OMG. Color Me Excited.

“You cannot go back there, Margo.”

Margo shifted on her feet. The life raft she had built to survive eight long years in the Soviet Union was quickly revealing itself to be not quite seaworthy.

Each revelation surged a wave that threatened to overwhelm her raft–the disdain of the people at NASA, the reveal of Irina’s mechanizations throughout both their lives, Sergei’s presence in Houston, and damn him, the care he offered her in his steadfast gaze.

This raft she built of necessity was based only on the work–her love of space and engineering. Now in Houston with Sergei standing in front of her it was laughable to think she could survive based only upon it. But then, back in the Soviet Union, that’s all she had. For eight years she subsisted on dreams of space alone, and finally, things began to change and she got to realize her dream only for it to all crash– Margo began to waver on her feet as she made new calculations about her life.

“Margo,” Sergei exhaled as he started forward, his hands outstretched to grasp her arms and steady her. Disheartened, she let him comfort her. She felt distinct and utterly unsalvageable ruptures form in her raft.

Margo wanted to break eye contact with him, to look anywhere else but she was as starved for him as she was for the rest of it. She tried to steady her breathing and recenter herself to work her newest and thorniest of problems.

She was as yet torn between wanting to cry, puke or laugh at what she had misunderstood yet again. Breaking through her racing thoughts were Sergei’s warm hands rubbing reassuringly on her forearms. She sighed and he released some breath of his own. She nodded and his hands drifted down to hold her hands. His eyes darkened from concern to a deeper longing.

“Please, Margo, come sit with me.” Sergei gestured with a jut of his head toward his car.

She nodded quickly and briefly tightened her own hold on him as he ushered her to the passenger seat. When he shut the car door to round the car and slide into the driver’s seat, Margo let her head drop into her hands.

“What now, Sergei?” Margo asked despondently.

“Now we find our way out,” Sergei responded firmly.

He looked her over closely; observed her gray hair, her wrist bandage, and her firmly buttoned-up presentation. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and never let her go again. God, he had missed her. He had mourned her and now here she was in his car inches away, as beautiful as ever.

Margo released another sigh and straightened, offering an exhausted default,“Sure, let’s work the problem.”

She turned slightly towards him to take a closer look at the man she had desperately tried to save. The last eight years had agreed with him and he looked as handsome as ever. Her scrutiny did not go unnoticed and he smiled warmly at her. Margo extended a hand to brush his cheek and touch his smile.

"I missed that smile,” she whispered as he turned in her grasp and kissed her palm.

Her heart thudded in her chest as he brought her hand down to intertwine with his over the console between them.

“And I missed you. Margo…” Sergei broke off, and what further he wanted to say died in his throat as they simply stared at each other.

Margo broke eye contact and pulled her hands away, trying to reign in her emotions and run-away thoughts. Without her raft, she was in danger of saying and doing things she knew she couldn't afford to embrace.

“I'm here to help capture an asteroid and usher in a new age for life on Earth,” she said with growing determination. “We will succeed. Nothing can jeopardize that.”

Sergei turned in his seat to face her straight on. Nonplussed, he replied, “And when you have achieved this, what do you think will happen then?”

Margo opened her mouth to argue that Irina had promised her the outer solar system–hell, the deeper cosmos–but nothing came out.

“Your usefulness is only ever an illusion, Margo, as brilliant as you are,” Sergei continued more gently. “A trick, and a brutal one.”

Margo closed her eyes, squeezing them shut lest a tear escape. “Take me back to the hotel, please,” she asked softly.

Sergei broached contact once more, reaching forward to caress and gently turn her face to his. Margo relented and opened her eyes to be met with a face full of concern for her.

“We can navigate this, Margo, it will be treacherous but we will find a way. For both of us.” Sergei squeezed her hand before turning on his car.

Soft jazz filled the car as he pulled out of Franks and headed towards her hotel. Sensing how overwhelmed she was, he kept silent as he drove across Houston. It wasn't to be a long trip, so he took her hand with his and held it until he parked a discrete distance away from her hotel.

Silence returned to the car when he shut it off. The air was heavy, like the rains were shortly returning. A handy cover for her to sneak into the hotel, but a heavier portent for the future.

Margo couldn't as yet see any way forward other than work the asteroid. Her track record on manoeuvring escapes was dreadful and left only wreckage behind.

“I will be here for you, Margo, and I have a plan to get us out,” Sergei began, interrupting her thoughts.

Margo cut him off with a sharp look and a quick exhale.

“Thank you, Sergei, for… coming to see me. It is good to see you,” the words painfully exited her chest, “we can work together on the asteroid; I know I will need your help, but…” Margo wasn't quite sure how to tell him that there was no possible future for them, that his optimism and hope were a brutal illusion of their own.

Sergei interrupted her ramble and cradled her head with both hands. Pulling her gently towards him, he rested his head against hers. “You appeared. Out of nowhere. A dream so impossible. Let me-let us-dream the impossible. My grief for you left me with an empty heart, and yet it disappears with the reality of you. I am no longer numb or in wonder at my desolation. I have outlasted the storm and so have you.”

Margo exhaled slowly and closed the last distance between them. Pressing her lips to his, she kissed him softly. Breaking the kiss she rested her head gently against his.

“They called me Margaret Reynolds,” she whispered with a strained mirth.

“Sergei Bezuko,” he whispered back encouragingly.

At that shared absurdity the car was briefly filled with giggles. Sobriety returned along with the rain as it splattered the car. They both moved to embrace the other tightly.

“We can do both, Margo,” Sergei tried to reassure her.

“We will talk more about that,” Margo said, forestalling further talk of the future beyond the asteroid capture, “But, I need to get back. I'll message you through Aleida.”

Margo loosened her hold on Sergei, and he resisted the end of their embrace only briefly. He held her hands as he gazed at her, trying to memorize her in this moment.

“I will be here for you,” he said and pressed a kiss to her hands.

Margo nodded and with one last squeeze of his hands, she opened her car door and disappeared into the rain.

--

Notes! Mwhaha. I just want them to touch more. 😉 Also, I bastardized Pushkin there at the end there.

i get so happy when people that are new to fanfic writing, or just writing in general, post their work on ao3. despite their doubts, despite their fear of something so personal and vulnerable being perceived, they still press that button, and i turn into the equivalent to a proud mom cheering on the sidelines. like yes! you did that! your work is worth seeing! you deserve to share your passion for and be part of a community! i’m so proud of you!

Oh, my heart!

make me choose └  @okaynextcrisis asked Searider Falcon or New Caprican leaf

Margo being cute - S1

WIP Wednesday

I can't believe I've been watching For All Mankind and into space stuff generally for this long and have only just discovered that the real life Thomas Paine designed a flag for Mars. I had to work it into a fic especially since him telling Ellen about his love of the stars is one of my favourite moments in s2.

‘What was that you were working on?’ 

‘Oh that’s, it’s nothing really, a flight of fancy,’ Tom tried to pass it off casually, but secretly he was a little pleased when Ellen said, ‘Go on.’ 

‘It’s a flag for Mars, a proper flag. A true symbol for exploration, something for the whole world to rally around.’ 

Ellen was taken aback a little; she had always assumed he had been the one who demanded NASA use the Stars and Stripes back in ’69.

Tom retrieved the legal pad from where he had haphazardly hidden it. Ellen furrowed her eyebrows in an attempt to decipher the scribblings but Tom handily narrated.

‘If you notice, it goes diagonally upwards to represent progress, from the sliver of Earth, where we’re came to where we’re going. Mars is in the middle but the arrow to the star in the far corner is to show that it’s part of the journey not the final destination. I’m not much of an artist…’

‘I like it, it’s a beautiful vision. So how is the Mars program coming along?’

‘I’ve got time to daydream up flag ideas, I’ll let you figure it out.’

FOR ALL MANKIND | 3.03 ALL IN

Fargo Season 5

I haven't kept up with the series as a whole, but I saw Mary McDonnell's season and a few at the beginning. Really enjoyed it all.

But boy howdy, I keep picturing her as Lorraine Lyon and she would have killed it.

No disrespect to JJL. I just would have found Mary's a tough ass bitch more enjoyable to watch.

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. You first.

#when bae looks spiffy

For All Mankind | Sergei + looking at Margo

Piotr Adamczyk as Sergei Orestovich Nikulov Wrenn Schmidt as Margo Madison