Here Again To Tell You That Some Days Are Just Not Going To Be That Easy, Some Days You’re Going To

getting anonymous hate (“just checking in” emails) from jealous haters (my professors) because of my hot takes (incredibly overdue assignments)

i think it’s wonderful the way people put themselves out there, be it their word or presence, in mind or in soul, they have my heart. We all come from our own sets of backgrounds sharing our own sets of personal experiences and I wonder who actually knows the kind of influences we have around us, to maybe keep things to ourselves or be able to lay it on the table, because it’s absolutely wonderful watching someone learning to grow past those experiences and choosing to take a step, I truly and deeply admire you for saying that and it must’ve been incredibly hard to go through those intrusive thoughts and getting till the end of the road, but I promise you I will be waiting, forever and more if it means that you’ll be taking steps to get there :) please continue doing what you do I love how we share our love and our thoughts, it’s so stupidly brave and passionate.

Settling does not equate to stagnating growth. You get to choose whether you want to move forward or be anchored down by what you choose to attach yourself onto. It's simple to emphasise the necessity of change and the need for adequate adaptation. Stressing the reality that change isn't always necessary—perhaps you've achieved your peak or have chosen a stable course for yourself—is equally vital. Give yourself time to realise where your wants and needs take you and whether it respects you. This does not necessarily imply that you don't want to leave your comfort zone, as you will still continue to grow endlessly.

I’m the kind of person who’d enjoy watching someone, telling me the way around , how they’re familiarised with their surrounding , how they know the ropes , how they know the people , how they remember the time at which the mailman delivers daily letters for those at work , how they know about the girl who gets the sweetest coffee in office , how they know about mrs.Clark’s newly purchased Mary Janes, since she wanted to keep up with the trends but ended up falling in love with the pair , how they know who sits where, how they know when to approach someone or not. The overdose of empathy and familiarity in the workplace makes me feel so domestic , it’s such a content feeling seeing someone settle down and get to know others , gets me thinking who would’ve initiated conversation, the first date, the first meeting, the first party, the first get together , the first call. Their first everything, and the growth and relationships they’ve nurtured, has me fascinated.

~ Ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

Growth is constant. Always and forever, even when you feel like you’ve done nothing productive throughout your day, even when you feel like you’ve come to a stop, even when you feel like you haven’t moved past a point in what seems like ages, even when you feel like you aren’t over the loss of a figure, even when you feel like you can no longer feel yourself anymore. My precious reader, I hope you understand just how much courage it takes to come to terms with the mere fact of not having done anything today. Admitting it to yourself is far more than enough. You are breathing, growing and you are constantly giving every living second of your life. You are reciprocating emotions, you are finding a way through your thoughts to draw this very conclusion, you are processing so many different interactions through the span of the past few hours, yet being able to continue to communicate, Respect that.

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

You can encourage someone to believe that they can stand right back up, but not that they must always be standing regardless of how hard they’ve been hit. You need rest just as much as you need to take a stand. You have it in you to counter an issue even after something has not turned out well, but you also have to remember to sit down every once in a while because you’re not supposed to be standing all the time to fight a battle. You’re not supposed to be on guard with a sword for a hand to come at anything that goes your way. You could be sleeping, confiding in someone, baking, drawing, crying, and you’re still fighting it all the time, it isn’t the action that defines your strength, it’s your will from within that keeps you going and rooting the belief that you can, and you very much will once you’ve got your gold fish bars up and you’ve fed your cats and taken a power nap and had that bath and that milkshake and you get my point :) it doesn’t have to be so rough and tough on the exterior all the time. The clouds could be someone’s cushioned haven, but they’re still capable enough of bringing upon a storm, so what if they’re having their own time in a picnic with some rainbows and perhaps a little drizzling here and there? Let them be!