Latest Posts by bubbleguppies42 - Page 3

watching house for the first time why is foreman always hitting the

can someone send me a feral ask.. i want to write something absolutely fucking foul and disgusting about house or wilson thank you

robert sean leonard doesn’t get enough love. that man is so hot. i need him carnally.

I like how Wilson always either looks like a guilty dog who’s just been told off for chewing up slippers or like he just got his rocks off and hasn’t quite recovered yet, no middle ground

Sometimes baby girl is a man in his forties 🤷‍♀️

house md is the only fandom by far that i like because I hate all of them but I also love them. like chase, i fucking hate your guts, but I also love you. you're so pathetic. cameron, get a grip, you're falling apart girl. you also scare me. foreman, you're just a dick. i fucking love that. wilson, you're also falling apart, like real bad. also, you're gay as hell, stop getting married. lisa cuddy.....you're the only i like. but you're also a pushover sometimes, but I'll forgive you. and oh. do we even have to talk about house. no. no we don't.

House s2 e17, All In, fills me with primal animalistic lust because why do they all look so good

GOD DAMNNNN

Robert Chase would unironically listen to Unwritten and Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield. He is the basic white woman of men, and I love him for it.

this blog is a safe space for your most unhinged james wilson thoughts 🙏

(my asks, comments, and dms welcome you)

starting a collection

Girls don't want money, girls want Robert Sean Leonard as James Wilson

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WILSON AND CUDDY'S TENSION IN SEASON 3??

like holyy we know you both want to fuck house but you're eye-fucking each other like your lives depend on it

especially in 3x9 when cuddy was crying in her office

(I don't know who I want to be more)

concerned and confused, my favorite genre of wilson

I want to squish him ouh...

#real

ducklings i'll be honest daddy's about to kill himself

pov house when he talks about foreman

this is why I have tumblr

Ughhh just thinking about Wilson licking off thar stripper’s body in season 5 . I’m just wishing that were me 🥵🥵

i see u eye to eye anon but real question is when do i get to do body shots off him?

hilson is so funny because it's Wilson going "we're not gay" and house going "he's lying btw lol" and simultaneously rsl going "house and Wilson aren't gay it's just bromance and everybody is too obsessed with yaoi" and Hugh Laurie going "house and Wilson probably fuck raw and cuddle afterwards"

how did the writers of house do that. how did they make the queerest, deepest, oddest, gayest, weirdest relationship ever. how. house and wilson are so, so, them. i havent seen ANYBODY able to replicate that vibe, that,, 'im straight, but gay, also this is my husband' vibe. its, like, impossible yet so there in housemd.

I will be publishing my first wilson x reader fic sometime tomorrow!

feel free to send requests, though the response might be a little slow ❤️

yes yes and yes

#james wilson #omg this was so so good

#ilovefluff

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — James and Reader go to a medical conference together and are forced to share a room, but after one bad night's sleep a prank war is waged

WARNINGS — a stripper? porn mentions? ig?

NOTE — Okay for this one I gotta shout out @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey for helping me work out some kinks with the ending and providing the middle picture, but I really love how this turned out and I hope you guys like this silly one shot as much as I do

“Jesus Christ you drive like a grandma,” you yawned, dragging your suitcase through the hotel doors. 

“I don’t drive like a grandma; I drive the speed limit,” James asserted and you rolled your eyes. 

“We would have been here ages ago if you’d let me take the wheel.” 

“No we would have been in body bags,” James retorted. “Come on, it’s late, let's just check into our rooms and get this over with.” 

You nodded in agreement and made your way over to the singular receptionist, informing her you had booked two rooms in advance under both yours and the hospital's name.

“Um, I’m only seeing one reservation here,” she said. “This is for the medical conference right?” 

You both nodded your heads, confused as to what could be happening. 

“If you don’t have another one under the hospital do you have a spare room? Anything will do, we can just expense it,” James suggested. 

“Unfortunately not,” the lady shook her head. “We’re fully booked. There’s just the one room.” 

You pursed your lips and looked over at James with a frown before turning your attention back to the receptionist. 

“So you’re telling me not only did I have to drive with grandma here all the way from New Jersey, now I have to sleep with him?” 

“I wish there was something we could do, maybe you can get your hospital to contact the hotel to get credit or some reimbursement.” 

“I think I’ll need psychiatric care for this, but thanks for the offer,” you said sarcastically, picking up your bag and moving away, letting James take care of the rest of the check in. After a few minutes, he came up to you and handed you a hotel key, pointing to the room number on it. 

“Psychiatric care? Was that really necessary?” he asked. “And you’ve slept on the couch in my office, this cannot be that bad.” 

“Yeah, but you weren’t on the couch with me genius,” you rolled your eyes. “This is gonna be a long few days.” 

“You’re telling me,” James raised his brows as you entered the elevator together. 

Once you got to your room, as if sharing wasn’t bad enough they put you in a cramped one with a queen sized bed. 

“I’m gonna choose to ignore the glaring close proximity of this space and go get ready in the washroom. Any objections?” 

James pressed his lips together and shook his head saying he’d get changed out in the room while you were in there. 

You took your time, so you’d have some excuse for acclimating yourself to your sleeping situation. Brushing your teeth and caring for your hair and skin made the extension of time a little easier to justify. When you were finally changed and completely ready, you unlocked the door and stepped out of the washroom watching as James’ eyes widened at the sight of you. 

“What is that on your head?” he pointed. 

“It’s a bonnet,” you said simply. 

“A bonnet? Like, as in baby’s bonnet?” 

“No,” you shook your head, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “A bonnet as in a hair bonnet so it doesn’t get frizzy when I sleep?” 

“And what’s that on your teeth?” he asked, noticing the other interesting contraption you had in your mouth. 

“A mouth guard, James, seriously are you gonna ask me where I got my pyjamas next?” 

“You talk with a lisp when that thing’s in your mouth,” he pointed as he walked past you to the washroom.

“Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious,” you rolled your eyes and moved over to the bed, pulling back the blankets and slipping underneath the covers. 

You glanced at the clock and saw the late time, figuring it was probably a good idea to get some sleep since you’d have an early morning. How naive you were. 

It took James less than ten minutes to be done with what he needed to do in the washroom before he came to join you and it took even less time for him to fall asleep. 

And with sleep came the most monstrous snores you’d ever heard. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but it could have been an eternity of you staring up at the ceiling, your eyes twitching, wishing for sleep, but unable to rest while laying down next to a fog horn. 

Eventually you figured your best bet was to either suffocate yourself or James with a pillow, but settled instead on using it to cover your ears. 

When the sun peeked through the curtains and you could feel James shift next to you, you turned around to watch him closely while he woke up. 

“Good morning?” he yawned and looked at you with a hint of confusion. 

“Yeah, maybe for you,” you scoffed. 

“You look like hell,” he commented, noticing the tiredness in your eyes and sluggishness of your demeanour. 

You didn’t say anything, simply throwing the pillow in his face before getting up and pulling off your bonnet and mouthguard. 

“Where are you going?” James asked. 

“I’ll see you at breakfast,” you waved at him and grabbed your hotel key and a coat, not bothering to change out of your sweatpants before leaving the room. 

James spent the rest of the morning a little confused by your actions, but he put it behind him and instead took a quick shower, getting dressed, brushing his teeth, and shaving before heading downstairs for the hotel’s breakfast. 

It was there that he ran into you, still in a sleep t-shirt and sweatpants with a large jacket overtop. 

“Where did you go?” he asked, walking up to you. 

“To get you these,” you threw him a box and he caught it with a slight fumble before looking down to see what it was.

“Nose strips? Why?” 

“Because you snore louder than my maternal grandfather mixed with a foghorn. That’s why.” 

James looked offended, “I do not snore,” he insisted.

“You think I would look like this if you didn’t, Wilson?” you pointed to yourself. 

“I’ve had three wives, I think one of them would have told me about this,” he said. 

“Well maybe you developed sleep apnea, I don’t know,” you threw your hands up in the air. “Just use the nose strips and go to the sleep clinic when we get back to New Jersey. Wouldn’t want wife number four dealing with that.” 

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” he said, shoving the small box in his pocket. 

“I couldn't care less, I am running on zero hours of sleep so what you are gonna do is get me something to eat so I can take a shower and pop back three caffeine pills and hope for the best.” 

James didn’t have much of a chance to argue with you so he listened, making you a breakfast sandwich and wrapping it in some napkins before moving to go eat his own food. 

When you came back downstairs, you looked a lot better. James assumed the shower had helped a little bit with waking you up, but getting through a whole day of seminars would be tricky. 

“You feeling better?” he asked, handing you the sandwich. 

“I will after I drink this,” you held up an energy drink, but James quickly snatched it from you, reading the caffeine content. 

“How many pills did you take?” he asked. 

“I don’t know like four?” you said. 

“You can’t drink this, you’re gonna have a heart attack,” he said, throwing the drink in the trash. 

“Wilson!” you whined. “That was my wake up juice.” 

“I’ve seen you pull an all nighter and then do back to back cancer patient consults, you’re going to be fine,” he assured you. “I have to make sure I get you back to New Jersey in one piece.” 

“That’s rich coming from the person who broke me in the first place,” you snorted and James rolled his eyes before nudging you and motioning for you to follow him into your first seminar room. 

You were greeted first by some of the people at the registration table as you grabbed your schedules and name tags, hanging them around your neck. 

“Are you planning on going to Dr. Joyner’s talk on this new joint treatment?” James asked, pointing to his schedule. 

“I don’t know, I just figured I’d follow you around everywhere,” you admitted. “You know I hate coming to these things, I only do it because I have to.” 

“I thought you were coming to support me,” he frowned. 

“Well, yeah that too I guess,” you waved your hand dismissively. “But otherwise Cuddy forced me to come so here I am.” 

“Well, I think we should go because it might be a good thing to introduce for some of our breast cancer patients,” he explained. 

“Whatever you say Dr. Wilson,” you sighed. 

Your disinterested nature was, however, somewhat of a farce. In reality you did think Dr. Joyner’s treatment methods had proven to be very successful and could be worth applying in your own practice, but if you seemed too happy and excited your eventual retaliation against James for your lack of sleep last night combined with him throwing out your energy drink would seem less justified. 

The talk was interesting just as you had predicted and you and James both took ample notes, planning to corner Dr. Joyner to get her information to ask further questions about how it might look to implement the treatment at Princeton Plainsboro. 

“I have to moderate a panel during the next block,” James said. “Do you want to come, or is there another session that interests you more.” 

“No I’ll come with,” you nodded, sensing this would be the time to seize your opportunity. 

It was simple, silly even, because sitting in the second row from the front gave you just enough cover to discreetly flip off James as he was talking, making him look at you incredibly confused and lose his train of thought. 

“Dr. WIlson?” one of the panelists asked. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes, sorry,” James apologized, hoping the red tinge on his ears wasn’t noticeable. He continued speaking but kept looking back over at you, knowing he couldn’t do anything without a whole room of doctors seeing. 

You seemed to have distracted James enough for there to be a few embarrassing moments where he fumbled over his words, possibly thinking in his mind what he could do to get back with you, but drawing a blank and in turn getting distracted from his job of fielding questions for the panelists. 

After the session was over and you broke off for lunch, James came to find you only to see you had slipped away into the masses, all a part of your design of course. 

Knowing he would want an explanation for your behaviour you figured you’d grab your food first and sit down, waiting for him to find you. 

Just as you had predicted, he found you and pulled out the seat next to you, sitting down. 

“What the hell was that for?” he asked. “Is this still about the snoring? I told you I don’t snore.”

“Actually,” you said loudly. “This is about the fact that you gave me-,” 

James quickly rushed forward and covered your mouth, knowing whatever could come out of it would not be good so you fought back by stomping down on his foot, watching as he let out a loud enough yelp to cause some heads to turn. 

You removed his hand from your mouth and said, 

“The finger was for all the snoring, that was for my energy drink.” 

“You’re a child,” he winced in pain, holding his foot in his hands. “A child with a mean stomp.” 

“I’m just evening out the scales Wilson, don’t worry, we’re even now.” 

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “You better watch your back, this is not over.” 

You smirked, “Am I sensing we’re about to make this conference ten times more interesting.” 

“To stay on theme, you started it,” he stuck his tongue out and you grabbed it before he could pull it back into his mouth. 

“Don’t underestimate me, Wilson. You forget I have to sleep in the same bed as you. Nowhere is safe.” 

You let go and wiped your hand off on his shirt before turning back to your food. This is exactly what the weekend needed. Just a little bit more entertainment. 

You were on your guard for the rest of the day, watching James’ every movement, but nothing ever came. 

Even once you had made your way back upstairs to your room and were getting ready side by side in the washroom, there wasn’t even the simplest retaliation or splashing water on you from the faucet. 

“What’s that?” James asked, pointing to the container you were holding. 

“Oh it’s just a serum,” you shrugged. “You should try it.”

“I’m good thanks,” he shook his head and looked back at his toothbrush. 

You weren’t gonna take no for an answer. 

“Come on James it’s not battery acid,” you rolled your eyes, trying to squeeze some from the dropper on his face but he quickly covered himself and tried to push you away, but wasn’t fast enough to see your hand coming from the opposite direction, squirting the solution all over his face. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, while you grinned in victory, rubbing in the serum over his forehead and cheeks. 

“Why are you like this?” he asked. 

“I thought you knew, we’ve been friends for long enough,” you chuckled. “Come on, today was boring, let me have some fun and do your skincare.”

“And why should I trust you with glycolic acid near my face?” he asked. 

“Oh, someone knows their stuff,” you chuckled. “You should trust me because it’s like only 7% strength and won’t hurt you unless it gets in your eyes or mouth or you have a sunburn.”

James opened his eyes again and couldn’t help but smile a little when he saw how much fun you were having. If anything it would help take his mind off his big presentation the next day. 

“Alright, you win this time,” he said. “But don’t think I’m gonna make this a habit.”

“That’s what they all say, just wait, you’ll change your mind.”

You got him to lean against the counter, pulling out a few things from your makeup bag and then taking the next thing out putting some of the solution on your hands before rubbing it under his eyes and around his forehead. 

“Hey watch it,” he swatted your hand that looked like it was coming for his eye. 

“Oh stop, I was just trying to smooth out your eyebrows,” you squished his cheeks with your fingers. 

Next was an exfoliating scrub and you watched as he scrunched his nose at the feeling on his skin. 

“Stop being such a baby,” you chuckled. “It’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, well excuse me for not thinking this is the sequence of events that would occur when I heard we’d need to share a room.”

You smiled to yourself, “Me neither, but this is kind of fun. Like a sleepover.”

James rolled his eyes at your comment.

“Yeah for you maybe. It feels like my face is getting molested right now.”

“Stop being so whiny,” you flicked his cheek. “Now wash your face off.”

He happily obliged, getting all the gritty textured product off his face before letting you do the finishing touches. 

It seemed to be taking a while so James decided to ask, 

“Are you done yet?”

“I’ve been done for five minutes,” you chuckled. “I’ve just been rubbing moisturizer all over your face to see how long you’d let me go for.”

James glared at you with a small hint of amusement in his eyes before turning around to leave, escorted out by your giggles. 

You finished getting ready in the washroom, only coming out when you realized you didn’t know where your bonnet was. 

“Wilson, have you seen my bonnet?” you peeked your head out of the washroom and asked. 

Seeing it on the bed he grabbed it and brought it over to you, placing it on your head and over your eyes like an oversized hat. You lifted it up to get a better look at him, noticing he was wearing one of the nose strips you bought him alone with a pair of glasses. 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” you commented. 

“I don’t,” he said simply. “I wear contacts, this is just for the evenings.”

“The things you learn when you’re forced to share a room with your colleague,” you hummed while adjusting the bonnet on your head. After you were content with its placement, you went to join James in the bed, both of you taking a moment to really observe the other and all of their sleeping gear. 

“You know I thought I was high maintenance,” James noted. 

It may have looked like overkill, but it never felt like overkill when an eye mask and some ear plugs would give you a good night’s sleep. 

“Yeah, you still look like a grandma,” you retorted, mostly a comment on him doing the crossword in bed with his glasses perched lower down on his nose. 

Climbing into the bed you turned off the lamp on your side and lowered your eye mask, allowing James to continue his crossword while you slept. You wished him a goodnight with a yawn and figured that would be the end of it. And it was…until it wasn’t. 

— 

“Wilson, what the hell did you do?” you asked harshly, coming over to him at breakfast and holding out your ringing phone. “Non-stop since six in the morning!”

“You haven’t picked them up?” he asked. “What if it’s an emergency? You really should take care of that,” he said while serving himself some fruit salad. 

With the next ring you caved, wondering exactly what it was he had done and when you listened to the person talking on the other side your eyes went wide before hanging up the phone. 

“I need to change my number,” you said, shocked. “You put out an ad for me? What the hell did it say?” 

“Oh, I don’t know who did it,” he lied. “But I think I came across something that said: Call me to make your dreams come true. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.”

“Oh my God! Ew, ew, ew! Wilson that is messed up!” 

“I didn’t do it,” he continued lying. 

“Oh cut the crap,” you rolled your eyes. “You picked a bad day to retaliate. Remember, you’ve got your presentation which means I have the upper hand.” 

James looked at you warningly, 

“You asked for it, Wilson. Prepare to deal with the consequences,” you pinched his cheek and left to go and grab some breakfast and then deal with your phone company to try and change numbers. 

As if James was not already nervous for the presentation of his paper, you had just gravely upped the stakes. 

He was the first speaker of the day so he decided to get in early, only to see you chatting with one of the organizers. He quickly walked over to meet you, but before he got there you had shaken the organizers hand and a deal was sealed. 

“Ah Dr. Wilson, I just met your colleague here,” Dr. Mwanza smiled. “She just offered to do the introductions for you this morning.” 

“Oh, great,” he forced a smile, trying to seem pleased with the outcome, knowing it couldn’t be good for him. 

“You made the right decision, Dr. Mwanza. No one knows James here like I do,” you wrapped an arm around James’ shoulder and kissed his cheek, watching as he turned beet red from the contact. 

“Well, you two seem very close. I can’t see anyone more fitting for the job.” 

You smiled and waved goodbye and watched as the hall began to fill with more and more doctors. 

“You ready, Wilson?” 

“Not anymore,” he groaned and went up to the stage where his notes were, preparing himself for whatever it was you were planning on throwing at him. 

Within the next ten minutes, everyone had returned from breakfast and were sitting in their seats, waiting for things to begin. 

Dr. Mwanza handed you a microphone and you stood up on the stage, looking back at James who was wringing his hands in his seat. 

“Good morning everyone,” you welcomed and began introducing yourself. “I’m here today to introduce you to my colleague, Dr. James Evan Wilson, who has done some fascinating research on cancer patient care. Now since you guys don’t know James here like I do, I’ll stick to the highlight reel and then we can let him talk.”

There was a small chuckle from the audience before you continued. 

“James went to McGill for his undergraduate and then proceeded to do medical school at Columbia and then a specialization in oncology at UPenn. He’s worked at Princeton Plainsboro for the past ten years and is the head of the department while also simultaneously providing consultations for the diagnostic team. On a more personal level, he’s painfully single and looking for a real connection so make sure to corner him at lunch if you know what I mean.” 

James simply squeezed his eyes shut and prayed you wouldn’t say more, but it still kept coming. 

“But if snoring is a deal breaker for you, you may want to skip out on that. Anyways, I’ve probably embarrassed him enough for now, so I’d like you to join me in welcoming Dr. James Wilson.”

The room clapped and James used whatever energy he had left in him to stand up and move forward, taking the microphone from you with a glare and then fixing it to the stand on the podium while you sat behind him on one of the chairs on the stage. 

As much as James was embarrassed by your previous comments, at least you hadn’t undermined his work, so he used his best acting skills and began to share about his paper and all of the research he had been doing over the past few years. 

When his talk was finished there was a period for asking questions and you could sense James wanted to drag things out as long as possible so he wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout of your comments about being single. 

Either way, a break finally had to come and his presentation came to an end, allowing you to finally see the fruits of your labour. 

It felt as if for the rest of the day there was a line of people waiting to talk to James, granted a few had questions about his paper that they wanted to discuss further, but most were testing the waters to see if getting a date was a possibility. 

After maybe the 20th person had come up to talk to him, he finally started saying something else, seeing an opportunity to get back at you. 

He waited until you were around to put his plan into play, coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

“Wilson, what are you doing?” you asked. 

“Payback,” he whispered, kissing your cheek before turning your chin so you were looking back at him. Your foreheads were now resting against each other and he quietly whispered. “You forgot we have witnesses who’ve seen us go into the same room and I’m a very convincing actor. Now everyone’s gonna wonder why you told the whole room your boyfriend was painfully single.”

“Well played, Wilson. Game recognizes game. And just because you figured out a way to weasel yourself out of this, I’ll let you have it, no fighting back.”

“Good because I’d probably get a pretty bad reputation and then get reported to Cuddy for harassment otherwise,” he reflected. 

“Yeah, I’m not that mean,” you patted his cheek. “But as usual-,” 

“Watch my back, you’ve got something else up your sleeve. Well, so do I.” 

“Best conference ever,” you grinned and James chuckled at your childish attitude. He would have been perfectly content taking in the content like the other doctors, but he had to admit this was a lot more fun and you brought a pretty good challenge.

By the end of the second day, you had managed to figure out to route all of your calls to James’ phone, forcing him to deal with the problem he had created for you, but he had also come back just as hard by sprinkling glitter in your purse when you weren’t looking, and knowing when you were in a rush to find something you’d dump it all out on your lap creating a mess that would be a nightmare to clean up. And as if the glitter wasn’t enough he told anyone who would listen that you’d visited a strip club last night. 

You walked back up to your hotel room after having gotten separate dinners, (you had called in for James’ reservation and pushed it by an hour), finding it hard to fight a smile while he looked at you extremely annoyed. 

“I don’t suppose you had anything to do with my reservation,” he asked you in the elevator. 

“A magician never reveals her secrets,” you shrugged. 

“I had invited Dr. Joyner out to dinner, but I’m guessing you didn’t know that,” he said. 

“No, but that makes it ten times better,” you laughed. “God what did you tell her?” 

“I didn’t know what the hell was happening, what was I supposed to tell her?” he asked. 

“Well if it was a date you could have used it as an excuse to go somewhere more intimate than the most crowded restaurant this side of Boston,” you shrugged. 

“It wasn’t a date,” he said when the elevator doors opened. 

“That look on your face is telling me otherwise,” you pointed to his red tinged ears. 

“It wasn’t a date,” he repeated. 

“Why are you so set on convincing me it wasn’t?” you turned around and asked him before entering your room. 

“I-You-,” he cut himself off and shut his mouth. 

“Smart move,” you raised your brows and unlocked the door, pushing it open. 

“What’s all this?” James asked, stepping inside, noticing a few balloons and streamers along with a container and gift bag on the counter. 

“Okay, I might have pushed your reservation because I felt bad for embarrassing you on your big day.”

“You did this? I thought you had dinner plans?” he asked. 

“This was it,” you motioned to the room. “Well I had to go out to get some of the stuff and then I got lost and hungry so I got some food and then I did this.”

James walked over to the container and opened it, seeing a small cake inside that was decorated with icing and read:

Congrats on the paper Dr. Wilson

“Awe, well I guess you do have a heart,” James chuckled. “Thank you, this is really sweet.” 

“Come on, we’re roommates,” you shrugged. “It was nothing.” 

“Should I open this too?” James asked motioning to the gift bag. 

You nodded your head and he peeked inside past the wrapping paper chuckling when he saw what was inside. 

“I had to find a build-a-bear for that,” you explained. “I had a vision and I had a feeling no one else would be able to execute it.” 

“A grandma doctor bear,” he said, pulling out the stuffed animal. “It’s perfect.”

He placed the plushie down next to the cake and came over to give you a big hug, followed by a kiss to your cheek. 

“Even though we’ve been kind of in the midst of a really intense prank war I am still really proud of you,” you said while he was still holding on to you. “And you’re right, I didn’t come here because Cuddy forced me to, I wanted to be here when you had your moment, even though I kind of ruined it.” 

“No, you didn’t ruin it,” he assured you. “It wasn’t lost on me how you didn’t insult my practice or my intelligence, just my personal life.” 

“Yeah, cause that’s so much better,” you laughed, finally pulling away from the hug. 

“In this case, it was probably the nicest way you could have embarrassed me,” he tapped your nose with his finger. “And I’ve had a lot of fun, probably more fun than if we hadn’t started this ridiculous back and forth.” 

“So are you saying the game’s still on?” you asked. 

“Oh, definitely,” he nodded. “It’s not over until we’ve checked out of the hotel.” 

“And that is the best present you could have given me, you big snoring grandma doctor,” you hugged him again and he shook his head with a chuckle. “Now come on, let’s stop wasting time and eat this cake, according to the receptionist it's from the best bakery in Boston.” 

You grabbed two forks from the table and handed one to James while he took the cake and brought it over to the bed, holding the container in one hand while you both went for it and took large bites of the rich dessert. 

“This more than makes up for all the pranks, I’m gonna forgive you right now for all the stuff you have up your sleeve before you even do it.” 

“Sorry, what did you say?” you asked, your mouth full of cake, completely distracted by the dessert. 

“Nothing,” James chuckled and watched as you grabbed another big forkful and offered it to him. 

He tried to fit it all in his mouth, but you had overestimated his jaw capacity and he was only able to get so much in before the rest fell back into the container. 

You pressed your lips together trying to bite back a laugh at the sight of James’ overstuffed cheeks and it seemed like he was trying to do the same, only worse because he ended up spitting some cake crumbs on you. 

“Jesus, James,” you groaned with a laugh, wiping the crumbs off your face. “That was gross.” 

He retorted with a garbled response you couldn’t understand because of the food in his mouth and your confused features prompted him to swallow before speaking again. 

“I’m sorry, but you just shoved half a cake into my mouth,” he chuckled. 

“What happened to gratitude, I was feeding you, it’s a sign of love,” you exaggerated and so he copied your actions, getting a large piece on his fork and holding it up for you to eat, which you did much more masterfully than he did. 

“There,” he said. “Is that enough love for you?” 

“Plenty,” you nodded your head and watched as he placed the container down on the bed with his fork inside before reaching out for your face wiping some icing from beside your lips with his thumb. “Thanks,” you smiled, hoping he couldn’t feel your cheeks heat up slightly by his actions. 

By the time the cake was half finished, you both couldn’t eat another bite and decided to save some for your last evening in the hotel. 

After packing things up in the mini fridge, you began your routine for bed, watching as James stood in front of the mirror and carefully laid a strip across his nose before taking off his contacts and putting on his glasses instead. 

“What are you looking at?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged. “You just look cute like that.” 

“Cute?” he raised a brow and looked over at you and you nodded. 

“Like a little kicked puppy.”

“That’s cute?” he now became concerned with your comparison. “Kicked puppies are not cute, that's just sad.”

“Now you definitely look like one,” you pointed to his distressed face and he pressed his lips into a line, unimpressed. 

“Just be quiet and put your mouthguard in.”

“That doesn’t shut me up, James, just gives me a lisp.”

“Yeah, and it makes you look like a dork,” he retorted. 

“That’s rich coming from the guy with glasses and a nose strip.” 

He chose to ignore your comment, knowing the banter would go on forever if he didn’t, and instead focused on brushing his teeth and then climbing into bed with a crossword puzzle. 

A short while after, you followed, climbing in on your side and turning so you could face James, observing him with his newspaper. 

A part of you wanted to make a comment about his grandmotherly behaviour, but you settled on watching him for a few moments before pulling your eye mask over your face and going to sleep. 

James turned his head towards you as soon as he didn’t feel your gaze on him any more. He smiled to himself, content with the scene in front of him.

—

“When did you even have time to do this?!” 

You tried to bite back a laugh while putting on a touch of concealer under your eyes while looking into a small portable mirror you had brought with you. 

James’ annoyed voice from the bathroom was only amplified when he walked out and saw your facade slowly start to crumble at the sight of him with baby powder blown all over his face and hair. 

“I just took a shower.” 

“Are you sure, cause you’ve got a little something…” you motioned to his face and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before letting out a cough from inhaling some of the powder. 

“You’re getting me breakfast,” he said simply, returning to the washroom to take a second shower. 

You burst out laughing once he had fully re-entered the washroom, taking a minute before continuing to get ready and then go downstairs and get some breakfast for you both. 

Meanwhile, upstairs James was planning his comeback, figuring it would be good to go out with a bang. 

You were totally unsuspecting, sitting in the first session, twiddling your thumbs while James took notes from the speaker. 

You wished the speaker would talk about something more interesting so it would be easier to fight off the sleep that was coming, but before that could happen a man with a package went up to the organizer and whispered something in his ear. They paused the speech and the man made an announcement asking if you were in the room. 

Confused, you raised your hand while he informed you that he had a package for you. 

Unfortunately, by the time you realized what was happening, it was too late and the strip club music began to play while the man undressed in front of you. 

You turned over to look at James, mortified, but he simply pulled out a digital camera and snapped a picture of what was happening while you gathered your senses and stood up, pushing the mostly unclothed man in front of you away and informing him he needed to leave. 

James had his lips pressed together to hide a smile and you gingerly apologized to everyone for the mistake before sitting back down, wishing the ground would swallow you up whole. 

“I am never going to live that down,” you whispered harshly to James. 

“Thought we needed to end the conference with a bang,” he shrugged. “Don’t worry I told Cuddy to take you out of the conference rotation for a while so people forget about it by the next time we’re at one of these things.” 

“Oh, you’re such a saint,” you said sarcastically. 

You were thankful that since it was the last day the conference was scheduled to end a little earlier so you could go out, get a nice dinner and pretend to forget about that fact that James had called a stripper for you in the middle of a panel.

As an apology, James offered to pay for dinner and you didn’t hesitate to accept the offer, because as much as you both took a shine to pranking each other and making each other miserable, there was always something to sweeten the deal at the end. 

“God, all that pranking was exhausting,” you sighed while making the walk back to the hotel, arm in arm with James. 

“Maybe we should watch a movie or something to relax?” he suggested. “There must be something good on pay-per-view.” 

“I could get behind that,” you nodded. “Get ready, watch a movie, and then an early night?” 

“Yeah to go along with waking up early in the morning to drive back to Jersey.” 

You chuckled a little and removed your arm from being linked with his, instead grabbing his hand out of his pocket and dragging him toward the hotel, not wanting to waste any time getting into more comfortable clothes. 

You unlocked the door to the hotel room, letting out a surprised squeal when you felt James hands on your lower back tickling you and pushing you into the room. 

You grabbed your pyjamas and quickly ran off to the washroom before James could and got changed, removing your makeup and putting your hair in your bonnet. 

When you came out, James was already changed and ready, flipping through the movie options to see what was available. 

“Hey, why does it say I rented six hours worth of porn?” he looked over at you and you pressed your lips together shrugging innocently. “You know that gets charged to the hospital, Cuddy is gonna see this.” 

“I think I did what I had to do to get back at you for what you did this afternoon. You really thought I was gonna let you have the last laugh?” you asked, sitting on your side of the bed. “And the room was originally under your name so she won’t think it’s me so don’t try and flip this around on me.” 

“Just for that I get to pick the movie and we’re watching your least favourite,” he flipped through the options and clicked on a movie he knew you hated, and before your could protest and grab your earplugs and eye mask he confiscated them saying you could get them back when the movie was over. You’d have to suffer through it. 

Neither of you enjoyed the movie that evening, but you loved the back and forth nevertheless, no moment was safe, there was always a chance one of you would disturb the other’s peace. 

After the movie was over, James went straight to bed while you stayed up just a little bit later, neatly packing some of your things away and as you watched James curled under the blankets you felt your hand grab a pen and paper from the desk and beginning to write a note, folding it nicely and putting it in James’ bag for him to find later, finally ready to spend one last night in this godforsaken hotel before heading back home to New Jersey.

—

“Have you seen my wallet, I can’t find it anywhere?” James asked, patting down his pockets to make sure he hadn’t put it there and forgotten. 

“Did you check your work bag?” you asked, gathering your things together. 

He shook his head and stuck his arm in his bag, digging around for his wallet until he felt something a little unfamiliar, looking down and noticing a paper he hadn’t seen before. 

Curiously, he pulled it out and unfolded it, reading its contents quietly out loud. 

“Dear James, I’m not normally shy, but spending time with you these past few days has shown me something that I think I could get used to seeing. You probably haven’t heard this a lot, but I think you’re as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. The way you carry yourself, your eloquence, your demeanor, are all things that have inspired me to write to you. I’m not very good at expressing myself in words so I hope this short poem will do the trick. Roses are red, violets are blue, I think I’ve fallen in love with you. Love, your secret admirer.”

James looked at the paper confused then up at you with a disappointed look in his eyes. 

“Seriously? Another one, I thought you got me last night?” he asked. “This is a little much, a secret admirer, like who would even…” his voice trailed off as he watched you look at him. He had to admit the look you were giving him was similar to what you’d look like when you’d bested him in a prank, but there was a hint of something else past your eyes that he hadn’t quite noticed until now. “Wait…this is from you. Like really from you.” 

You nodded your head slowly, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“You mean it?” 

You nodded your head again. 

“Seriously?” 

Your lips were pressed in a thin line when you nodded your head for a third time. 

Instead of addressing you, James pulled out his phone and dialled a number. You were about to turn around and pretend the whole interaction hadn’t happened when you felt your phone buzz in your purse. 

Grabbing it, you saw James’ number flash on the screen so you answered it, albeit confused. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, um I saw your ad in the paper,” he started. “It said you could make my dreams come true, but I was wondering if maybe I could make yours come true too?” 

Your hand flew to cover your mouth as you began to laugh and James dropped his work bag on the ground, tossing his phone on the bed and coming over to you pulling you in by the waist and pressing a firm kiss to your lips, only to be broken up by giggles and laughter on both your parts. 

You tossed your phone on the bed next to James’ and instead held his face in your hands, pressing repeated kisses to his lips, loving the way you could feel them pull into a smile against your own. 

“Does this mean I get to see you again with all your sleep gear?” he asked between kisses, making you laugh again. 

“Only if you get a C-PAP machine.” 

“Deal,” he chuckled. “Hey, I’ve got a poem for you.” 

“What is it?” you asked, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I feel pretty lucky that you fell in love with me too.” 

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @kiddbegins @il0vebeingdelulu @illicit4ff4irs @lynnsthoughts @miarabanana @iwmflbb @/shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey @sarcasm-and-stiles @sun-flower-mad @x-uno @han11dh

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

should I write a wilson x reader fanfic ??

BRING ME THAT OLD MAN NEOWWW

Twink Robert Sean Leonard this, young Robert Sean Leonard that

Can we all just stop and appreciate older, mature Robert Sean Leonard with a beard. Fuck.

House md is such a trip because House and Wilson are standing cock to cock, tip to tip, packer to packer, emotionally and physically. House's employees have a polyamorous codependent relationship while also being at each other's throats constantly. Foreman's so represssed they think he's gay, Chase is so sexually active that he can't possibly be straight, Taub and Kutner scissored, Cameron's probably gay but she has a job to do so she isn't going to think about it too hard, Thirteen is bisexual and went to jail once. Everyone has used drugs recreationally at least once. They break into everyone's home then insult the state of their home and then diagnose the patient based on a "That's so Raven" vision that House has. They shouldn't have been doctors, they would all thrive better as Waffle house employees that leap over the counter to fight customers.

The universal truth of House MD is that turtlenecks make you gayer. House acts gayer with one, Thirteen acts gayer with one, Cameron acts gayer with one...it's the universal truth.