Goodnight To Crazy People Only

why does my man look like a cardboard cutout 😭😭

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

I was tagged by @cffeine in a tag game where you only color whats true abt you!! Ty for the tag :)

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

And im taggingggg @lotus-reblogs @evilkaeya @emtearzz @seukorei :)! No pressure ofc 🫶

STOP MAKING MY LIL AWKWARD NERDY BOYS BE CONFIDENT AND SO SURE OF THEMSELVES!!! I LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE NERDY NOT BECAUSE YOU FANFIC WRITERS MAKE THEM EGO MANIC ASSHOLES

Hurts

Warnings: None :) short and sweet

@bougiebutchbinch

Wade sat in the back seat of the Honda, silently sobbing. His skin, was just too much. He felt too much. 

“Hurts Hurts Hurts” he muttered like a mantra. He was Deadpool! He shouldn’t have to take off his mask and cry because his skin hurts. Every burn has a meaning, a different scientific test they put him, a different pain. 

“Wade?” Logan asked from afar, interrupting the stream of “hurts”. 

“No don’t look at me!” Wade whined with the tone of a teenager telling their parent  to close the door on their way out.

“Wade are you okay?” Logan asked, in response Wade didn’t say anything, just pitifully shook his head. Logan took him in his arms. 

“You’re okay… We’re okay.”

they are boyfriends ur honor

The Definitive* Waist Ranking of the 2025 Grid

*not definitive at all but this did take literal hours of my life

Back markers:

Gabriel Bortoleto

The rookies are at a disadvantage because of the lack of photos, but everything about what I could find suggests this man was drawn with right angles only. Also, highly cursed image ahead, this is your only warning.

Pierre Gasly

Shaped like a Lego brick. Too many abs, not enough waist. Note the presence of an actual waist chasing him down. Nil point.

Isack Hadjar

This is again more for lack of evidence - the racing suit definitely wants me to think there's a nipped in waist there, but other shots leave me thinking he's real solid.

George Russell

Another victim of abs for days. This hurts me as much as it hurts you. The flare of hips is not enough to save him.

Oliver Bearman

Probably my first controversial ranking, but not the last. I know, you picture him and there's a tiny grabbable waist, right? Miniscule. But it's a lie perpetuated by his ridiculous Superman-shaped shoulders. I fear as he bulks up for a full time drive, we're going to lose what little waist we have.

Midfield

Nico Hulkenberg

Could use a little more dad in the dad bod, you know? Not a lot of curve, but a smidge of something to hold onto, keeping him clear of the back markers

Liam Lawson

Go girl, give us nothing! I think maybe, maybe, you could squeeze past him and tuck your palm to the slight suggestion of a curve there, but why would you? To be fair, he's suffering from comparisons to teammates past and present.

Fernando Alonso

We remember what we once had, and are gladdened by it. But those days are lost, under the shadow of night, as if they never were. Exceptional evidence of what once was provided by @lights-out-away-we-go

Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton is another case where the shoulders are doing a lot of work creating the illusion of a waist, and then slim hips are dispelling that. He does not have a very grabbable waist. This does not matter, because Lewis Hamilton could wear a sack and still draw the eye.

Lance Stroll

This one surprised me. I really thought the exceptional arse on this man would push him high up into the points. But... eh. It's fine? Probably better in the middle of the winter break when he softens up a bit.

Lando Norris

Initially a strong contender, but I actually think it's the grey panels of the fireproofs doing all the work here. Excellent illusion, but grabbable? Not particularly

Carlos Sainz

From the back, exceptional. From the front, almost nothing. This is baffling to me and scientists everywhere.

Alex Albon

I'm putting Alex in the points because even though I can't find good photographical evidence of the waist, I believe it is there. It's my Loch Ness Monster. Alex Albon has a grabbable waist and you won't convince me otherwise

Esteban Ocon

Now, this noodle does have a waist, but it's not the most grabbable. He's also getting an hourglass bonus from marginally wider hips and a decent bust (more on that advantage later). But that waist looks very solid, probably feels like pinching marble, no give. He is at least outscoring Pierre.

Kimi Antonelli

We unfortunately have strong evidence of Kimi's grababilty. This should be illegal. Until the FIA clarifies the regulations, though, he's high in the points.

FUTURE MAN BUT IF IT WAS A BOOK?!?!

hi hi ^_^ !! so i decided to start a serious of future man but if it was a book !!! honestly im doing this for my own entertainment but you can read it if you want! it will be posted in chapters :D

all rights belong to Hulu and the creators and producers of Future man, this is just for fun! Not my original story, just the series in story form! Some parts I will not write about (one example being the YOU KNOW WHAT scene with his mom) and will be toning down and will be changing slight scenes and such to make it to how I like :) this doesn’t mean everything will be changed! Just snippets.

I hope you enjoy!

PROLOGUE - Future Man (S1)

Burning. Fire spits out of the pile of paper in the warehouse, panting breaths of a family nearby. Running, from what? Since the war broke out it’s impossible to tell. Fire. The only thing that keeps a person warm, and even now they can’t stay in the same part to comfort themselves. The only thing that keeps them warm is running. Running away from the enemy. A little boy dressed in rags drops his stuffed toy, in the dirt and dampness of the warehouse. He reaches forward, desperate to keep the only thing to comfort him, but his father pulls him back. “Leave it.” he drags him to his feet. “Just leave it.” he spits. They continue running.

And just about in time. When they turn the corner to hide, that’s when the Biotics arrive. Dressed in all black armour, the distinct red lights on their chest blinking. The helmet that covers their fleshy, grotesque appearance, with a gun in hand. The lead Biotic steps on the toy, with no care for human life whatsoever. Biotics don’t have feelings. They don’t have a soul. The family knows they’re coming, and the family knows they’re to be dead soon.

“Behind the dumpster, quick!” the Father exclaims, shoving his poor kids into a corner behind the dumpster, the wife goes next, then him. “Get down, hush.” Their hiding place doesn’t last long. The Biotics are already there. Despite being the worst example of life on the planet, the Biotics are smart. They’ve perfected navigation skills, and have practically perfected everything you can think of. “Please, don’t hurt them!” the father exclaims, grasping onto his kids for dear life, the only thing that keeps him alive is his strive to help his family survive. If they were dead, surely, he’d kill himself. The lead Biotic reaches for him and picks him up by the scruff like a stray cat, he hurdles him into the trash while his wife gives a blood curtling scream. The Biotics are winning. Of course they are, they’re unstoppable.

At least that’s what you’d think.

I lower my high tech binoculars. I watch him hit the ground with a crash. I see the Biotic point his psychoblaster directly at the man’s family. And I don’t flinch as I blow a hole straight through it. The family looks up, terrified, yet, confused. What had caused this Biotic to suddenly go limp? The answer to that question? Me.

I stand straight in my uniform, pointing the gun to where I had perfectly shot a deep, burning hole into the stomach of the Biotic. (That is, if they even have stomachs). It falls, and I lower my gun. I don’t smile. “Now that’s what I call a hole in one.” I’m perfect. From my hair styled neatly, to the padding on my boots. The armour is solid, pure strengthened oppilume, (a metal from my time), with the bright blue wires connecting to my neck brace to keep the Biotics from trying to decapitate me. My shorogyt gloves which hold my own X28 Psychoblaster, given to me by the resistance. But I have no time to gloat, more Biotics are on my way. Their shots fly past me and I shoot back blue rays of electricity, It startles them, they stumble.

I manage to make my way across perfectly, doing flips over piles of garbage. I grab a long metal stick, probably a part of the collapsed building, on my way and stick it straight through another Biotic. As I crush his skull, I kick another into an electrical box, causing sparks to fly and for the Biotic to go limp. Three down. One to go. “There’s the shock.” I say confidently, the family hugs one another, the father manages to limp back towards his wife and kids and embrace them tightly witha sigh of relief. I smile at them. “And awe.” A Biotic attempts to throw a punch, I duck at the perfect time. I block its hits with my arm, I manage to grab it as I punch off its mask, its disgusting face becoming revealed as it screams an alien-like scream in my face. I silence it with a Subatomic Sensor mine, planting it in its chestplace and throwing it back, and turning away before I can see its limps spurt out of the orange glow of an explosion.

As I walk towards the family, I pick up the kid’s skeleton toy. “Hey kid, I think you dropped this.” I say gruffy as I give the little boy, who is looking up to me in awe, his toy back. “You’re safe now.” I say with a nod of my head. But I frown. “Can’t say the same for the rest of humanity.” The other child, a teenage girl, looks up at me with big, glistening eyes. “Who are you?” she asks in awe.

I stand straight and proud, but no smirk on my face, I lift my head. “I’m Future Man.” I tell her.

The father looks at me, I expect him to thank me and– “Joshy.” I pause. What? No. That’s not my name. “No.” I correct. “I’m Future Man.” I say with a little bit of agitation, admittedly I could be a little less harsh. But it’s starting to get on my nerves now. “Joshy!” says the teenage girl.

“Future. Man.” I correct again.

“Joshy?” says the little boy I gave the toy back to. I huff impatiently. How could they not understand? I look to my left and put my hands on my hips. Joshy is a name I haven’t been called in many years. Not since my parents were killed by the—

“Joshy!” my dad whispers. And I wake up. I sigh. “Dad. You don’t have to wake me up, okay? I have an alarm clock.” I grumble, keeping my head to the pillow, I know my bed hair is all over the place, and I don’t really want to look right now. My Dad smiles. “Yeah, but not one that makes you pancakes!” he exclaims. He taps the bed. “Come on, you little buddy boo!” Ugh. How I hate that nickname. I’m not a kid. I sigh heavily as I yank the bedsheets off of me. “I’m an adult! You don’t have to make me pancakes!” I watch my Dad leave without another word, and I sit up, getting out of bed, I step on something and it cracks. I look down and see it. Snapped in half. I pick up one half.

“My joystick!”

hope you enjoyed and lmk if you want me to keep posting this ^^ it was honestly just a little thought I had but I just wanted to share it!!! okay byeee!!!

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life.