"WHY'S THIS DEALER? TAKING THE PISS?!"

"WHY'S THIS DEALER? TAKING THE PISS?!"

stoner! hanta sero x dealer! reader

"WHY'S THIS DEALER? TAKING THE PISS?!"
"WHY'S THIS DEALER? TAKING THE PISS?!"
"WHY'S THIS DEALER? TAKING THE PISS?!"

cw: recreational drug use, bad language, reader is a dealer (loosely based on my last encounter with a fem plug), idiots in love, 21st century love at first sight,

- eventually will be a multi part fic im prolly gonna upload on ao3 but for now standalone

(i make myself laugh)

and here's part two

it's all denki's fault.

i mean it's normally denki's fault, (with a mixture of himself, kirishima, and mina, depending on the context, the situation, or, who bakugou is most mad at), but this time, it is DEFINITELY ALL DENKI'S FAULT.

"dude cmonnnnn. i already promised everyone i'd score for the party."

trust denki kaminari to make promises he can't keep.

so this is where hanta sero ends up, on the corner of the road, in miserable weather, freezing his ass off, waiting for this dealer. it's just gone half ten and hanta's not a fool, so when he saw the "i'll be der for 10" message pop up on his phone, he didn't leave his dorm till quarter past. but now his vape is dead, his phone is on like 10%, and his fingertips are cold, so yeah, he's a little bit pissed off. pissed at himself for not buying a new geek bar, pissed at denki for begging and whining and promising to 'let him have first draw', and pissed at this dickhead for taking their sweet time.

it's a new guy, the dealer. well at least, the number denki gave him was different than usual and their style of texting was nothing like the guy he usually picks up from. hanta likes to think he's relatively chill dude, but if this fucker, who charges even more for a 3.5, doesn't hurry up, he's gonna crash out.

after another slow ten minutes and another "yh man im almost there" text, a car finally pulls up in front of him. he stamps out what's left of his roll up and pushes himself off the fence he was leaning on as the car window slides down.

hanta fumbles and nearly drops his phone out of his hands when he sees you, sat in the drivers seat.

pretty half lidded eyes stare at him, he thinks he hears kendrick playing from your aux but he can't be sure because he's so caught up in you. fingers tapping rhythmically against the wheel, you look up at him through your lashes and call out slow and tired,

"sero, yeah?"

and, oh my god, his family name has never sounded better than it did coming from your plush lips.

he nods dumbly before realising that you probably can't see him very well in the dim lighting of the side road. "yeah. yeah, that's me," he coughs out, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

you face breaks out into a shy smile directly contrasting the cold stare down you'd be giving him before unlocking the car.

"omg, cool! sorry for making you wait so long! i know it's cold, d'you wanna hop in the passage seat rq?" and hanta doesn't even have time to internally debate the pros and cons of getting into a complete strangers car, because his feet are already carrying him across the road and into your front seat.

as he settles into your passenger seat, you slide your chair back the slightest and start rummaging around in a clearly well loved black leather handbag. hanta tries to still, or at least calm, his beating heart. you look strangely familiar, like he's met you in a dream or something. he takes a deep breath and remarks how your car smells faintly of oranges and you begin, "so who gave you my number?"

"kaminari-"

"wow" you laugh, your top lip curling slightly, teeth showing, hanta thinks your so pretty, "you know kaminari? damn, that guy's in my prac maths class and he's-"

suddenly hanta cringes internally, mind flashing back to a scene, maybe a couple days ago, of him and denki hitting blinkers at the bus shelter outside campus, talking about something stupid, them joking about hanta's apparent lack of game (which is not true at all), and denki saying something about some pretty girl in his class who he smokes with sometimes and, in his words, was, 'exactly y'er type bro'.

"he's one of my roommates." is all he says though his lazy smile tenses slightly, no way denki planned this, right?

you hardly notice, rambling about your maths module, and the lack of work that got done between the two of you. you're trying to keep your voice even and not take too many glances at the hot guy, sero hanta, kaminari's cute roommate, who you had instagram stalked literally on the way over, while you were stuck in traffic, because you'd seen him on the blonde's story. it was some badly taken photo of a group of four guys all sat on top of each other on the same couch, two of them laughing, four beers and an open pack of amber leaf on the table. but sero, cheesing at the camera, sat on the thigh of a different blonde who seemed literal seconds away from punching his lights out, had caught your eye.

so to have him here, in your car, right next to you. so close you could practically smell him, and he smelt gooood, the standard stoner boy scent that you expected but with a mix of something spicy, lord-

when you finally look up to him from where you've been digging in your bag, phone in hand, hanta shuffles with the dead vape in his pocket trying to make it less obvious he'd spent the better part of five minutes just staring at you.

"speak of the devil." you shake your phone at hanta to take and on the screen is a recent chat between you and his best friend as well as a snap of him clearly drunk yelling at the camera from five- five minutes ago??

"he's so unserious." you laugh again, and take your phone back from hanta typing out a quick response then clicking your phone off. "you wanted an eighth yeah?"

hanta nods dumbly, still kinda shocked that denki pulled this off without him realising, and you pull out a little plastic bag with a couple nuggets inside and hand it to him.

he goes to grab the cash in pocket but you stop him with a gentle arm to his shoulder.

you drop your arm quick enough, overthinking your next actions but say anyway, "don't worry 'bout this one, yeah-"

"-what? nah 's fine i've got cash," he trails off, you're looking at him, beautiful wide eyes.

"no i've already made up my mind," you grin slowly at his slightly flustered state and for a moment neither of you talk. the song has long sinced changed and your radio is now playing an old rnb track he doesn't recognise but he finds himself relaxed in your presence.

"besides, i made you wait for so long, and," you continue quickly, your smile even wider, as hanta tilts his head to hide his flustered face. "you're a friend of a friend, right?"

when he finally makes his way back to the party, denki's there, cheesing like an idiot, and when bakugou asks why he took forever, and he parrots him "yeaah, sero, what took you so long?" slick as shit, hanta can't even bring himself to be pissed.

yeah it was denki's fault, but the weight of your number, your actual number, with your first name and a '<3' next to it, in his phone makes it worth it.

he throws the baggie of whats left of the bud to his 'friend' who is still wiggling his eyebrows and steals a vape off the table.

"dude stfu or i'm never picking up for you again."

More Posts from Champagnehenssey and Others

4 months ago

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1 year ago
This Is Money Snake. She Only Appears Every 312 Years.Ā 

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years.Ā 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life.Ā 

3 months ago

ā€œI'ma kill the pussy, I think we need a paramedic.ā€

ā‹†Ėšąæ” Black!F!Reader x Ur Fav!

šŸ“¢: nsfw!, dom!behavior, pussy referred to as ā€˜she’; stretch marks, not proofread :3, very short

ā˜… men who bend you on the nearest surface. counter top, table, couch,—whatever’s near and wherever he can fuck you from the back as long as he gets his billion dollar view. If that’s not available he’ll use the nearest wall pressing you against it his body all against yours so you can feel his growing erection in his pants begging for you.

ā˜…yes his billion dollar view. with your back arched, ass up, and face down(sweaty, and against the pillow almost smudged, pathetic sounds coming outta you like a pornstar). it was fucking glorious the way your body was beneath him. He liked it when you were sooo feeble under him like this. Your soft warm skin glistening with sweat, the curves on your body, the accentuations, the carvings. Yes carving, like a—uh, Greek statue y’know the one depicted of Aphrodite? She ain’t had shit on you in his opinion he adored it all. Especially your stretch marks! The ones that began on your lower back stretching to your hips, thighs, and ass? Sunlight on water. Perfection supposedly didn’t exist as humans were flawed but too him? You where the standard. Perfect.

ā˜… his hand slide down to the middle of your back before pressing on it ā€œDeeper baby.ā€ His voice muttered into your ear and you obeyed your back deepening further ā€œThere we go.ā€ He cooed pulling a stray curl from your face so he could see your eyes his smirk deepening from what he saw in them. ā€œThat’s my girl, doin’ so good for me.ā€

ā˜…men who place love bites on your shoulders licking them clean light bruises in there wake right after, kisses on them and in between the shoulder blades(the lil moans you released were so precious—), and his fingers ever so gently trailing down your spine all because of the way your breathing slows, and hitches and maybe even a hiccup.

ā˜…men who really, really want to tug, pull and wrap your hair around his fists but decided on not to because it hurt for you and not in a good way. So he decided on using your neck wrapping his big, rough hand ā€˜round there. It made it all the better feeling your plus beat rapidly against his fingers. But make no mistake! That protective hairstyle? Oh you’re so done. ā€œNah, nah lemme pull it c’mon I’ll be gentle I swear.ā€ He’s not gentle not even a little bit with your passion twists wrapped around his hand messily tilting your head back all meanly like a bully, a bully who likes to fuck you. Your throat bare and he places open mouthed kisses on the skin sucking a bit, even on the pulse.

ā˜…men who fuck you like you insulted his mom in the worst way. men who fuck you like he absolutely hates your existence and the fact that your still alive breathing. men who fuck you like your just some dumb rag doll to put his cock in. Rough. Raw. Passionate. Straight up pounding your shit with no mercy it’s almost like he wants you dead. But there’s a duality—almost whiplash with the way he whispers in your ear ā€œwant me to—shit—stop, pretty?ā€ or ā€œm’goin too hard? aw, shh don’t cry on me now.ā€ pressing soft almost feather light kisses on your jaw or on the back of your neck, his voice all hoarse, raw and low and you’re the only person who gets to hear him like this all intimate because this is solely reserved for his girl.

ā˜…men who slap your ass and he doesn’t care if it’s big or small he slapping it either way just to see a deep red mark depicting his handprint. (If you look back you’ll see the pure delight in his eyes, a big grin on his face at the recoil) Because your his. Branding he guesses? and he rubs it’s after soothing the pain all caringly like he’s genuinely sorry but his mouth is so dirty when he says ā€œyou’re not gonna walk for the next week so, call out for everyday okay? I’ll take care of you yeah?ā€ He tilts his head to the side lazily seemly in thought before saying ā€œI’ll massage your legs, your thighs, back as well for ya..probably your whole body..you want that right?ā€ Mind you he’s saying this while he’s still fucking you his pace slowed down though to give you air time talking like he’s listing a grocery list or something. And when you don’t answer quick enough he gives your ass a quick smack making you cry out ā€œY-yeah!ā€ He smirks rubbing your ass again all soothingly ā€œYeah? Glad you agree..don’t like how they’ve been working my girl so hard these days.ā€ He says and his ears pick up on your shaky breathing and he doesn’t know why you’re doing that. He’s still got one more round left in him maybe two..he’s feeling a bit needy today. But he’s not the only one clearly with the way she’s squeezing him dry all tight and warm tryna choke him out acting like she wanted a baby. Poor pussy, all clingy n shit it’s okay tho! He’ll fuck you till she tapped out.


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2 years ago

Bakugou Headcanons Shows of Affection

Warnings: Cursing and a sexual situation

Bakugou Headcanons Shows Of Affection

He might not show it but Bakugou’s a pretty chill guy. Well whenever your around never in-front of the extras. He felt comfortable around you, you understood the way he acted and he appreciated it.

So in a way he returns it back with shows of affection. You feeling cold? Bakugou’s gotchu a quick use of his quirk and his palm was a mini heater. He would rub on your back or on your thigh if you where comfortable.

Not feeling to good? Bakugou’s got you the man is there with tissues, medicine, and homemade chicken soup. Sure he scolds you for being a dumbass catching a cold be he’s there for you and that’s all that matters.

On your period? Oh you better fucking believe Bakugo Katsuki is there his mother told him all the ways to help a girl on her period she basically engraved it in his mind ain’t no way she’s raising a uneducated kid. He’s got all the necessities pads or tampons whatever you prefer, dark chocolate to help with cramps hell yeah he’s got it, heating pads?Shit his quirk is made for that. Bakugou got you and he’s gonna take care of you.

Feeling sad? Mans will literally bring a speaker playing your favorite songs, food and most importantly romance manga. Bakugo prides himself on knowing very important stuff about you. It’s how he always beats you at couple test(that you force him to do).

Feeling tired? He’s your personal pillow even thought you snore like hell. He’ll let you snuggle him if it gets you to sleep he needs you to get rest so he can beat you when you two spar together.

Like I said before Bakugou prides him self on knowing everything about you even your little weak spots when you two our making out together. Yeah he knows you like to be nibbled on your ear, touched in certain spots, leaving hickeys on your neck, and he even perfected the way you liked being kissed.

Sometimes when your feeling sore cause of a day of training Bakugou will offer to massage your body. You where surprised by the offer mainly cause well it was Bakugou or Katsuki now that you two our dating. He was pretty good at massaging you always managing to the get into the tough areas.

At the end of the day your met with big spooning Katsuki. He was having one of his rare insecure moments and he really needed you. ā€œDamn Deku he’s just always getting better and better than meā€ frustration edged onto his voice. You reassured him that he’d get stronger because well he’s Katsuki fucking Bakugou and he be damned before anyone beats him to being number one.

Authors Note: Decided to do a Bakugou one cause I love the little hothead. Also that GIF of Bakugou confused is so funny for no reason.


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5 months ago

I’m gonna cry I was writing a one shot and I had exited to safari to check smth I came back IT WAS GONE FAWKKKK 😭😭😭

2 months ago

i love being a little freak on tumblr nobody can stop me

5 months ago

Guys I feel like a nonchalant dreadhead/emotionally distant dad on here.

Basically I had (like a really long time ago bout a year or two) put out a suggestion post for ppl to give me smth to write abt and long story short I never did it 😭 like I maybe did one before I quit halfway.

I am so sorry my dear followers to whoever requested me I have failed you, I have dishonored you, and I have disgraced you. Tis all my fault me and my burnt out issues/attention span/whatever undiagnosed thing I have.

However I might do them. Idk

4 months ago

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Life has a way of testing us, and for me and my family, it’s been a test of survival. As we navigate the aftermath of a devastating war, our world has been reduced to uncertainty, cold nights, and endless struggles to find stability.

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champagnehenssey - Welcome To My Mind
Welcome To My Mind

She/Her ā‹†ā­’Ėš.⋆Black ąŖœā€āž“I ᔣ𐭩 music ꩜ .ᐟ100% self indulged

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