Retribution

old married couple au

soo... this au won the poll, i am a little late, but the post promises to be long (i hope this is a good thing for you. because for me it is). i'll give you the exact dates and all that, because i feel better when everything is accurate. well you know

they got together in 1998, 6 years after pb began acting in "mr peanutbutter's house". it's just that bojack suddenly realized that his life seemed quite brighter with pb by his side, and that he was attached to him, and was no longer under the yoke of his homophobic mother, and decided to, well, give it a chance (same with pb, but less thoughts and worries). one day they somehow kissed, after a while discussed it and made their minds to "try" (no one really believed that this relationship would last long). and well they just... stayed like that. never broke up. feeling absolutely comfortable together and eventually not even considering ending the relationship or anything like that.

they got married around 2009, a year after the ban on same-sex marriage was lifted in california (at that time they had been dating for about 12 years). the show begins in 2014, respectively, at that time they had been together for 16 years, and had been married for 5 years.

as mentioned in another post about this au, they still have the same problems, but bojack has much less regrets behind his back, which is why his guilt and trauma are far from as strong as it was in original. he gets annoyed with pb when he is too positive about everything again, and pb gets annoyed with him when he tries to drown out problems with alcohol - substance abuse is still the case, but to a lesser extent. discussing feelings for them was initially a huge problem (because both are not good at it, and pb also tends to deny any negative emotions), but over time they somehow learnt how to work with it. they often screw up, but they try to get better, really. i vouch for them. they're doing their best your honor

they completely understand each other, to the extent that one can sometimes predict what the other will say verbatim. they have 10001 local jokes. while classics are more gentle and calm, these ones rather give the impression of that old flighty married couple who make fun of each other and initially you may not even understand why they are still together at all and how they tolerate each other... of course can also be super sappy sometimes, there's no doubt, since they're both lowkey a bit romantic - especially pb, boj often just plays along with him

both do films. bojack, unlike his classic self, still stars in some movies, but does it less often, because he is mostly disappointed in this field already; pb loves his career and accepts all kinds of offers. sometimes they star together in the same works (half of such cases end up with both of them being kicked off the set in disgrace)

by the way they like to throw parties in honor of each other! it's kinda their tradition. both try to make it as lavish and luxurious as possible, eventually turning it into another competition.

they live at bojack's place, yeah (it's just that bojack's house is familiar and i like it more lol. can also help to distinguish them from classics if it matters)

relationships with others:

princess carolyn is still bojack's agent, but at least now she doesn't have to dig him out of all sorts of troubles every single day. she has to dig out them both (but not that often) (something like attacking the postman or saying nonsense that will ruin your reputation. or setting a fire in the house because someone got distracted by tv), especially when pb becomes her client too. they are generally on good terms

at one of the halloween parties they also let todd stay at their place because they think he is a poor gay boy who was kicked out by his parents (pb persuaded bojack). he sleeps on their couch, but he can put things in the closet. he was once offered a guest room, he stayed in it for a couple of days and returned to the previous place because he likes it there more.

pb and todd are in the most positive relationship possible and quickly find common ground, while todd's relationship with boj is not the easiest, but good. pb tries to smooth things over whenever bojack gets annoyed with todd and treats him not very well, so overall they even have a bit of an idyll at home. many misadventures still remain there (like disneyland or halloween in january), but often bojack is also involved in some way (not by his will). todd's their son <3

i also like to think that boj still hires a ghostwriter for his biography because he wants to raise his popularity and take on the acting career more thoroughly. he and diane become friends as a result too, some arcs with their joint participation are preserved, some are not, depending on which ones. however this time there are no hints of a romantic relationship for understandable reasons

so in general, as i said, this is the original with minimal settings and with a pleasant (for some of us) bonus in the form of bobutter. suggest ideas and ask if you are curious about something! thanks for reading! <3

mr peanutbutter after talking to diane in s05e08

raguma would you draw mr peanutbutter over this its importance

yes thank you lyril. with full understanding of the importance of this picture, i tried to convey its mood as accurately as possible

ahem ahem friends, in case you don't know who the alpha couple is… it's a fictional couple who appears in mountain goats songs. also the entire tallahassee album is dedicated to it, and i strongly advise you to listen to it. btw that popular song "no children" is too from this album and about them

okay i want to put my two cents in that whole children thing too

tbh i've never thought about the idea of them having children, together or separately, but! if (could it be considered the 293948th au? probably not) hollyhock forgave bojack after the end of the show, and they somehow patched things up with each other... that would be... cool. i just feel sorry for this old dummy, and his interactions with her were not very successful but strangely sweet... and, in fact, if he still had a more or less close relationship with not only a member of his family, but also with another horse, it would be a great growth for the character i think.

bojack would be extremely awkward with her then. he would choose every word he says and try as hard as he could not to disappoint hollyhock again. he would also be very happy every time she texted/called or even visited them, but still remain kinda low-key due to his self-doubt?

pb would be completely comfortable! oh it's bojack's sister! she's sweet! so they wouldn't have any problems. he'd most likely even act as some kind of intermediary between them.

they'd also try soooo hard to stay on the same wavelength with her. because of the age difference it would be a liiittle difficult! pb sends hollyhock funny "meme-style pictures" every time he sees them (stoned fox or pepe the frog at best) and hollyhock responds with a simple "lol" or "haha" quietly cringing. bojack realizes that this is not what makes modern youth laugh and grumbles every time but pb doesn't listen to him.

from time to time hollyhock would also recommend them some games or recently released cartoons/tv series and they would actually play/watch them! just imagine how these two go through undertale together for example... pb openly sobs over the ending while bojack sits with a stony face trying to hold back tears. or she would recommend her favorite bands/singers and it would be mitski or will wood (?!?!)

anyway, i love this cliched concept with parents who have that "how do you do fellow kids" vibe and their cringing child, which is so often used in sitcoms. it brings me happiness and heals my soul

you know what. i think you're being too rude to captain peanutbutter. he's doing his best

ok old married couple au, they’re both on the porch smoking, bojack gets a phone call, is like “here, hold this” and sticks his cigarette in pb’s mouth. PB starts smoking both cigarettes, and once Bojack is done on call he just lights another instead of taking his back from PB

This is funny in my head i hope im able to astral project that straight in your mind effectively

BRILLIANT brilliant idea

but it seems to me that omc!pb would only smoke when he was very nervous (as it was once shown in the first season), so this situation is more suitable for alphas, maybe at the beginning of their relationship?

anyway you inspired me and i made a comic:

pb after a spam attack on bojack's phone:

Take me out tonight

Where there's music and there's people

And they're young and alive

Driving in your car

I never, never want to go home

Because I haven't got one anymore