AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I Was AT WORK!!! And This Lady KNOCKED ON THE DOOR!!! But I DIDN'T HEAR HER!!! Because

Every five minutes the automatic light at my work turns off on me like

Sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to be doing aerobics in here :/

Damn, I wish MY dick was an eagle's head. That sounds neato.

The Fall of the Rebel Angels (detail). Frans Floris de Vriedt ~ 1554 Koninklijk Museum voor Schone Kunsten • via Bibliothèque Infernale on FB

I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain

Sibling has said terrible things to me involving Brynjolf. Please kill on sight.

It's over for you hoes

Once I get my medication it's over for you hoes

But My Brother In Christ...

Have you considered that maybe...

I also want to see the Horsies?

people wanting tumblr clout is so funny to me. like girl you're fighting for a window seat in the clown car

Internet friends will say "Gimmie a sec" and then forget to come back.

I think the best part about having internet friends is when the person you're talking to goes suddenly quiet then reappears in the chat with either the single greatest or single most cursed image youve ever seen that they made themselves in 5 to 10 minutes

Where is

Where is she going?

there she goes

I did not remember reblogging this. But apparently I did at some point.

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

You're just mad you're not a cool silver dragon.

I am a rat and this website is the deep frier at a whataburger in texas