Boxoflives - Home To Wind And Rain

Statue of a woman in the Vatican

Thx @garciailoveyou for the tag!!! My music is a little all over the place.

B: Bonfire by Childish Gabino

O: Ooh La La by Faced

X: X by J Balvin

O: One of Your Girls by Troye Sivan

F: Femininomenon by Chappel Roan

L: Lillies by Ethel Cain

I: I Wish my Baby was Born by The Be Good Tanyas

V: Vroom Vroom by Charli xcx

E: Everywhere Everything by Noah Kahan

S: Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain

@firenati0n @autumnentirely @kimstills

Write out your URL with songs

Tagged by: @cozy-writer (thank u 🫶🏼 I love doing this shit)

SKIN OF MY TEETH - Demi Lovato

Cut - Tori Kelly

All Too Well (10 minute version) - Taylor Swift

Right where you left me - Taylor Swift

LUNCH - Billie Eilish

Espresso - Sabrina Carpenter

Thing u do - Tori Kelly

The Only Exception - Paramore

JOLENE - Beyoncé

EAT ME - Demi Lovato (ft Royal & the Serpent)

Misery Business - Paramore

I Hate It Here - Taylor Swift

L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole

You’re On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift

No pressure tags: @unsuub @jareauism @tenaciousarcadeexpert @devrxes @spicybleach @theunholyvirginemilyprentiss

cannibalized by my own jealousy

Envy consumes like a starving fire, Devouring all that's in its ire, Ripping apart what's not its own, Gnashing teeth, breaking bone.

Claws reach out to grab and shred, Leaving nothing but crimson red, Territorial in its gruesome feast, Not a scrap left for even the beast.

Digesting every ounce of worth, Leaving only an empty dearth, Jealousy spares no part or limb, Tearing apart even the strongest vim.

A monster within, hungry and vile, Feasting on envy, keeping it on trial, Until it has destroyed all in its path, Leaving just a carcass, in aftermath.

pretty

What do I have to do?

Paper thin and delicate

(So far from me)

Thin little lines, not the ugly kind

Bones of glass

Skin like water

Hands that fit into another hand properly

Canyon gap between legs

Face soft and structured

(not me)

Starve? 

Pray?

here and now

Here and now I stand still.

Wind bends around my cheeks.

The earth is still yet somehow I move at a million miles an hour.

(yet my feet never leave the place they are rooted )

Life is frozen in time, yet everyone I know is fifteen years into the future.

My life is groundhog’s day, except that i can't get out. 

Trust me, I've tried.

Air doesn't fill my lungs the same way anymore.

Have I overstayed my welcome?

Where do I belong?

Who do I have?

I have nobody.

I trust nobody, yet I love so many.

I think that there are people who say they love me out of pity.

I miss having someone I could call and spill my tainted blood to.

All the lies I've told.

All of the thoughts that have fought their way from the pits of my stomach to my lips.

Poisoned by my own voice

Betrayed by my own truth.

A cycle of apology and transgression.

Here and now, I come to a close.

If I am being truly honest with myself,

When I think realistically about my future, 

I know in my heart I will be alone. 

It’s not that love isn't something I yearn for.

I do. I really do. 

There is this fire in my heart that wants to be put out.

But I know it will always burn.

It’s not that I am incapable of loving. 

At least I hope not. 

It’s just that I can’t really see why anyone would want to deal with loing me.

From what I know, 

Which isn't much, 

Is that love is supposed to be through thick and thin. 

Love is supposed to be filled with little moments,

Like thinking of them while you fall asleep,

Like getting to know every little thing about them.

Love is supposed to be like coming home in their arms. 

And while I feel like I could feel all of those things for someone else, 

I know nobody would feel it for me. 

Who would want to?

They want to love someone interesting. 

Someone happy. 

Someone smart. 

Someone real. 

I’m none of those things. 

No matter how hard I try. 

I hope one day I will get the hang of it. 

Being lovable. 

But I suppose for now, all that is, is a silly, childish dream.  

Scraps from today

explode

I am afraid of so much.

Of getting older.

Of change.

Of moving on.

Of sleep.

Of school.

Of never finding love.

Of routine.

Of the fact that my friends probably don’t love me.

Of failure.

Of loss. 

Of me. 

My collection of fears has grown so large, that my brain has become a museum for them.

Stuffed to the brim.

But new fears continue to be added to my collection everyday. 

I wonder to myself, in a whisper of thought, “Will I have enough space?” 

Or will my brain overflow and explode. 

That is my greatest fear.

Explosion.