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Im Dying - Blog Posts
You know, I struggle with my first and only language English, and it especially shows when I am in a panic.
One time my friends mom who mainly speaks Spanish was driving us to our musical practice. When we got out of her car she was driving away when I panicked and tried to scream
"Stop your mom! My phone is in her car! "
But what came out was
"STOP YOUR MOM! MY CAR IS IN YOUR PHONE! "
And if that wasn't embarrassing enough, right afterward I realized that was holding my phone in the hand I was using to point at the car.
Not only did my friends die of laughter, they do what good friends do, never drop it.
I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell
I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you.
So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.”
So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened.
So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.
Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.
Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?”
parts one two three four
———
Lance wants to bolt the second they step out of the castle, but he knows better than that. So he waits, watching them carefully from the windshield (he’s got no better word for it, okay) of the bridge until they’re itty bitty specks. Then he throws on his backpack, grabs his scanner, waves to his pets, and runs in the direction the beast was last seen.
He keeps up a pretty quick pace for a while, not bothering to muffle his footsteps — he doesn’t want to startle the poor thing — and keeps his ears peeled for the sounds of a large animal making its merry way through the woods.
By ‘large’, he means ‘unfathomably gigantic’, because everything on this planet seems to be. Every tree is as wide as four Hunks, and taller than the castle. The various small woodland critters he’s seen running around have been at least the size of Pidge. Idly he wonders how the hell the evolution on this planet even worked, because all the flora and fauna seems to be gigantic, but the people here aren’t much bigger than humans.
He eventually starts to hear the sound of running water, and wastes no time following it. If he’s correct — and he truly thinks he is, as does Coran — this beast will be sitting carefully by the river’s bank, waiting for fish to swim close to it.
See, Lance is almost sure this beast is the planet’s equivalent to a grizzly bear.
And he’s positive it’s injured.
It’s the only thing that makes sense! He did some light research last night, and discovered that the planet is right in the midst of their springtime. He also discovered that, over the winter months, the planet’s city limits had expanded pretty dramatically, cutting into a large chunk of the forest. Lance believes the new city limits bled into the bear’s hunting grounds, and when the bear woke from hibernation in the spring and went looking for food, it ran into the new neighbourhoods. Startled, of course, it got defensive, only further terrorizing the people. Lance thinks that the bear was dazed enough to be hurt by the city’s armies, and now the bear is in pain and full of anger towards the new animals in its territory.
Of course it’s attacking.
Now, if only the team stopped a goddamn second to listen, and I wouldn’t have this problem, Lance thinks to himself, but pushes the thought away just as quickly, scowling to himself.
He forces himself to pause the reflection and save it for later, because it’s not the right time. He’s on a mission. He doesn’t have time to feel sorry for himself, let alone have time to be mad at the team.
It’s just as well that Lance pulled himself out of his thoughts, because straight ahead, looking at him warily, is the bear.
And oh, what a beast it is.
The dignitary — not to give him any goddamn credit, the bastard — was barely exaggerating. The bear is huge. It’s definitely not bigger than a castle, sure, but it’s big enough that Lance knows to keep a respectful distance, and right now the bear is sitting. He can’t imagine how scary it would be on a rampage.
For the first time, a tiny tendril of guilt crawls up his spine. The dignitary might be a pompous dick, but Lance is starting to realise that’s coming from a place of genuine fear, for themself and for the people they represented.
(Lance is still not going to kill the bear, obviously. It’s not the bear’s fault that it’s scary. But Lance is willing to admit that he did not handle the situation with the dignitary like an adult, and especially not like a paladin, and probably owes them a bit of an apology.)
“Hey, there,” Lance says softly, slowly swinging off his backpack and setting it down in front of him.
The bear growls in warning.
“I know, I know, you like your space. I’ll stay over here for now.”
Without looking away, Lance crouches down, blindly searching around the bag until his hand wraps around the two objects he’s looking for. He slowly takes them out and carefully sets one of them — a back of Altean-style dehydrated wild berries — on the ground in front of the bag. With his other hand, he pours a steady stream of water on the pouch, and he and the bear both watch as the pile of berries gradually grows in size until it’s the size of Lance himself.
Lance sits next to them, criss-cross-applesauce, with his backpack on his lap.
“These are for you,” he says, tone even. “I figured it might be pretty hard for you to forage or hunt right now. You must be hungry.”
Logically, it should be impossible for the bear to understand him. But it must like his tone, because slowly — ever so slowly — it uncurls, keeping a careful eye on Lance as it limps over to him and the berries next to him.
Its legs are the size of Earthen tree trunks. Its head alone is bigger than Lance. Its teeth —visible now that its mouth is open, tongue hanging out, salivating in anticipation of the wonderfully juicy berries — are sharper than any razor.
Lance should be afraid.
He’s not.
“Oh, you’re a beautiful thing,” he coos as the bear leans forward and takes a tentative bite from the pile.
The bear side-eyes him — a look that so clearly says ‘bitch, please’ that Lance can’t help his laugh.
“And you take no shit, huh?”
The bear grunts, apparently deciding the berries are safe, and then digs the hell in. It devours the pile so quickly that it’s there in one second and gone in the next.
Once the pile is finished, the bear turns to look at Lance expectantly.
Lance holds his hands up. “I got nothing!”
The bear huffs — no, really — and ambles closer to Lance. It lowers its great head down, and with a nose bigger than Lance’s head, starts sniffing Lance’s backpack for more.
Lance laughs again. “There’s nothing in there, you silly creature. No food, anyway.”
The bear finally decides he’s telling the truth — or, more likely, doesn’t smell any more food — and flops to the ground, looking to Lance in what he can only describe as petulance.
“I have no more food,” Lance says again. He reaches out hesitantly, slowly, and carefully rests his hand in between the bear's cute little ears when it makes no move to stop him. “But I might have more help for you, though.”
The bear rumbles. Lance takes this as an indication to continue.
“I noticed you were limping. Your front right leg. You’ve got some matted blood on there, too. If you’ll let me, I can clean that wound, stitch it right up, and you’ll be as good as new. That sound okay?”
The bear doesn’t make any more noise, but it does flop over on its side, leaving its right side up for access.
Lance takes a deep breath.
“Okay, big guy. Let me fix you up.”
He gathers up his bag and walks over to the wounded leg in question. He inspects it, but can’t really see the wound under all the blood.
“I’m going to clean it first, okay? I’ll get some river water first. That’ll be better than antiseptic.”
The bear grunts.
Lance grabs a clean cloth out of his bag — really, it’s a queen-sized sheet, but in comparison to the bear looks as small as the tiniest of rags — and soaks it in the frigid river, ringing it out as best as he can with his tiny human hands.
He walks back over to the bear and begins gently wiping away the nasty, coagulated blood from matted fur. It takes a while, but he’s eventually able to see the wound.
He does not like what he sees.
The wound starts cleanly, like it was a cut, but then looks torn, like the flesh was ripped. Lance isn’t sure what weapon may have caused it — that’s more of Keith’s thing — but knows it was certainly no natural cause.
“I’m going to need to apply quite a bit of antiseptic,” he tells the bear, even though the bear most certainly does not know what that is. “It’s going to hurt, but I need to do it, because it already looks a little bit infected.”
He opens his massive tub of antiseptic and holds it out for the bear to sniff. Its giant nose wrinkles, and then it looks pained, but it carefully lays its head back down on the ground and tenses its muscles.
Lance takes that as permission.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” Lance babbles as he pours the horrible chemical over the wound and the bear roars in agony. “I know, I know. I know. It’s okay. Let it out. It’s done, now, once the sting fades.”
The sting must fade eventually, because the bear quiets, although it breathes heavily and remains tense.
“It’s okay,” Lance whispers, petting the first patch of uninjured fur he can reach. “It’s alright. The worst part is over, okay? That hurt so bad that you’ll barely even feel the stitches, okay? Just the smallest pinch.”
The bear whines, high and long, and Lance bites back tears.
This could all be avoided if people just used some compassion, for fuck’s sake.
He closes his eyes and swallows roughly. That’s not fair. It’s unlikely that anyone meant for this to happen, and it’s unfair for Lance to blame people. Sometimes life just sucks.
But it’s his job as a paladin to make it suck marginally less, and by God, he is going to do his job.
“Ready for the stitches, big guy? It’s the second-to-last step.”
Lance reaches into his back again and digs out the absolutely giant suture needle, so big it’s basically a weapon, and the beast-sized sutures. He gets to work carefully stitching up the wound, applying every ounce of Abuela’s sewing lessons into his furrowed brow and steady hands.
It takes a while, but eventually the wound is closed up neatly.
“Almost done,” Lance assures the bear. It makes an almost purring noise in response, which makes Lance beam in delight.
He takes two last things from his pack — some Altean antibiotic numbing ointment, and a mummy’s amount of bandages.
“This’ll be cold,” he warns, before spreading a generous amount of the ointment onto the wound. The bear audibly sighs in relief, slumping further into the ground as its muscles finally un-tense.
Lastly, Lance carefully wraps the wound in the bandages until it’s completely covered, then stands back, hands on his hips, to access his patch job.
“I think you look okay!” he says with a grin. “Try standing.”
The bear gets up using its three unharmed legs, then gingerly applies weight to the injured one once it’s balanced.
It blinks.
It applies more weight.
Suddenly it roars, in delight this time, and ducks its head to nudge Lance gently in thanks. Lance laughs, petting the creature everywhere he can reach.
“You’re welcome!” The bear makes that almost-purr noise again, and Lance sighs. “Now all we gotta do is convince this whole damn planet that you’re a big, giant softie.”
The bear pulls its head away, making Lance pout, and stares at him for a moment.
“What? You have any bright ideas? I, unfortunately, did not plan this far. I kinda thought something would come to me on the way.”
The bear grunts. Then it opens its great jaw, reaching for Lance, but it doesn’t eat him — it carefully hooks Lance’s hoodie in its teeth, lifts him up, and tosses him gently on its back.
Lance blinks.
“Well this is a — development.”
The bear grunts again, pawing at the ground. It starts off down the river, but not in the direction where Lance assumed its cave to be.
It’s headed to the city.
“What’re you — oh,” Lance cries, and is a little embarrassed to be outfoxed by a bear.
“That’s a great idea! If the people see you treating me gently, then won’t be so scared, and I’ll be able to explain. You’re so smart!”
If Lance didn’t know better, he’d think the bear seemed smug.
But he does know better, so he gets comfortable, organizes his pack, and starts planning what he’s going to say to make this whole crisis blow over.
I forgot to post these😭😭😭
my ao3 isn't working😭😭😭 it's not letting me log in smh how am I supposed to read my arguably absurd amount of bedtime fics now huh??? what do you expect me to do? sleep?? pfft absolutely not
I just LOST the MOST scrumptious HANNIGRAM FANFIC because I accidentally EXITED OUT OF THE APP I EVEN FORGOT THE NAME im dead ALL I CAN REMEMBER WAS WILL HAD AN ADOPTED SON WITH THE NAME THAT MEANT LONE WOLF IN FRENCH I THINK???
These two are going to be together again in a movie!! DC please don't disappoint me and give me again my favorite ship of all time.
Omg holy shit omg omg omg omg holy shit
CHAT BIG BIG BIG NEWS
I just got hit by the most universe starting cramps. I'm on the floor, writing my will, vomit pooling on the floor beside me. This is it. This is the end. Tell my cat I love her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
One Piece Fighting Game AU
this au is inpired by the song Heart Attack by Chuu
hope you enjoy the designs i created most of them in a 2 hr long manic episode of just nonstop designing.
there is more to come with this au im super excited to show you guys :)
some lore ive cooked up for it and design explainations:
preface: sorry this is so much writing and im not going to grammar check it cuz aint no body got time for that.
The world of this au is like pokemon with different gyms you can fight through and beat, there's a big league of pro fighters, and there are schools for teaching you to be a better fighter.
The school our main cast goes to is called the Doki-Doki Battle Academy and it's principle is currently Crocodile. It's previous principle was Nefertari Cobra, but maybe something nefarious happened to give crocodile the spot who knowwsssss~
Doki-Doki Battle Academy (DDBA) hosts many tournaments in their school stadium throughout the school year. The tournies act as tests for the students who are taking that field of study. There are other fields the school offers though, such as weapon crafting, medical staffing, and managing. Though, if the students in those fields with so learn fighting on the side that is also accepted.
In the Pro Fighting world, there are typically pro-league teams such as the Red Hairs and The Beasts. These teams have different levels to it such as Little Leagues (for younger fighters), Minor leagues (for adults on a regional level), and Major leagues (for profighting at a national level). You can also go solo though, much like Mihawk does.
The power system in this AU is pretty simple, different color of auras do different things, but the complexities happen when you start using the different auras in tandem. I might explain it more in depth in a different post, but i dont really know what to explain about it. mostly because i dont know everything about it, myself, yet lol
-----design talk now yippeeee-----
Luffy: i tried to make him very simple protagonist vibes, play into the genre a bit. i incorporated hearts into his design in his hat, his shirt, his arm bands, and his pants poofies. His hat was given him as a sign of love, his shirt is from his school and he loves his school, his arm bands are on his arms and he uses his arms to show his love by fighting or by hugging, and his pants arent scuffed or anything so the heart puffs on his knees protects them from getting damaged (his love protects him)
Sabo: Tried to give him a more mysterious vibe with that peacoat and hat that shadows his face. I incorporated hearts into his design in his eyepatch, his vest buttons, and his boots. His heart eyepatch covers up that nasty scar, so he's distracting himself from his past pain by focusing on his love, the buttons on his vest/hearts on his boots are more or less hidden most of the time so he tends to hide his love but when he lets his guard down (when the boot is rolled down) you can see his love plainly.
Ace: Now, i dont know if Ace will die in this au or not, but in canon, he expresses his love through his torso area, i.e. tattoo on his arm and back and also that Certain Moment, so thats where i put a big ol' heart on him. His pants are also ripped in a shape of a heart but its kinda hard to see, but its meant to symbolize how the damage he takes is his love.
Nami: All the orange in her design is in heart shapes or the shapes of tangerines, thats where her love is. I also made nami's staff a curtain rod. She uses the rod to produce wind when she summons water and then manipulates it to heat it up or cool it down. i tried to add little details like that and the bandages on her torso to show that although she's outwardly clean, she's still scrappy. Nami is in the managerial pathway at the DDBA.
Zoro: I didnt make him quite as bright or vibrant as the others, i kinda just tried to make him Just A Guy. Except for his Swords. His Swords are special, so theyre bright and saturated. I roughed him up, a bit, not too much. i made his varsity jacket be ripped open so it looks like the heart on the front was broken because zoro is very broken hearted.
Sanji: I made him look like a wannabe princely character. Very cheesy, gaudy charm. I made the hearts of his design (on his boots) look like they're sewn up. So at some point his heart was broken, but he's healing them by stitching them up with love.
Robin: The hearts in her design are hard to make out because she is hiding her love. The pink of her lacey undershirt is where the heart is and its being protected by a dark over layer. The many belts in her design, however, are meant to look like shatters in that protective layer. This is meant to represent how even though she's strongly protecting herself, that strength is still weak without any outside help. Robin uses her multiplication abilities to simply multiply the shape of her arms like how she does in canon.
Chopper: His hearts are on his viles and his hat, love was given to him when he was given that hat, and he shows his love by making his healing potions. On another note though, chopper is a Transtormationalist, which is basically the zoan fruits of this world. His model is the Reindeer and his body has naturally started morphing into that form, too. Chopper is in the medical program at the DDBA
Usopp: Usopp's hearts on his pants patches signifies the new loves he’s accepted into his once lonely life. He fights with his sling shot and his ammo is seeds he's found savaging through forests or just growing himself. the white and grey auras he commands lessen the air resistance of his projectiles and makes them go a lot faster, and once they hit their target, he makes the plant grow super quickly, like how it does in canon post-ts.
Franky: Franky's hearts are everywhere and they're bright. he doesn't hide his love and he's built love for himself to wear on his person. Franky is one of the weapon masters at the school and he's a SUUUUPER cool teacher.
Brook: the hearts in his design are his Afro and his bag. I think i heart somewhere that brook has kept his Afro so that Laboon can recognize him when he sees him again and that is just so loving to me so his Afro is in the shape of a heart. His bag is also in the shape of a heart, but the bag is being weighed down by whatever he's carrying inside of it, signifying the burden of the love he carries.
Jinbei: Jinbei is a Transtormationalist, Model: Whale Shark. the heart in his design is the tattoo on his chest for his old team. He's the driver of Luffy's bus and if you do enough dialogue options with him instead of skipping the bus cut-scenes, you get the option to battle Jinbei. If you do, he takes off his jacket revealing the pro-league he used to be in and then he decimates you. it is impossible to win the battle.
Koala: the colors i used for her are peachy colors, signifying what a peach she is :)))) her goggles and the buttons on her suspenders are the hearts on her design, signifying how her love is looking out for others and how love keeps herself up.
Vivi: Her hair is a big ol heart but its upsidedow, signifying how the love she feels often makes her look at things incorrectly. Also the rips in her tights are hearts, much like ace's are. the damage she takes is how she shows her love.
Crocodile: his hook is a heart, he loves fighting. i like the idea that when a student needs a text book and and asks him for one, he gives it to them by spearing a hole through one he has in his coat and handing it to the student who has to just live with a textbook with a big-ass hole through it.
Perona: the hearts in her design are on her sleeves and on her hat. The joke about the sleeves is that she wears her heart on her sleeves. but the hat, its meant to look like more or less a cage for the heart, her love is what traps her.
Mihawk: his hearts are on his weapons, he fucking loves fighting.
Shanks: The hearts in his design are only on his torso area, the locket around his neck and the deep unbuttoned shirt makes it look like there's a heart in the negative space, and the heart patch on his jacket, the loss of his arm and the lack of something there is symbolic for the love he has given.
imma be real, i didnt put that much thought in the heart positionings for yamato buggy or law. I kinda was swept up in Hot Man, Pathetic Man, and Hot Pathetic Man.
Uta: she's based off of Cupid, so she doesn't have any hearts really in her design but her whole persona is based off of a symbol of love and how it can turn malicious.
also in general, the shines on people's hair are meant to look like a heart-rate monitor's peaks and troughs. And the shading i did just by drawing all the shading then desaturating that area
WOWEE that's a lot of designing wtf was i on when i did all this.
if you got to the end, thank you so very much for reading! i hope you enjoyed my ramblings :)
again, there is more to come with this AU so Stay Tuned, Folks!!!!!!!!!!
@ sleepover rn
i am dying after winning 5 games of just dance🔱🔱🔱🤩🤩🤩👑
ass kicking insomnia + mothers constant snoring = fucking help
it’s nearly 3 in the morning and im sat on the floor of the bathroom in this shitty hotel room I have to share with my mum and my aunt
im going to fucking kms istf I can’t do this
Okay I’m not even exaggerating or joking but like this actually made me lose my breath this is so gorgeous.
day 22: candygore ft james potter !! (hp)
Its....So cold........I can see it...The red light at the end of the tunnel.........
MCR really just said "wouldn't it be funny to release a new 6 minute long single after 8 years without any warning" and did it, huh
So I bought some stuff at Tora-con and one of them was this Doflamingo figure that I thought looked super badass.
and then i opened it and cannot stop laughing
the fuCKING LEGS.
SOMEONE TAKE THIS TOY AWAY FROM ME.
I'm sorry but I thought of columbo when I saw your afton design
This genuinely threw me for a loop last night, like. Columbo??? Hello??? Is it the jacket, or general face-shape?
As a side note, someone on a fnaf discord I'm on said they look like Mark Hoffman from saw, which I thought was kinda funny.
Since the society is being a little too mean to me, I'm 'bout to pull an Akutagawa Ryuunosuke and make him my whole personality, y'all.
♡ Pee pee poo poo. ♡
argenti sketch dump i LOVE him so bad i literally don't know shit about him or the game but the love is real idccc🗣️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈💖💖💘
wh-what in the babygirl is this?!
this came up under gifs of doflamingo, too 🤣
Just some doodles I made during the school days
