Fourth Wing Ch. 11 // Iron Flame Ch. 45

Xaden: “Okay everyone, safety briefing for this weekend.”

Xaden *to Ridoc and Bodhi*: “Do not add to the population.”

Xaden *to Imogen*: “Do not subtract from the population.”

Xaden *to Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Garrick in order*: “Do not end up in the newspaper, the hospital, or in jail.”

Xaden *to Violet*: “If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.”

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

I despise you. May every peach you bite into be astringent and large of stone. May your wife cheat on you with the footman and you be forced to raise his bastard son. May every cigarette you light drop from your fingers and burn a hole in your trousers or your carpets. May your dog favor your neighbor as it’s master and never return to you again.

Please watch Avo Rabo, their Voltron reaction videos are the funniest things in the world

(TURN YOUR VOLUME DOWN BEFORE WATCHING)

Fourth Wing characters as Taylor Swift songs:

Violet Sorrengail: The Great War “ it turned into something bigger. somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth. ”

Xaden Riorson: long story short “ when I dropped my sword, I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door. and we live in peace, but if someone comes at us, this time I'm ready. ”

Rhiannon Matthias: Safe & Sound “ don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire. the war outside our door keeps raging on, hold on to this lullaby. ”

Ridoc Gamlyn: Nothing New “ lord, what will become of me? once I've lost my novelty? I've had too much to drink tonight, but this is what I think about. ... will you still want me, when I'm nothing new? ”

Sawyer Henrick: The Prophecy “ and it was written, I got cursed like Eve got bitten. oh, was it punishment? ... but I looked to the sky and said, please, I've been on my knees, change the prophecy. ”

Mira Sorrengail: closure “ don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. ... guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me. ”

Liam Mairi: Long Live “ if Malek forbid, fate should step in and force us into a goodbye, if you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell 'em my name. I had the time of my life flying dragons with you. ”

De Riva Reunion

OK I have watched MANY videos and here it is for all you kids to learn your viral/meme video history, here are some premium vintage meme fodder:

Hampster Dance (1998) Rejected (2000) All Your Base (2001) Tidus Laughing (2001) The End of the World (2003) Badger Badger Badger (2003) Hyakugojyuuichi!!! (2003) GI Joe PSAs (2003) Llama Song (2004) Banana Phone (2004) Ddautta (There She Is!) (2004) Charlie the Unicorn (2005) Cillit Bang (2006) Caramelldansen (2006) Metal Gear Awesome (2006) Leekspin (2006) Marissa Stole the Precious Thing (2006) The Mysterious Ticking Noise (2007) Powerthirst (2007) Paffendorf (2007) Splash Attack (2007) Caipirinha Dance (2007) I Take a Potato Chip… (2007) Nico Nico Douga Medley (2007) Ronald McDonald Ran Ran Ru (2008) Danjo (2008) Giga Pudding (2008) The Ultimate Showdown (2008) Balsamic Vinegar (2008) Sakura-Con Commercial (2009) Shamwow (2009) Slapchop (2009) OK GO- Here It Goes Again (2009) Stu Making Chocolate Pudding at 4 AM (2010) HEYYEYAA (2010) Galo Sengan (2011)

There are probably more that I’m missing. Some of these videos are part of a series (GI Joe, Potter Puppet Pals) and I didn’t count shitty videos like those idiot laughing babies.

Imogen: has anyone seen Violet?

Ridoc: NOPE. NEVER. WHAT. WHO? ME?

Bohdi: for fuck sake where is she?!

Sawyer: testing a theory..

Imogen: which is?!

Ridoc: *mumbling* jumping off Riorson House to see if Xaden will come out of hiding and catch her

Everyone: WHAT?!

Xaden: *storming in absolutely raging with Violet thrown over his shoulder*

Violet: TA DA! I found Xaden! you’re welcome everyone!

PREACH IT!!!

a criticism I see of sao is often along the lines of “what’s the message? that video games are better than real life? that being trapped in the game was Good, Actually? that doesn’t apply to real life at all. that’s a useless thought experiment akin to contemplating the ethics of fucking your clone.”

the way the aincrad arc was about how you have to find love and happiness in the here & now, no matter how bleak things are. because when fighting for a cause, it’s so easy to deny yourself joy until that far-off dream is achieved; you tell yourself you’ll rest after you’ve saved enough money for early retirement. or when capitalism is over and homelessness eradicated. or when you’ve finally reached peak physical form. or when the war is over.

but so many people die before that happens. or they live to see it but shortly succumb to trauma or just the ravages of time. all those years spent fighting for your cause, but now you’ve won you’re an adult and you never had a chance to have any semblance of a childhood. or now you’ve grown so accustomed to misery, you don’t know how to treat happiness- so accustomed to pressure and hatred, you’re cruel and harsh to the people around you.

in sao, life went on, in its strange way. people went fishing. they got married. they cooked and ate for pleasure. they did quests and events for fun. people sarcastically say “they’re trapped in a death game and all they can think about is buying a cottage and fucking?” as if there wasn’t a very direct reasoning for this in the plot. them experiencing a sort of burnout, as well as distrust in the system as it was. them realising their own mortality, that they could be killed any day now; that it’s better to die in love than to die miserable.