Of Course I Would Like A Tag 😊

Ok, but like...

Damian being a stabby murder baby, BUT ALSO the quirky art kid.

Everyone at his school (he goes to in-person school, sue me) is TERRIFIED of him, and rightfully so.

One time he stabbed a classmate with a paintbrush after they knocked into his art table and spilled his paint across his canvas. Do you know how hard it is to stab someone with s paintbrush?

NO ONE goes into Damian’s art studio (except for Alfred because he runs the manor). Tim goes looking for the belongings that Damian steals from him in the studio. He comes out with nasty bruises every time.

But the thing is, Damian creates the most beautiful things! The rest family is astounded by what can create. How can Mr.Iwillstabyouifyoulookatmewrong paint such an elegant recreation of Titus' face!?

Everyone eventually stops questioning it.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Dick: *walks outside without a coat in the middle of winter* oshabooshabrrrrr

Tim: did you just... what the hell was that?

Dick: it's cold...

Tim: and your first reaction is "oshabooshabrrr"?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said (and done)

*whole family is sitting in the living room*

Jason: *coughs*

Tim: *dives off the couch and slams into wall trying to get away from Jason*

Jason: What the hell. I don't have the plague...

Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.

Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!

Steph: I don't have a dad

Jason: I don't have a mom

Dick: You guys have parents?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Tim: *in a heated debate with steph* it's so boring! Dead children, dead children, dead children, nobody cares! Walton files is so much better!

Jason: what the fuck did I just walk into.

@oliveid

the jazz-mandated spec ops gossip sesh 🥂

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.

*whole family is going out for dinner*

Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.

Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?

Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.

Bruce: oh... well... oops?

Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.

Bruce: ...

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!

Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?

Damian: tt useless.

Tim:... you little-

Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.

Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.

...

Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.

Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.

Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.

*leaves to get the sledgehammer*

*a couple minutes later.*

Bruce: how... how did you?

*Cass standing next to the open door*

Cass: credit card!

Jason: million dollar security system my ass.

FUCK YOU GUYS

i might disregard this but it'll give me an idea of what way to go in ALSO don't even fucking WORRY about it ITS FINE.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Tim: Duck tape fixes anything.

Tim: Car breaks down? Duck tape.

Tim: Coffee mug chipped? Duck tape.

Tim: Get Stabbed? Duck Tape.

Dick:

Dick: Tim, no.

Okay, but like...

Jason loves to mess with his siblings. That not particularly unique, as most siblings love to annoy each other. Only difference is that Jason is a little shit. Most of his "jokes" involve property damage.

One time he put Tim’s laptop into jello (he watches the office, sue me). Tim loaded all his guns with jolly ranchers in return.

Damian’s katana has been mutilated by Jason several times. It's always washable, but annoying all the same. A perfect example of this is the 'Syrup Incident' in which Jason coated everyone’s favorite weapons in syrup. Dick's sparky sticks were actually damaged by that prank....

The only one who rivals Jason in property damge has got to be Steph. I mean, come one, it's Steph.