Aliens Have Captured You, And Placed You In One Of Their Nature Preserves. However, They Have Sorely

Aliens have captured you, and placed you in one of their nature preserves. However, they have sorely miscalculated on two issues: The amount of calories needed to keep a persistence predator sated, and the lethality/brutality of a hangry human.

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More Posts from Bluslvrlion and Others

1 year ago

Story time:

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.


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1 year ago

Wednesday: If i must stoop to such lows as love than at least my future partner must be cold, calculating, intelligent, successful and organized.

Enid: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Wednesday: That one. For some terrible reason, I want that one.


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1 year ago
Enid: Howdy! (🥰🌸💞)
Enid: Howdy! (🥰🌸💞)
Enid: Howdy! (🥰🌸💞)
Enid: Howdy! (🥰🌸💞)

Enid: Howdy! (🥰🌸💞)

Wednesday: Howdy. (💀🔪💣)


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1 year ago

Hey, hey! Friendly reminder to make sure your supposedly “fearless” character gets their darkest fear revealed in the worst way possible so they break down into a vulnerable shaking mess in front of all the people they care about 

1 year ago

people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman


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10 months ago
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday
Jenna Ortega As Wednesday Addams Woe Is The Loneliest Number, Wednesday

Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams Woe Is the Loneliest Number, Wednesday


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1 year ago
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense
Follow Me On Twitter For More Vampire Nonsense

Follow me on Twitter for more vampire nonsense

1 year ago

Wild how the queer community has been fighting tooth and nail for generations to have some semblance of inclusion and just the desire to not be beaten, arrested, or killed for existing.

Then there is less than 10 years of policies put in place to help us start being treated more humanely and the Conservative party is like “Actually we rather you die again” openly and proudly.

Wild how allowing ppl to live has made them so angry and more open about their fascism.

Meanwhile half of the younger queers online are too preoccupied with terminology and gatekeeping fandom engagement while our country actively works to eradicate the community honing social media to propagate propaganda.


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10 months ago

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem


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1 year ago
What I Learned Watching a Co-Worker Get Forced Out
Medium
Corporate Glossary: every Friday, learn the secret meaning of common corporate words

“They’re trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?” She asked.

As soon as I heard the term ‘Constructive Discharge,’ I knew I’d never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.

“No. What does it mean?” I asked.

She explained.

“Constructive discharge is a fancy way of saying “being forced out.” It’s not good. And if you’re not a lawyer or in human resources, you’ll probably learn what it means when it’s happening to you.”

“Oh my God. I’ve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.” I thought.

You’ve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. We’ve all made choices to avoid it.

Constructive discharge defined

“We can’t fire you, but we’ll make you so miserable you’ll quit, and then we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”

Then there’s the textbook definition:

“A constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.”

Or as one person put it.

“I didn’t get handed a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.”

HR isn’t always the secret police.

Employees aren’t always victims of evil-doers.

However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, “We didn’t do anything wrong, YOU did,” power structure.

Constructive Discharge looks like this:

— Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and you’re excluded from emails and generally looped out of what’s going on.

— People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.

— Your emails don’t get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.

— Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.

— Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.

— Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.

— Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your “poor performance”

— Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.

— The words “Set up to fail” were practically invented to describe this scenario.

Constructive Discharge is illegal

It isn’t easy to prove you’re a target, and it’s even more challenging if you don’t even know constructive discharge is a real thing.

If you’ve ever experienced this and don’t fully understand what’s happening to you beyond knowing you’re in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. It’s not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.

Talk to anyone who’s ever been through it. They’ll tell you.

Knowing constructive discharge exists and how it’s used gives you power to predict what’s coming and to protect yourself.

Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.

You know what to expect. Having a sense of what’s coming next is enormously empowering. You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.

Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employer’s endgame.

Remember, they’re almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesn’t persuade you to quit.

If you’re getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.

You’re not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and it’s carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.

If they force you out, in addition to feeling horrible, you lose your paycheck, benefits health insurance, and possibly owe them money.


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