HOLD. THE. LINE!

Guys, Don't leave yourself in these situations. Speak up, it doesn't make you weak or less of a man.

PSA from Blobby. Something we should talk about more ❤️

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.

*whole family is going out for dinner*

Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.

Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?

Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.

Bruce: oh... well... oops?

Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.

Bruce: ...

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!

Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?

Damian: tt useless.

Tim:... you little-

Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.

Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.

...

Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.

Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.

Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.

*leaves to get the sledgehammer*

*a couple minutes later.*

Bruce: how... how did you?

*Cass standing next to the open door*

Cass: credit card!

Jason: million dollar security system my ass.

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Damian in the Sons of Anarchy AU still speaks English like that but this time its Jason’s fault since he taught him to speak like a Victorian aristocrat because he was petty about being kidnapped and made a babysitter to his baby brother in a foreign country.

Ok, but like...

Damian being a stabby murder baby, BUT ALSO the quirky art kid.

Everyone at his school (he goes to in-person school, sue me) is TERRIFIED of him, and rightfully so.

One time he stabbed a classmate with a paintbrush after they knocked into his art table and spilled his paint across his canvas. Do you know how hard it is to stab someone with s paintbrush?

NO ONE goes into Damian’s art studio (except for Alfred because he runs the manor). Tim goes looking for the belongings that Damian steals from him in the studio. He comes out with nasty bruises every time.

But the thing is, Damian creates the most beautiful things! The rest family is astounded by what can create. How can Mr.Iwillstabyouifyoulookatmewrong paint such an elegant recreation of Titus' face!?

Everyone eventually stops questioning it.

FUCK YOU GUYS

i might disregard this but it'll give me an idea of what way to go in ALSO don't even fucking WORRY about it ITS FINE.

My brother: explaining Fortnite for the 50th time.

Me: confused af, but happy to have a conversation that doesn't involve arguing.

Him: You get what I'm saying.

Me: Absolutely not, but I'm happy you're happy bud.

Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War

Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.

Previously: Tim then builds a team...

The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.

It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".

Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.

The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....

By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.

God help poor Alfred.

Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".

Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.

I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.

Were you the one who made the video of Donnie hugging Leo before bolting up to the kraang? I've been trying to find the video for ages and can't seem to find it 😭 (doesn't help the song is stuck in my head and isn't place it!!)

You mean this one? ',:)

Jason: *wailing dramatically in a long victorian dress with a lit candlabra down one of the many dimily lit corridors of the gothic mansion at midnight*

Bruce: *turning on the hall lights* Jason, we’ve already fucking talked about this