Blorbusshmorbus - ★Blorbus Shmorbus★

Absolute gems from the old my chem website

fuckwits also don't, we may be stupid, but we're not as stupid to support him.

a lesbian said that her favorite iwtv character is armand and I said oh I'm suuuuuuuure. like lesbians have a relationship with armand that is so deep and meaningful that it can only be compared to dionysius and his bacchantes.

Anyone else noticed the way Felix is always baring his neck?? Like even the first time he meets Oliver he's doing this:

Like literally just tossing his head back and exposing his throat. We get this shot of Felix so many times that it's almost a motif lol he does it again here:

And of course he does it in the tub:

And again, for the very last time, in the maze :

Any time I see an image repeating like this over and over again I start wondering how it is significant. If we're reading Saltburn as an non-supernatural vampire story, which imo it absolutely is, we can see Felix's repeated vulnerability. He's exposing his life force to Oliver. We see the pulse in his neck, thinly veiled and beating under his skin. We see his fragility and his exposure and Oliver sees it too. Oliver, functioning as a 'vampire' of sorts, just wants to take. And take. And take from Felix. His obsession with consuming Felix in turn functionally consumes him. He never kisses Felix, he never gets that "bite" Felix is opening himself up to in these moments and I don't think any amount of Felix would be enough for Oliver. Further, i think Oliver actually recognizes his own insatiability in those final moments in the maze and decides that he is going to take Felix in the only way he knows will be complete and absolute. The utter finality of death appeals to Oliver in that moment because he wants everything to *last* and if he can end Felix's life, he knows at least he can do something to Felix that will be eternal.

Which leads us to see Felix hanging his head. He has no life force left to bare to Oliver anymore. He slumps his shoulders and crouches in on himself in these final moments. Oliver has finally drained him.

(guy who has so much fucking work to do voice) i should write a fic

I am a victim of Illi McMillin propoganda

The 2054 nuclear family

Inflamed Sense of Rejection: Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: This is that Angel Face backstory I was talking about. His name is Caleb Handover because I'm not going to call him Angel Face the whole time. There will be no "spice" because I type this on a school computer and honestly I want to expand my writing abilities. ~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a horrible way to start a journal, probably the most over-done and unintriguing sentence used to start a story, but my name is Caleb Handover. I’m 16 years old, and I live in Wilmington, Delaware. I go to Mt. Pleasant High School, class of 2001. That makes me a Junior.

It’s boring. Every single day is the same. The ducks pass over the sky when I’m walking to school, and it looked cool when I was nine, but nowadays it just feels like I’m watching someone drive to work. 

Delaware duck schedule: 6 AM, wake up to the same alarm as everyone in the neighborhood. 7 AM, fly to the pond for breakfast and a bath. Pass by that blond kid again. 

My hair was born white. People on the street asked my mom while she was pushing the stroller, why do you bleach your baby’s hair? 

She never did. 

 First period is Advanced Placement Calculus. I’m thinking about ducks. Derivatives, ducks, hyperbolas, ducks, factorials, ducks, integrals…

My mom called my hair duck-fuzz.  

I like math, but I only say that because high schoolers have to like something. If you say you don’t like any subjects in school, you sound like a wannabe-dropout loser. I’m 16 years old and taking AP Calculus. I don’t think I’m a wannabe anything, but I don’t think I’m genuine, either. I’ve already done the warmup question on the board. Find 34! It’s just a factorial. Does anyone see me?

“Caleb Handover?”

Only during attendance. 

I raise my hand until my elbow is about six inches off of my table, parallel to the smooth, fake-wood surface. Not high enough to seem like a geek, but still giving effort.  

Invisibility is a science.

“Here.” 

There’s a pause. My hand stays in the air.

“Caleb Handover?” my teacher tilts his chin up and surveys the room, his pencil hovering over my name, ready to write truant. 

“I said I’m here,” I said louder as I raised my hand higher. My pen balances between my peace-sign fingers. My teacher flicks his eyes to me, and his eyebrows soften. He adjusts his glasses. The sad taste of desperation lingered in my mouth after essentially begging to be accounted for.

“Oh, hello Caleb. Sorry I didn’t see you.” My teacher laughs dryly and clears his throat. “Serena Hofstadter?” 

She has mono. 

“Gordon Jacobs?” 

That’s how Serena got mono.

For a moment I picture Serena and Gordon as Romeo and Juliet during the final act. Gordon drinks from a tall, crystal vial of mononucleosis extract and collapses. Serena, covered head-to-toe in orange spray tan and blonde highlights underneath her Shakespearean garb, discovers him on the floor and gives a tearful soliloquy before kissing him feverishly in an attempt to drink the mono from his lips. In the end, they’re both bedridden, and everyone knows. 

In fair Delaware we lay our scene.

I don’t know why, but I’m angry at them. Serena and Gordon. My knuckles turn white as I grip my pen harder, gritting my teeth and thinking about my peers who go to parties to drink and kiss and do drugs. I didn’t even think parties were a real thing until I started listening to rich kids’ conversations. 

“I got home so late last night…” quote from the boy wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“I’m, like, so hungover.” quote from the girl wearing sunglasses indoors at 8:30 AM.

“Her house was so tacky.” quote from the girl whose locker is head-to-toe in sequins and leopard print, who uses perfume to cover the smell of anxiety pheromones. 

I’m not jealous, and I’d rather have lifelong diarrhea than be in the same boat as these kids, but it would be nice to have a life. 

It would be nice to be a part of something bigger than myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: Please let me know what you think, and if I should keep writing this. It would be appreciated :)