Shoutout To The Guy Who Created A Parody Account Of Cinemasins Where Instead Of Pointing Out Every Single

Miles Teller as Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw Top Gun: Maverick (2022) dir. Joseph Kosinski

Something about Rooster admiring so much his parents relationship and aspiring to have a love so beautiful as theirs, sweet and romantic and truly a fairy tale that would warm his heart forever

And ending up with the asshole who can't be nice to save his own live, that chews on a toothpick 24/7 and makes his life a living hell for the fun of it while looking so smug NARCISSUS HIMSELF would be jealous

He wanted a love like his parents had, and he got it! Unfortunately he had 2 set of parents and the love he ended up having was similar to the WRONG ONE

A gothic horror story where a gentleman from a good family gets haunted by something monstrous, which follows him around and keeps killing people around him at utter random, in cruel and horrifying ways. Specifically within circumstances where the protagonist has no alibi, and everything indicates that he committed the murders.

But the real horror is not that he would find himself accused of the murders, but that the people around him naturally assume that he did do it, but genuinely do not care, because the victims are never people that the society around him considers "important". The scullery maid of his household is found brutalised beyond recognition in a room where even the ceiling has been splattered with blood, and a constable of the local police brushes it off as a case of household discipline gone wrong, being horrifyingly casual with the assumption that the protagonist severely beat a girl in his service to death, and will dismiss it as an accident. The street urchin that the protagonist was seen talking with - wanting to help this poor little orphan - is found decapitated, severed head in the protagonist's fireplace. This, too, is calmly swept under the rug.

After every horrifying murder, the protagonist tries to seek help, to present the crime to authorities in hopes of getting some semblance of help, or at least clearing his own name of this, but every time it's brushed off. "These things do happen", he is reassured, like it's perfectly normal that a mansion of that size has a secret garden of unmarked graves in one shady corner.

The real horror is the ever-encompassing implication that this is perfectly normal.

rian johnson has managed to evade all common ethical problems in his screenwriting and i want everyone to know that the knives out mysteries are a perfect representation of how to write about a certain community respectfully AND simultaneously not make a big deal of how good you are at being a diverse writer.

in knives out and glass onion, both main characters are women who have been wronged by the other main character(s)—in marta's case, she experiences xenophobia from the thrombey's constantly; in andi's, she came up with a billion dollar idea which was stolen by a white man. when she took him to court for it, her entire friend group sided with this man; this directly affects helen after andi's death.

andi and marta's stories specifically represent real experiences for women who are minorities in america, but the stories are told without being too ham-fisted or obvious about it. these aren't stories about racism, xenophobia, and misogyny, they're stories involving racism, xenophobia, and misogyny, which i feel is something you don't often see. they're not triyng to prove a point by telling these stories, they're just stories being told—it's a difference that's hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. it's got less of a looking-into-the-camera-for-emphasis vibe.

alongside this, benoit was never a white/male savior to neither helen nor marta (respectively). he helped helen when she came to him about andi and he stood behind marta when he saw the tox report, but he never took over the case and they were never treated like damsels in distress. in the end, helen and marta took control of their own revenge and benoit nudged everyone else to the side while they did it. benoit is not the hero of these stories, helen and marta are.

this is good fucking writing!!!! i need film bros to be positively insufferable about rian johnson NEOW

edit 12/26/22: i've been told that ana de armas is a white latina. genuinely i did not know, she always looked brown to me and i haven't seen her in anything other than knives out, that's truly my bad. i've updated the post now to change the language about marta, other than that everything remains!

Jack and Angela are Bi4Bi

Carmy + Luca

Ok, so I watched through Lucifer during quarantine, and here is what I don't understand: What the hell is up with Lucifer's accent? Literally every other divine being (that I can remember anyways) has an American accent—including Michael, who's identical to Lucifer in almost every other way—but not Lucifer. Instead, he's gallivanting all over the place in his verbal British glory. Like, it works, but what the heck? Anyway, I came up with two theories:

1. Everyone originally spoke all American-like in heaven, but Lucifer, in an act of rebellion, decided he liked the way Europeans talked and adopted an English accent for pure dramatic purposes. Pretty in-character, if I do say so myself.

2. Everyone originally spoke like Lucifer, but changed their accents whenever he was cast out, kind of like a big divine practical joke. I understand that this is way less likely, but I'm going to go with it because I find it hilarious.

I think a lot about Jake and Bradley unconsciously parroting Carole and Goose's relationship.

I think about them calling each other "honey" often. About Jake flirting, calling Rooster a stud. About Jake sitting in Bradley's lap while he screeches over the piano keys, the other daggers surrounding them with love and laughter. I think about Jake leaning over Bradley to face Nat and telling her, "So. Rooster told me about you and Bob-o, Trace. Hell of an improvement from the last asshole you dated." Only for Rooster to SQUEAK beside him, nuzzling Jake's cheek with a frantic, "Baby, I did not--" "Yes you did." "That was supposed to be a secret, honey!"

Like yes, they're often compared to Icemav, and it's true--SO true, but I also like to think that when Icemav are together, Mav also takes inspiration from Carole and Goose on how to be a partner.

Anyway, send tweet.

top 5 beatdown is such a delightful show to me. my favorite part is when someone goes IN THIS RANKING… i pick. THIS THING! and someone else is like LMAOOOOOO u like THIS THING! that is so stupid. and then 2 minutes later u find out they have it ranked even higher