Brock08 - Untitled

Well it seems after a long period of struggling, there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. Finally got called back into the kitchen and from the sounds of it I’ll be in a supervisory role. Couldn’t have come at a better time, shit was getting pretty dark for the past couple weeks.

I still miss you. I still think about you. I still would love to hear from you, even just to know you’re ok.

Thank you for proving that I deserve so much better.

Just hurts and is kind of bullshit you have to be this petty. I wanted better with you, and despite everything you’ve done, I still care about you and will always be there if you need a friend. What we had was and will always be special to me. I wish we could have been so much more, but clearly, you’ve made your decision.

Who knows maybe we’ll meet again under different circumstances or in another life and we’ll get another chance. You’ve got an absolutely gorgeous soul, please don’t hide it forever. Be well and find peace Princess.

The shitty decline when someone you care about intensely decides to humiliate you publicly, treat you like garbage, and pretty much rip your soul into pieces because you care and Yet they choose to use that against you and break you down over and over....... that feeling right there, is something I will never be able cope with or “unfeel”. It is a heartache unlike any other, especially when you know that person is in agony due to other factors in their life. It’s self inflicted soul pain that you’re doing out of love and it eats you from the inside out.

Glad to see you’re doing well, would have loved to talk to you but not the time or place. I’ll respect your wishes, and wait for you to ready to talk if you ever are. I really do still miss you, and hope things with your family and health are going better. I’m still confused and kinda struggling to find my way after everything, but I really do wish nothing but good things for you. I really hope you haven’t lost sight of the beautiful soul you tried so hard to hide, and realize that you do deserve to be loved and cared about. I still think you’re absolutely gorgeous, and I will always be here if you want or need to reach out.

Time to quit drinking again, while the momentary numbness is kinda nice, it’s not really doing anything for me but turning me against myself and pushing all those I care about away. So let’s try this whole sobriety thing out again, it’s going to be rough at first, especially alone. I know it will be more than worth it in the end. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I’ve thrown away too much already.

Looks like I’m moving to Ohio, goodbye Hillsdale. Thank you for all the good times and great memories.

That feeling when you realize your “friends” have a better chance of getting to see or spend time with the person you love most in this world simply because they don’t have romantic feelings for her………… that fucking sucks.