Boxoflives - Home To Wind And Rain

i sit. i listen to my number one song from spotify wrapped 2023 concorde by black country new road. i think about dead poets society. NO YOU DON’T GET IT BECAUSE YOU LIKE CONCORDE I CAME A GENTLE HILL RACER I WAS BREATHLESS UPON EVERY MOUNTAIN JUST TO LOOK FOR YOUR LIGHT??? BUT FOR LESS THAN A MOMENT WE’D SHARE THE SAME SKY??? AND I’LL COME TO LIKE A CHILD BTW.

Art is not my friend right now

I am filled with so much jealousy for other’s art, I am unable to enjoy my own.

Art is not my friend right now.

I can’t come up with anything new. I miss the days where this wasn’t a chore. We aren’t friends right now because I want my art to be something it is not.

Art is not my friend right now. I can’t make my hands create what is in my head.

Art is not my friend right now.

But all I want is for our friendship to return. It may be selfish, I want her to bring me joy. She might be the only one that can. I want to bring her to life, so we can walk hand in hand amongst creation.

Art will be my friend again soon.

GUYS I AM COOKING I FEAR-

SO. IVE SAID BEFORE. THAT WE NEED HUNGER BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE IN YELLOWJACKETS. We've already had Free & Dream girl Evil, AND Just a Girl. So. Yellowjackets is no stranger to her music. Anyways, I was listening to the song. Thinking again about how it should totally be in the soundtrack. And I'm listening to the Lyrics "the way you use your body baby come on and work it for me" and I thought awww TaiVan coded-

And then I remembered. That Van is totally gonna die and the end of the season. So allow me to set the scene. Van dies, of whatever cause it may be. And as suspected by many, Tai will cannibalise her. Duh. This is Yellowjackets. But hear me out- Hunger is playing in the background. Its cutting between teen TaiVan probably making out or something. And then to Tai cannibalising Van. Kinda like the banquet scene- IT WOULD BE INSANE- and thats the cliffhanger of the season. Because like, we all know that the adult timeline is totally gonna resort to cannibalism. 100%. We love to see character regression. BUT IMAGINE THAT- WE SEE TEEN TAIVAN BEING ALL SWEET, ADULT TAI CANNIBALISING VAN, AND THAT SONG PLAYING. ABOUT LOVE AND HUNGER AND DESPERATION AND DEVOTION- YELLOWJACKETS PLEASE 🙏🙏

Scraps from today

in the pilot jackie teases shauna abt her “catholic phase” and to that shauna responds that she liked the saints bc she thought they were “so tragic”. in the last ep of s1 during their fight the first insult shauna calls jackie is tragic. she calls her other things too but its so intresting that the first thing she thinks of is tragic. to me thats like a freudian slip. jackie was shaunas saint.

Haiku #2

prince turns to pauper in the the dying sun's arms for all else is lost

To create

I have been itching to create something,

to have my fingers covered in bright paint.

I just want to make something worth loving.

Bright colored art to make life seem less quaint,

dull tones to assure you, it will be alright.

Paintings big enough to cover a wall.

Five sculptures, all worth being basked in light.

Too much art to fill just a single hall

I want to cover canvas with dark ink.

To make something that evokes emotion

With shadows and highlights that make you think.

Maybe it will be a dark, vast ocean.

All I can say is that until I do, 

I must settle and cherish the sky’s blue

I feel like a whore. 

Used and disgusting. 

Why did I say yes?

I thought it would make me feel better about myself. 

It didn’t.

Why didn’t it?

Why?

I've betrayed God.

And for what?

Some girl I barely know?

(I've known her my whole life.)

She doesn't love me.

I don’t love myself.

Off to sleep

When I close my eyes to look for sleep’s touch, I think of you.

I think of how our fingertips brushed

How much it meant to me, how little it meant to you. 

I hear your breath laughing in my ear at some joke I didn’t say,

but I wish I did. 

I remember all of the time we spend together,

even if you don’t. 

I can still see all of the little notes you left on my desk

which I wish I kept not just in my heart, but in my hand as well. 

It is all so comforting, as I drift away.  

Just to know you are in my life. 

Even if you are not mine.