So I‘m Rewatching Good Omens With My Mom And I‘m Hollering Because I Just Imagined The Story Of Season

So I‘m rewatching good omens with my mom and I‘m hollering because I just imagined the story of season 1 from Shadwell‘s point of view.

Imagine you scam a dude who you think is mafia into paying your rent for sixty years, to the point where the mafia mans son takes over his place as your sponsor. Parallel to that you convince some naïve old bookseller who you‘re pretty sure is gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide to also send you money every month under the guise of providing him with an army. (What in gods name would the pansy need an army for? Who cares, at least he pays amiright). This carries on for decades. Those two couldn’t be more different people. Until one day you walk in on the southern pansy performing what can only be described as a satanic ritual and promptly exorcise him with nothing but your index finger, then return to your landlady (?) who you‘ve been insulting despite clearly being quite fond of her for the better part of your adult years.

Said woman then suddenly becomes possessed by the gay demon you JUST exorcised with your finger, only it turns out he‘s actually a good guy and while still trying to come to terms with the fact that your finger is capable of expelling demons, the world is ending and the woman of your heart is possessed by an angel, said angel promptly orders you to rush to Tadfield on a flying moped to kill an 11 year old boy with nipples all over using a century old cannon that you cannot possibly be sure actually works.

And then, when the day couldn‘t possibly get any weirder, your other sponsor - the scary mafia dude - shows up IN A BURNING CAR (which admittedly isn’t even the weirdest thing that happened today) and isn‘t only acquainted with the gay bookseller but seems to be unmistakenly, hopelessly, ready-to-jump-him-at-any-moment, head over heals in love with him and now you have to third wheel the mafia dude and his boyfriend who‘s currently stuck in your future wife‘s body, only to witness the boy you were meant to kill make up a whole ass new body for the gay angel out of thin air, then tell off his dad - who seems to be satan in carnate - then get told off by his adoptive dad who has about as much of a clue as to what happened as you do. Also your new recruit dips to a small english village because he fell in love with a witch, despite you telling him to set them on fire on sight.

Like if he hadn‘t been utterly mad before, I‘m sure Shadwell would‘ve been at the very least institutionalised after all this.