Nash, Mack, Luigi Guido, Mater, Red and my girl Sally. Yeah that’s everyone.
And it's called Freeway of Love... is Fritter trying to serenade Cruz?
Crackship GO! If Cruzon doesn't work than.... Dammit I can't think of the ship name for Cruz and Fritter!
Lemonade and the Magic School Bus from Hell
Can anyone think of anything better? I want my lesbian cars!
Guys…. lea delaria did a song for Cars 3……. miss fritter jazz music…….. guys…
Oooo... this can help with my Cars couple anthology series. To the thinking of pairings, titles, and then sending it to a113Cowgirl!
Send me a ship and a fic title, and I’ll post a summary of the fic with that title I won’t write.
(Original game started by the puckurt comm mods here)
Jackson: WHERE ARE THEY?
Holley: Since I can only assume one of our shared associates I’ll just tell you Sally, Francesco, and Sterling are upstairs.
Jackson: Has it look like I give a F*** about where Sterling is!
Holley: In that case,
they are downstairs.
Jackson: Thank you very much!
Holley: Oh and Storm.
Jackson: Hmm?
Holley: Aim for his hood.
(Meanwhile)
Sterling: I just don’t understand women!
Francesco: Neither do I!
Sally: Look it’s simple, just go to her and tell her how you feel.
Sterling: You know what? You’re absolutely right! You guys are so wonderful, thank you so much.
Francesco: He’s gonna get rejected isn’t he?
Sally: Yep.
(Somewhere else)
Jackson: Finally. Finn!
Finn: What the?
Jackson: Where is McQueen?
Finn: I think he’s outside.
Jackson: Where outside?
Finn: I don’t know
Jackson: Finn.
Finn: Yeah?
Jackson: Why is there a helicopter outside?
(Outside in a Helicopter)
Lightning: What do you mean you don’t know how to fly this thing?
Cruz: I mean I don’t really know how to fly this thing. I can’t make it any simpler.
Lightning: Than how did we get up here!
Cruz: I don’t know! I just started pushing buttons!
Lightning: You know at this point, there really isn’t any reason for why I haven’t MURDERED YOU YET!
(Red beeping warning buttons start)
Lightning: WHAT DID YOU DO!?!
Cruz: RELAX! I GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL!
(They crash the helicopter into Thunder Hollow Speedway. But at the speedway...)
Sterling: But I still don’t understand. Why don’t you like me?
Miss. Fritter: You mean other than I’m not into guys fancy-pants? YOUR FRIENDS CRASHED THE HELICOPTER ONTO MY TRACK!
Sterling: It was just the one helicopter...
(Finn is now in a helicopter with Mater hanging on for dear life)
Mater: AAAAHHHHHH!
Finn: QUIT SCREAMING!
(Finn also crashes the helicopter on the track... All of them survived that day)
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
MOOOOORRRRREEEE!
GODDAMMIT! I WISH I COULD DRIVE TO SEE IT!
(1 hour later after having been throughly tranquillize.)
Cruz definitely has the face of the “this isn’t going to be good idea anymore... is it.” My god I can’t wait/hope for more adorableness from her.
Now I’m suddenly thinking Miss Fritter if human, would look like Jasper from Steven Universe.
Link to an Instagram video of a small portion of the Demolition Derby clip from the Road to the Races tour.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BSuYuE-j_pT/