Binxelf - Bink

Its a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.

Beau Taplin (via to-be-okay)

The door to the summer garden (2020)

The animalistic urge to cut certain people off all socials and emotional connections as a new year’s resolution, y’all have had enough of this wine, party’s over.

I can’t help but adore the way people love and learn to love. Because it’s so much more than just having this heavy feeling weighing you down when it’s time for them to leave, it’s so much more than just intertwining your fingers together, its allowing yourself to feel the warmth of the sun tinting your cheeks with a blush you’re not too familiar with, but the familiarity of the warmth and it’s aftertaste is savouring, it makes you want to blanket your chest, it’s the way you accept and admit the fact that you’ve come to grow rather affectionate about something or someone in a way that fills your heart to the brim so much so you no longer have control over the direction of your emotions, it’s about unfolding your love and folding yourselves right back into a form where the two of you feel complete and enough to have so much space for what’s to come,

because watching somebody learning to love is lovely, it’s grounding and I’m so proud of you for finding it within yourself to love even when you had to go through what you did, even when those around you made you think you weren’t worthy of it, so to be able to cultivate that garden with others is truly admirable

[transcript: 1. “any fear, any memory will do; and if you’ve got a heart at all, someday it will kill you.”

2. “survive what? you said. in the weak light you looked over your shoulder. you said, nothing ever survives.”

3. “because you want to die for love, you always have.”

4. “jesus: you think suffering is a one-way street?! it’s not! it’s the exact opposite of not!

judas: you got a lot of fuckin’ nerve—

jesus: —and you’ve got no nerve at all! where’s your heart in all this, judas? you think you were with me for any other reason than that?! it was your heart, judas. you were all heart. you were my heart! don’t you know that?!”

5. “he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something other than dying.”/end transcript]

rita dove, primer for a nuclear age/margaret atwood, roominghouse, winter/richard siken, planet of love/stephen adly guirgis, the last days of judas iscariot/maggie stiefvater- mister impossible

Some of you will romanticize doing face masks together or you’ll romanticize coffee in the morning after a night of love making but no one talks about how quickly that stops being important. No one romanticizes true care and compassion.

Does your partner give you the space to discuss your feelings without making you feel like your emotions are irrational?

Do they interrupt you in front of others? Do they talk over you?

Do they give you the space to work through things on your own if need be? Do they offer you solitude without guilting you for ‘abandoning’ them?

Does your partner share responsibilities with you? Do they notice the tasks that are too much and offer to take over?

Do they ask you what you need when you’re overwhelmed? Did they take the time to learn what overwhelms you?

Do they know where you keep your medicine? Did they check to see if you’re keeping up with your hygiene? Does your health matter to them?

Raise the bar.

You’re all so much more deserving.

Today felt long, today felt heavy, today felt strong, I wasn’t quite ready, and I think it’s ok if all I wanted to do today was wrap myself in a blanket, because I deserve to have a soft whispy sigh kept the leaf I picked up from street on the side of my pillow today

i think it’s wonderful the way people put themselves out there, be it their word or presence, in mind or in soul, they have my heart. We all come from our own sets of backgrounds sharing our own sets of personal experiences and I wonder who actually knows the kind of influences we have around us, to maybe keep things to ourselves or be able to lay it on the table, because it’s absolutely wonderful watching someone learning to grow past those experiences and choosing to take a step, I truly and deeply admire you for saying that and it must’ve been incredibly hard to go through those intrusive thoughts and getting till the end of the road, but I promise you I will be waiting, forever and more if it means that you’ll be taking steps to get there :) please continue doing what you do I love how we share our love and our thoughts, it’s so stupidly brave and passionate.

Normalise not being ready to face a day, not every day is supposed to be your best , and not every day is supposed to be the most productive , at times you’re just ready to wake up and not be up for facing the rest of your tasks and thats ok , sometimes all you can do is survive and that’s more than enough :)

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌