Borderlinepersonalitydisaster20 - BPDisaster

how does one get over a summer love?

Can’t feel anger without physically punching walls or holding in the intrusive violent urges so much that it makes my arms physically burn and hurt

Can’t look at someone who’s even moderately attractive without desperately falling in love and imagine a whole life together

Can’t feel “happy” or moderately excited without feeling like my chest is about to burst and the only way to get it out is to literally vibrate and yell

Can’t feel sad without spiralling immediately into just wanting to stop existing

Can’t feel nervous without teeth chattering chest burning about to throw up

Or just don’t feel anything at all when (apparently) I am supposed to

bpd culture is wishing you could feel emotions normally

.

I hope you die, *****. Or I hope you move away forever and I never see you again. But it’d be satisfying if you just died. I wish I could forget you existed and erase all my memories of you. But it’d be more realistic if you just died.

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

Fuck everything fuck everyone fuck the central line fuck uni fuck the government fuck inflation fuck the economy everyone should just fucking die and I am going to go live in a post-apocalyptic country side

I'm so fucking tired of splitting on people. I just fucking said a bunch of shit I didn't want to say cause I'm overwhelmed and stressed and I just...I'm so fucking alone and didn't know what else to do. Fucking hell I want to be rid of this stupid brain.

but sometimes I am also a narcissist and am afraid everyone is in love with me

I have bpd, of course I assume everyone hates me until proven otherwise

oh I’ve stopped. I’ve realised how nasty you are. Selfish, rude, self absorbed lowkey kinda ugly, undisciplined loser. Enjoy your life. So glad I’m free from you.

At this point being in love with you has become a part of my personality. So what’ll happen if I stop?

(Source: @mysillycomics! I got this off Instagram so I didn’t know it cropped the artist credit out!)